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Monolithic Oil Corporation...(2 posts)

Monolithic Oil Corporation...rwbadley
Dec 4, 2003 9:44 AM
Hello there! I'm Newton Ames speaking to you on behalf of Monolithic Oil about the current energy situation.

You know, if we all just sacrifice a little we can pull together to beat the current problems of not enough energy. Monolithic is doing it's part by killing most of the birds that nest around our beautiful oil refineries. Birds eat up a lot of food, and as everyone knows food takes energy to grow and prepare... so the fewer birds there are, the less energy we'll be wasting.

Now, How can you help? If there are any old folks around the house, just set 'em outside at night. It looks like a long hard winter and the fewer people there are, the less energy we'll be wasting. Leaving the old folks out is nothing new, the Eskimos do it all the time; and they know a thing or two about surviving without much betcha.

When you drive, don't take your foot off the gas for stop signs, red lights, little children, or anything...a smooth steady driving technique is the most economical. The cost in human lives and suffering will be more than offset by the savings in gasoline.

Now, I hope these tips have helped you to become more aware that the blame for todays current energy situation rests on YOUR shoulders, and Your concience; and not ours.

Monolithic Oil Corporation. We want you to...Pay!

National Lampoon 1977
things haven't changed much in 26 yearslandru
Dec 4, 2003 10:12 AM
The Congressman that killed the motorcyclist was following their advice.

I think my next car is going to be a Toyota Prius.