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THE HOMOCIDE CONTINUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(6 posts)

THE HOMOCIDE CONTINUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bigbadtrikid
Jul 4, 2001 11:40 PM
Oh guess what now. My dad got mad that I wasn't doing my chores and my room is a shit hole due to the fact that every day I'm swimming 3 miles, running 5-8, and biking 35-40 and I'm tired. So What does he do. Takes my racing wheels and bike, puts them in his car and says hes going to sell them to the pawn shop. Smashes my $90 helmet, that I bought, over my head, leaves a huge crack in it, and says that its fine and theres no need to buy another one. Then hides my racing suit. And then he goes on to bad mouth Lance Armstrong saying "oh the guy with one ball", and "wow he over came cancer", and "oh what a pusy he shaves his legs" and make threats to rip every Lance Armstrong poster in my room. and it doesn't stop there. I was watching the documentry on the USPS team on TV tonight "27 Days to The Tour" and he said quit watching this bull shit trash and wouldn't let me watch the rest. This all coming from a 50 year old man who is a friday night drunk, and smokes ocasionaly. And all before a big triathlon that I have coming up on Sunday that I paid $47 to enter and a helmet is manditory. And now he says that he won't take me to compete but feels compeled to brag to the people he works with about my overall finish of 27th out of 550 2 weeks ago. Does anyone have any suggestion about what I should do beside anger management because he says he doesn't have a problem. Thank You Reading this depressing post.
Hang in there.....Len J
Jul 5, 2001 5:57 AM
I grew up dirt poor and with a similar experience with my Father. After an awful lot of years thinking about it I think that he couldn't handle any of his kids reaching to do things he couldn't (or wouldn't) do. It reminded him of his own weakness. All that being said, I know that it doesn't make what is happening to you now any easier to put up with. It really sucks.

After my dad threw out the only pair of running shoes I had (That I had worked my a** of to buy) I realized that nothing I had was safe from his rampages. Realizing that running was one of my only real escapes, I decided to keep my stuff at a friends house. If I was going out for a run, I'd go around the corner to my friends Change & go run. It wasn't fun, I hated that I had to do it, but it was better than giving him the satifaction of me quitting. You might want to try the same thing.

One more thing. I know that right now this feels like it is never going to end but trust me it does. Hang in there and know that this has very little to do with you. I suspect it is mainly his problem.
Hang in there.....Jon Billheimer
Jul 5, 2001 8:39 AM
I have great sympathy for you. Although I'm now in my late fifties, I grew up with an emotionally distant and sometimes abusive father and I keenly empathize with what you're going through. This, unfortunately, is about him, not about you. But you have to learn to cope.

As the above post suggests, see if you can move your stuff out of the house. Borrow a helmet for your tri. Perservere. And try to realize that once you're grown, educated, and out of the house you have the rest of your life to pursue your passions...and remember not to make the same mistakes with your own kids down the road.

All the best to you. And NEVER let anything deflect you from your passion.
P.S.Jon Billheimer
Jul 5, 2001 8:48 AM
Oh yeah...and go clean your room! If you've got enough energy to train like Simon Whitfield, you can pick up your mess. Just another dad talkin'!
life lessonsDog
Jul 5, 2001 9:05 AM
How old are you? That might help a bit.

Bottom line, as I've been there myself, if you want the benefits, you gotta pay the toll. Can't remain at home, eating the parents' food, etc., and not play by their rules. It sucks sometimes, but that's life.

If you are old enough, and willing enough, to be on your own, what you'll find very quickly is that providing for yourself will take most all of your energy and money, and you'll not be able to train and race as you would like out there working at minimum wage and living in some hell hole where all your stuff will get stolen. It isn't fair, but that's a lesson for the rest of your life.

If you can train all that much, your dad very well might find it hard to understand how you don't have energy to help around the house. My advice, bust your butt and help all you can around the house. It's the easiest job you'll ever have.

Doug
life lessonsVance
Jul 10, 2001 5:51 PM
What they said , plus one suggestion . Clean your room everyday before you train .If you do it will only take a minute , & I bet it won't make you so tired that you have to give up any training . Keep dad happy . Vance.