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Explanation of Racer Categories(3 posts)

Explanation of Racer Categoriesnoveread
Jun 26, 2003 8:02 AM
I saw this over on the velonews board and got quite a laugh out of it. Someone even added a pro description. Here they are!

Pro

  • Levetates over water, trains on anything, rides with eyes closed in hail storms.
  • Sprints five kilometers. (10 when working for Cippo)
  • Will attack on a 30% grade, going up or down without an increase in breath rate or appreaence of physical exertion.
  • Can change entire bikes while riding after flatting.
  • Resting heart rate is between 2 and 35, max heart rate is 215 to 245.
  • Measures distance training in terms of world cup parcourses.

Cat 1

  • Walks on water, trains on ice, rides in anything.
  • Sprints two kilometers.
  • Will attack on a 30% grade, going up or down.
  • Can change flats while riding.
  • Resting heart rate is between 30 and 35, max heart rate is 200 to 230.
  • Measures distance training in terms of Tour de France stages.

Cat 2

  • Rides across water, trains in snow.
  • Sprints one kilometer.
  • Will attack on a 10% grade, going up or down.
  • Can change flats while still in the pedals.
  • Resting heart rate is between 40 and 45, max heart rate is 185 to 200.
  • Measures distance training in terms of centuries per day.

Cat 3

  • Rides through water.
  • Sprints 500 to 600 meters.
  • Will attack on a 5% grade, going down.
  • Can change flats in under 3 minutes, but must get off the bike first.
  • Resting heart rate is between 50 and 55, max heart rate is 185 to 200.
  • Measures distance training in terms of centuries per week.

Cat 4

  • Rides around water.
  • Sprints 200 to 300 meters.
  • Will attack on the flats.
  • Can change flats in under 5 minutes.
  • Resting heart rate is between 50 and 60, max heart rate is 160 to 180.
  • Measures distance training in terms of 10's of miles per day.

Cat 5

  • Rides in light rain.
  • Sprints 50 to 100 meters.
  • Will attack on the flat if someone in front falls down.
  • Can change flats in best two out of three tries.
  • Resting heart rate is between 60 and 70, max heart rate is 160 to 170.
  • Measures distance training in terms of miles per day.

Citizen

  • Rides alternate July 17th's, if it isn't too hot and there's no Pro sports on the tube.
  • Sprints two meters, with 20 minute rest stops.
  • Will attack a pizza with both hands.
  • Has not noticed that the rear tire has been flat for two years.
  • Resting heart rate is 90, max heart rate is 93.
  • Measures distance training in terms of how far it is to the nearest Baskin-Robbins


Noveread
ahahahaaaha! nmrrjc5488
Jun 28, 2003 6:04 PM
thank you noveread, that made my daylonefrontranger
Jul 1, 2003 5:47 AM
This will get circulated amongst my cronies.

Sad how closely "Cat 3" applies to me...