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Taking a piss(12 posts)

Taking a pissname suppressed
May 2, 2001 12:30 AM
At risk of asking the obvious, what do you do when you need to take a piss in the middle of a long race. If you stop you lose the pack and even if you can catch them again you will have wasted a lot of energy.

What does everyone else do.
Ah, the "Pro Pee"Java
May 2, 2001 11:50 AM
You're quite right about not wanting to stop so as to get dropped off the back unable to catch up. Although professional races sometimes slow or stop for a group pee, even this can backfire as it did to Laurent Jalabert during the Tour de France ('96?) during the infamous "pissing rebellion" in which other riders attacked as he stopped for a pee, even though he was wearing the leader's jersey, and ONCE (his team) wasn't able to close the gap and he lost about 10 minutes to his contenders by the end of the stage.

Solution: THE PRO PEE

Here's how it works: You and a teammate make your way to the side of the pack, toward the back, he puts a hand on your back and pushes you while he pedals, you steer with one hand and direct your pee off to the side with the other (leg down on that side for greater pee clearance). Having seen this successfully accomplised in a race, I would add the following:

(i) You and your teammate should ensure that anyone behind you knows what's about to happen so as not to "piss" someone off.

(ii) The pro pee should be executed at a slower section of the course where it is unlikely that the pace will pick up (alternately, if you've got another teammate to go to the front, he can try to control the pace for a couple minutes while you do your thing.

(iii) The pro pee should be practiced and perfected prior to an in-race situation.

And there you have it, the Pro Pee.
more ideasMichelle
May 2, 2001 2:34 PM
And if you're a woman? :)
Saw this once...that'smrfredtoyou
May 2, 2001 3:13 PM
Chick is between parked cars outside a NJ bar. After exposing the required plumbing, she put her hands on the bumper of one car and her feet on the bumper of another. I was impressed by the relative stealth of this technique and the fact that her shoes stayed dry.

I can't answer your question, but am dying to hear the real solution.
In the words of the Soup Nazi ...Java
May 2, 2001 3:22 PM

I honestly don't think there's a feasible on-bike practical method for a woman to relieve herself, other than simply relieving herself (apparently this is what some serious marathoners do during their races).

Hey, if there was serious money on the line and I had a shot at winning and the pace was too fast for a pro pee, I'd probably just releive myself right there on the saddle. However, I'll never be racing for more than a medal and swag so if I couldn't do a pro pee I'd probably pull over or just hold it to the finish.

this is the sort of true expert advice you don't getrollo tommassi
May 3, 2001 11:03 AM
in Bicycling magazine!

That's why I love this board.

As for girls, most events are too short to really worry about it (exercise induced renal shutdown helps), but I did once let the levee break during a really long mtb race (it was 100degrees with 100% humidity and somehow I was hydrated!?) You've never truly experienced life until you've peed your skinsuit on a long downhill. AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh (bump bump) AAAAaaaaahhhhhhh (bump bump) aaaaaahhhhhhhaaaahhhhhh (bump bump)aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Pure Hilarity!Java
May 3, 2001 12:22 PM
I just burst out laughing reading your post here at work. I can just picture the look of relief on your face ... well done sir, well done indeed!
I can just picture the look of relief on your face ...gimmeaminute
May 3, 2001 2:56 PM
I had to laugh....I really took it out of context. The going rate for that around here is $250....
Still wonderingMichelle
May 4, 2001 11:02 AM
I think Java's right - the womens RR arent long enough to warrent this "behavior" - although it really ticks me off that guys can run over to a tree even before a race whereas the rest of us a) either have to stand in line for the sani can or b) Have to have 3 people assisting with towels, cars and lookout - what a hassle....
I hear the same complaint......gimmeaminute
May 4, 2001 4:21 PM
every time I am doing my thing and enjoying the scenery at the same time....I admit, it is one of lifes inequities.

Well, unless it is really cold out and the fellas' have to go. : )
Well done sir? Rollo is actually a girl. (nm)Bruno S
May 8, 2001 7:30 PM
Hey! don't blow my cover!! nm ;)rollo tommassi
May 8, 2001 7:50 PM