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Nostalgia and random ramblings(8 posts)

Nostalgia and random ramblingsgregario
Aug 26, 2003 8:05 AM
God, I love this time of year. The sunlight has a different quality to it as it slowly starts slanting more towards the southern sky and is less overhead. Soon there will be a crispness to the air and the leaves will begin changing.

This time of year always makes me nostalgic. I'm 41 years old and I think of when I was in college, walking to class, without a whole lot to worry about. It was this time of year that I really fell in love with my first true love, and I still think about her today. That was 20 years ago. I did a computer search for her this morning and found her photo. I had heard she was a teacher in a town fairly close by and I do a bike tour there every year. I have a very remote hope that I would see her afterwards when I'm out on the town and having my post ride meal. God I was in love with her. But I don't know how I would feel if I saw her again. She ended up going back to her old boyfriend, her high school sweetheart. It was her first year away from home and she was away from him and found me. I guess the guilt was too much. I'm very very happily married today and am very lucky, but I can't help thinking about the what if...I have to stop thinking about the past. Most of the time these thoughts don't intrude, but this time of year is when it happens. It's going to be her birthday in a couple weeks. Even though you are happy today, don't you sometimes think about the one that got away? I don't think I'd want things to be different though. Like I said, I am very lucky today.

I love to go the the Upper Peninsula this time of year too, that's where she was from...Rapid River. The second you cross that bridge you're in a different world. It's really hard to describe. My whole attitude changes. The pressures are gone, you're in God's country, on the way to Lake Superior. I was married at Wagner Falls outside of Munising, by the mayor. A photo of the falls is on my office wall. My wife looked beautiful. We've both put on a few pounds since then, but we ride our tandem a lot. We've been married 10 years. When we met she thought a good ride was around a big block, maybe a mile, on a three speed. Now on the tandem 60 miles and more is acceptable.

Pretty soon the highs will be in the 50's and the cider and donut mill will be running. Michigan football will be on the radio. Leaves will be blowing across the road in the dappled sunlight as we ride the local hills on the tandem. God, what a great time of year.

I think about them occasionallyColnagoFE
Aug 26, 2003 8:19 AM
Though I know for a fact that my first true love was married less than a year to the guy she left me for. She was from a wealthy family and I never really measured up in that respect. She and her rich hubby got into cocaine and that pretty much did them in according to her. Haven't talked to her in over 15 years. The second one I left in Denver when I moved to Seattle. I visited her once about a year later and it just wasn't the same--haven't talked to her in over 15 years either. Then I met my wife when I moved back to Iowa to go to school again. I don't think you can go home again, but it's interesting to think about. I like the fall though. I've shut off the central air and am keeping the windows open at night to feel the cool breeze. Soon the aspens will turn bright yellow. Have to plan a ride up the Peak to Peak soon to see them.
Memories, memories how long will you haunt my days....128
Aug 26, 2003 9:32 AM
So long as you don't get hung up on the past, it's amusing to ponder I suppose.

Great description of the season btw. Very evocative. And doesn't this season evoke memories of chance and romance! Why is that???

As for the one that got away, and the next one, and then one more. Think about them? Roll with them? Try to forget them? Sure. It never ends! Much madness is divine reason!

I was pondering similar musings recently, and wondered if men find fall invigorating and sparking romance and women (especially Eastern European girls) are maybe more inclined to the spring? Just generally speaking... Maybe it's more personality-type than a gendered response,...I dunno. And pity those seasonless souls.

But fall sure makes me want to serve up great dinners, pour tawny port near the fire, and share warm...sweet...desserts.
When I look back 20 to 25 yearsContinental
Aug 26, 2003 10:17 AM
I think, man was I ever a screw-up! How did I get to the nice life with a loving wife, 3 great kids, a meaningful job, and good finances? I feel a little sorry for you, not because of your melencholy nostalgia, but because you listen to Michigan football. It must have really hurt those last two years to lose to Ohio State, and to know that after 13 years of dominance the Wolverines are now the inferior team.
that's ok...gregario
Aug 26, 2003 12:17 PM
I don't live and die over whether UofM can beat OSU, although that is nice. I read in the paper that Michigan has more wins than any other college team. We have one more year of "Too-Far Navarre", hopefully we can take the Conference.
Mammaries are a funny thing....rwbadley
Aug 26, 2003 6:11 PM
Why can I remember my Dad giving me a box of raisins when I was three years old, but can't remember where I set my car keys ten minutes ago.

I agree about the seasons... sometimes all it takes is an aroma to trigger a memory.

The smell of fall takes me back to second grade, walking home from school; shuffling feet through piles of crispy, brown leaves.

Sometimes the memory is less artistic...Like the time I was in sixth grade at school. I attracted the attention of some poor naive third grader with a 'Here, Looka Here!' I pointed at my butt... 'closer, look here' Now the victim has his eyes just a foot from the mark... I grab his head by the hair, shove his face three inches from the area; and... Let One Rip! This was so insanely funny to me at the time, I think I laughed till I puked; it still cracks me up whenever I think on it. The poor kid struggling, the scream of disgust and agony...priceless.

The feeling in my gut when eyes encountered first love. It was a feeling of nausea, excitement and panic. If a bolt of lightning had struck me, it would have paled by comparison.

Very selective thing, the remembrances of times past.

Going to the reunion, one says 'remember this?' the other >uh, no< But, I remember this! Was it really the same?

Aug 27, 2003 3:39 AM
I think that when I'm 80 years old, I'll look back and see the most wonderful time of my life as right now, while my son is growing up. Nothing I've ever seen or done can remotely compare to the pure joy of seeing him walk for the first time; yelling "dada" and running to me when I come home now; repeating "spyduh" as he brings me his nursery rhymes book that begins with the "itsy bitsy spider"; or falling asleep in my arms before I put him to bed each night. I almost want to have a video camera running 24 hours a day so that I never forget anything. He is a pure angel sent to brighten the lives of my wife and me. Absolute pure joy.

Nearly all else is irrelevent trivia in comparison. Seasons pass quickly without a trace of thought, now. I realize that I'll likely find myself suddenly 80 years old and wondering how time passed so quickly.

True, savor each moment...rwbadley
Aug 27, 2003 7:01 AM
it goes sooo fast.

Now my son is seventeen, he has all sorts of things to do and is rarely home. Job, school, out with friends, etc... I need to make an appointment to see him.

I am glad we were able to do so many things together as he grew up. I hope I was always there for him when he needed it. Now that he is gone more often, I know the feeling of longing for his companionship.