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advice requested...should I?(16 posts)

advice requested...should I?ClydeTri
Sep 3, 2003 7:56 AM
I am 46, divorced, no kids....last night I went out on a blind date with a woman. She is 22, nice, sweet, divorced, one child, college graduate working on a masters. She is drop dead georgeous with a body that is very breathtaking. I am not in shape, getting older by the day. She said should would love to go out again. Should I persue this? Is this a midlife crisis? Can a 46 year old man and 22 year old woman have a succesful relationship?
I am not one to use women, so, I really dont want to head down this road just for kicks. She is looking for a stable relationship. But, the age thing sorta makes me think...any of yall dating/married to a woman 24 years younger?
Sep 3, 2003 8:05 AM
Hey, it either works or it doesn't. As long as no one gets hurt, what's the big deal?
No harm in taking it one step at a timeloki_1
Sep 3, 2003 8:29 AM
heck, my wife already thinks that when she hits 40 i am going to trade her in for two 20's.
Hmmm. Here's a difficult question to ask yourselfKristin
Sep 3, 2003 8:41 AM
Why is she pursuing you? I know that sounds harsh, but its an honest question. If she's a 22 year old hottie, then it stands to reason that she could get any man she wants. So why a 46 year old man? Her reasons might be perfectly sound, but its kind of a red flag. Personally, I believe that love is always possible. But if she is choosing partners based on some confused ideas in her head, then things can only get messy. As it stands, she is only 22 and is divorced with a child. It doesn't proove that she has unresolved issues, but it is another red flag, no?

No reason not to move forward and pursue it; but I'd go very slowly and keep your eyes wide open. I also challenge you to be sober about this. A 46 year old guy could have lots of fun with a young hottie. But if you notice that she is in this for reasons that are not healthy for her, then take the high road and be a mature man. Don't take advantage of her.
Hmmm. Here's a difficult question to ask yourselfClydeTri
Sep 3, 2003 9:00 AM
I know..those are all questions I am asking myself...I have those two little "me's" on my with a pitchfork and one with a halo....guess the option is go slow and keep my eyes/brain open...
and try not to hurt the kid in the process either (nm)ColnagoFE
Sep 3, 2003 9:12 AM
I have my doubtsColnagoFE
Sep 3, 2003 9:09 AM
Maybe if there wasn't a kid involved I'd say go for it. How old is the kid? Even if just an infant that means she didn't have much time to grow up after high school. Call me a cynic, but do you have any suspicion she's looking for a sugar daddy and not a relationship?
I have my doubtsClydeTri
Sep 3, 2003 9:48 AM
The kid is two, she brought her to the dinner last night, ...we had "chatted" online on and off for several months before meeting. She does want to remarry someday and have at least one more kid. I do also, want to remarry and have a family, didnt have any kids first time around. Women near my age dont seem to be into having kids.
She is a smart gal, got her degree in math in three years with a year off to have the baby.

I am wondering if she is looking for somebody to "take care of her" also...but,is that so bad if one is honest about it?

I hardly know her, might not even like her after I get to know her better, but, any of yall would stop and think about it also if you were single and you met her I am guessing.
And, you whether one likes it not, there is something to be said for smart beautiful 22 year old gals...
It's not bad as long as you know what you're getting intoColnagoFE
Sep 3, 2003 10:00 AM
Is she still gonna be there 25 years from now when you are going senile and she is still relatively in her prime? Hard questions, but if you take it one step at a time I think you'll do the right thing. Just think with the head on top of your head and not the one down below and you'll be fine.
agree,just curiuous of any of yall are in similiar relationshipsClydeTri
Sep 3, 2003 10:05 AM
any personal experience yall can draw on?
agree,just curiuous of any of yall are in similiar relationshipsTri_Rich
Sep 3, 2003 10:33 AM
My best friend growing up has parents who are over 20yrs apart in age, (he apparently grew up friends with her father). They are happily married to this day, with two grown kids, so it can work.
Red flag right there.PseuZQ
Sep 3, 2003 10:33 AM
I don't think it shows great judgment for her to have brought her child on a blind date. As a woman who has dated divorced men with kids, I want to make *damn* sure -- as do the men -- that there's something solid happening before I, the "new GF", meet any kids involved. Otherwise, bringing people in and out of the child's life is really unfair.

Now, the other perspective: When I was 25, I dated a guy who was a lot older than I. Like, more than 20 years older. I'm not bad looking now, and was better looking then. (That's weird for me to say, but I'm trying to add perpective.) Why did I do this? Certainly not for the money. I think more for the sport of it, but I had zero -- ZERO -- intentions of ever making it serious, which may have been sorta sh***y on my part. But hey, I was footloose and fancy free, did it 'cause I could. I didn't have kids though, nor did he.

We sure raised eyebrows during his family functions, I tell you what...
Red flag right there.ClydeTri
Sep 3, 2003 10:39 AM
it was just a meeting for dinner, nothing more...
OK, hope I didn't come across as snippy or too glib...PseuZQ
Sep 3, 2003 11:32 AM
It's just that when kids are involved, I like to be really, really careful.

I think as long as you motives are good, as in, you really like her, versus, "she's a young hottie, ergo, I am most studly" (and I'm not saying you're not!) then go for it. Just know what you're getting into!
And the difference is??? (nm)53T
Sep 5, 2003 3:17 PM
No. The fact that you are asking the question answers it (nm)94Nole
Sep 4, 2003 10:21 AM