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You can't make this stuff up.(2 posts)

You can't make this stuff up.RoyGBiv
Jun 26, 2002 12:03 PM
Canadian who used to be a man is now winning women's competitions
HALIFAX (CP) - The Canada Cup women's downhill mountain bike champion at Martock, N.S., this month had more than a leg up on her competition - she used to be a man.
" We're talking about somebody who looks like (she's in) perfect physical shape for a downhill mountain biker," Ski Martock owner Joe O'Brien said of Canadian champ Michelle Dumaresq.
The twenty-something Vancouver native, described "as well over 200 pounds, six feet tall, broad shoulders," beat her nearest competition by about 20 seconds in a three-minute race through the woods at Martock.
The former Michael Dumaresq easily won the ladies circuit, O'Brien said, adding that when he presented her with the senior elite women's gold cup, the handshake was "quite something."
Michelle is... sometimes...shirt
Jun 26, 2002 2:23 PM
Michelle is human. Michelle is fallable. Michelle rides equipment that his/her sponsors pay him/her (and his/her team) to use. Michelle trains. Sometimes hard, sometimes not. Sometimes he/she eats pizza (even though Chris/Pat/Jody probably told him/her not to).
Michelle probably follows his/her detailed training regimen even less than his/her fans do. Michelle is just a strong guy/girl. He/She pretty much knows how to train, and he/she gets advice from his/her coach. Sometimes he/she uses that advice, and sometimes not. Michelle is not a robot. Sometimes Michelle even takes a DAY OFF. He/She knows that he's/she's got the goods. And then some. Michelle knows how to live his/her life well. Sometimes the personal details of his/her life override the professional ones.

Sometimes Michelle doesn't feel like attacking, even though he/she still has some testosterone floating around in his/her body. Sometimes Michelle just wants to be Lance. Sometimes Michelle doesn't know why he/she does certain things...he/she just does them. Like have his/her pecker whacked off. Sometimes Michelle is tickled by how much people care about the truly unimportant details of his/her life (and/or his/her bike or chamois selection)....Michelle has probably contemplated posting all the measurements of his/her bike and/or body measurements on his/her website, just to shut everyone up, but he/she probably said (in falsetto) "fock it...gently [wink]" and ordered another long, thin burrito instead. Sometimes Michell is laughing his/her ass off, as he/she heads to the bank and deposits another "endorsement" check.

Sometimes Michelle is just looking over his/her shoulder, and not neccessarily staring down his/her opponent. Maybe he's just wondering if Tyler is back from taking a piss, and if he/she should go back and check to make sure he's alright. Sometimes Michelle wishes his/her every action were just as unscrutinized as his/her future thoughts are, although the scrutinization is thrilling in a theatrical sort of way.