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Uh-oh! The cruiser was giving me the silent treatment!(12 posts)

Uh-oh! The cruiser was giving me the silent treatment!Humma Hah
Apr 15, 2003 2:46 PM
It knows about Sunday, and all the pics I posted of the 'Mount. I made the mistake of parking it near the computer. So I took it outside for some pics in the spring sunshine.

I'll let it provide the captions:

"First off, you'll notice I don't need to lean against some stupid picnic table like that crippled hussy anorexic roadbike! You'll also notice, I have a NAME! And I may be a little heavy, but I gots CURVES! I'm much better equipped, too, with fenders and a chainguard and other practical stuff."
I gave that poor thing my old vinyl seat ...Humma Hah
Apr 15, 2003 2:50 PM
... and I gots me a brand-new BROOKS! Talk about a saddle with ATTITUDE! And my seat-tube isn't all bent out of shape, either. It bears my history, from the shop that sold me, to the shop that helped make me one of the first mountainbikes, to the shop that helped restore me in California, topped off with a Schwinn Quality decal.
Lugs? You think those silly tinkertoys are pretty?Humma Hah
Apr 15, 2003 2:53 PM
How can those silly lugs compare to my strong, sleek electro-forged joints? Nothing else comes close! Lugs are for little shops that don't have this kind of American industrial high-technology!
Welcome to my office ...Humma Hah
Apr 15, 2003 2:59 PM
First, every office should have a nameplate. I carry my owner's name, because anyone who rides such a wonderful bike is someone everyone would want to know.

On my bars (which are one-of-a-kind custom, I'll have you know), you'll notice I have TWO quartz-halogen headlights, a CatsEye AT-100 altimeter cyclocomputer, and a bell. There are foam grips at either end.

That hussy roadbike has a $14 brand-X cyclocomputer bought on sale, no bell, and just some kind of foam tape on the bars. I've heard the Paramount's bars are just flea-market junk off some old Cannondale, purchased for $2.
Wanna talk about head badges?Humma Hah
Apr 15, 2003 3:04 PM
Mine's MUCH bigger and easier to read than that other Schwinn's. And its bracketed between a pair of primo NOS chromed Schwinn headset bearings!

That other bike's foriegn headset is not even Schwinn-approved!

Forgive the grime. I go to WORK every day, unlike that fair-weather weekend bike that doesn't even have a headlight, and can't risk hitting the local potholes in the dark. Do you know that silly thing actually spends most of its time on the maintenance stand?
is that a suicide dynamite rig on there? poor cruiser :-) nmDougSloan
Apr 16, 2003 6:29 AM
Dual-acting Schwinn mini-pump, NightStick battery ...Humma Hah
Apr 16, 2003 6:50 AM
... very high-tech!
stay out of Baghdad with that; looks suspicious nmDougSloan
Apr 16, 2003 6:56 AM
S'OK ... I've got connections there ...Humma Hah
Apr 16, 2003 10:22 AM
... my nephew will vouch for me. He's a lieutenant with the 101st Airborne, 3rd Brigade, there right now.

Not that the fighting is over, they've taken up the job of trash collection!,1626,ECP_746_1889157,00.html
The SADDLE! It's AWESOME! It's everythingOldEdScott
Apr 16, 2003 5:42 AM
I dreamed it would be on HH when you first mentioned you'd ordered it by mistake! SERIOUSLY cool!

Overall cool damn bike too, and cool narrative. Thanks for sharing the tale.
The SADDLE! It's AWESOME! It's everythingTrevo
Apr 18, 2003 5:52 PM
Is that a bolt on vee brake adapter?

Sweet bike, if only they could all talk.
From the Big Cheese catalog ...Humma Hah
Apr 19, 2003 8:15 AM
... some beach-front bike shops that specialize in cruisers carry them, and there are various versions. I got mine thru a catalog at a LBS. They typically attach by one bolt and two hose clamps. Mine is intended for a caliper brake hole, so I made an adapter to go to the existing fender hole on the cruiser, but I believe there are versions intended for the fender-hole mount. The hose clamps go to the seat stays.

The rear brakes were especially handy on long descents. The coasterbrake was fine until you rode it for about 500-700 ft of descent, in which case it overheated and howled like a banshee. This powerful rear brake has enabled me to put on a modern rear wheel with SS freewheel.