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Lunchtime Hummer(29 posts)

Lunchtime Hummergregario
Jul 31, 2003 9:19 AM
No, not that kind of Hummer. So today I didn't bring a lunch so I decide to walk over to the local shopping strip (warning smug self-righteous tangent developing) and pick up some lunch and do a few other things. I work at a manufacturing facility that's set back off the road a little and it's probably a mile or so one way to the shopping strip across a five lane busy road. But, no worries, it has traffic lights and walk signals. So I go to Subway and have my sandwich, walk over to the bakery so buy a loaf of bread, go over to the Credit Union, which is across another busy road, to deposit a couple of checks, walk back to the Pharmacy to pick up a prescription for she who must be obeyed and what do I see? A Hummer sitting idling in front of a Wild Bird Center (feed the birds then gas them with exhaust?). This thing has a license plate that says 2BIG4U (no kidding - but just big enough for your fat adze), it has the two jerry cans strapped to the back in case there isn't another gas station for 50 miles and it's got 4 huge spotlights on top and of course it's clean enough to eat off of. It even has those faux bullet hole decals on it. I - can't - stand - it.

Now for the self righteous portion: I walked over there, had lunch, stopped at three other places and made it back to work with about 10 minutes to spare. Yet I see many of my co-workers get in their cars and drive over there. They're amazed that a person could actually walk.

By the way, Mick Jagger turned 60 the other day: "Hey, You, GET OFF OF MY LAWN!" I sound like a grumpy old man.
Pink hummer tools around my area.Alex-in-Evanston
Jul 31, 2003 9:47 AM
Perfect color for a hummer. If I owned one, it would definitely be pink.

Alex
I think yellow is a fitting color.Spoiler
Jul 31, 2003 10:56 AM
Aren't mentally challenged people supposed to ride around in a little yellow bus?
lunchtime hummer! lunchtime hummer! lunchtime hummer! (nm)JS Haiku Shop
Jul 31, 2003 10:06 AM
lunchtime hummer! lunchtime hummer! lunchtime hummer! (nm)gregario
Jul 31, 2003 10:22 AM
My productivity would drop due to my need to napPaulCL
Jul 31, 2003 11:08 AM
But I LIKE IT! My boss would understand that type of lunchtime hummer.
(hehe) ;-) nmDougSloan
Jul 31, 2003 10:28 AM
Doug!gregario
Jul 31, 2003 11:23 AM
you don't edit this post but delete my post below calling Hummer drivers idiots and latent homosexuals? Well, they are, so there! phhhhtttt!
reasonDougSloan
Jul 31, 2003 11:30 AM
Calling people names is a no-no. Innuendo is fine.

Doug
So,gregario
Jul 31, 2003 12:26 PM
I can't call an un-named, speaking in general terms, Hummer driver an idiot? Wow.

I can understand not calling anyone specifically an idiot, like "Joe Blow, you're an idiot." But also ruling out saying "Wife beaters are idiots"?

Oh wait, I DID call a hummer driver an idiot and said I didn't care if he was offended. You see, you deleted my original message so I couldn't remember what was so bad about it. It's coming back to me now. Whoops.

Ok, that guy who posted who is a Hummer driver is NOT an idiot, but in general Hummer drivers are idiots. ;)
So,DougSloan
Jul 31, 2003 12:32 PM
It seemed to me that you were calling a particular driver who chimed in not only an idiot, but something about a "homosexual" as well. Even if generalized, that's a problem.

Doug
No, he was latent.gregario
Jul 31, 2003 12:47 PM
com'on Doug, lighten up!

:)
what you don't understandDougSloan
Jul 31, 2003 1:19 PM
What you may not understand is that there are rules, and as well other people here who may be offended. We do our best to make everyone happy; what I personally believe doesn't matter much.

Doug
geez Doug, turn your anti-sarcasm filter off!(nm)gregario
Jul 31, 2003 3:56 PM
multiple Hummer sightings ...sacheson
Jul 31, 2003 10:34 AM
My wife and I live in an area of Denver that is right in between the Denver Broncos training facility and where some of the Broncos (read Donkeys) live. When we discovered the Broncos train from 9 to 5, we started making it a point to be off the road in the 8 - 9 AM and 5 - 6 PM time frame since that's the time they are coming to, or leaving the facility. I swear, every one of these guys have Hummers, Excursions, Escallades, etc. And they're ALL the biggest bunch of a-hole drivers you've ever been around.

Anyway, the other day Amanda forgot to take some checks we needed to deposit to work with her, so she drove home after work, got the checks, and went to the bank. Unfortunately, she happened to be coming back by the training facility at 5:30 or so and somehow managed to get our little Subaru wagon in the middle of a Hummer H2 caravan. She talked about pulling up to a stop light and having one of these things beside her ... and how comforable she felt knowing some strung out, steroid popping meat head was driving 4 tons of jap-car smashing iron. The extra nice 26" high polished rims were nearly the size of the Suby. It was pretty funny to listen to her recreate the episode ... and from the proof read I just gave this post, a lot funnier than reading it. ;-)

Here's some shots of comparable Hummers ...

http://www.cardomain.com/member_pages/view_page.pl?page_id=341134&make_type_query=make%3DHummer&model_brand_query=model%3DH2&tree=Hummer%20H2

http://www.cardomain.com/member_pages/view_page.pl?page_id=268579&make_type_query=make%3DHummer&model_brand_query=model%3DH2&tree=Hummer%20H2
LOL strung out, steroid popping meat head LOL nmJS Haiku Shop
Jul 31, 2003 10:45 AM
Here, too--easily five or six a day (nm)cory
Jul 31, 2003 1:59 PM
Stupid Hummer upgrade....asphalt assault
Jul 31, 2003 12:37 PM
Saw some yahoo a coupla' days ago running around Chicago in a H1 with low profile road tires and what must have been 21" chromed-out wheels.

I'm sure the lower rolling resistance will improve fuel economy and acceleration...duh.
Hummers, actuallyDougSloan
Jul 31, 2003 2:50 PM
Actually, the H2 Hummers are just Suburbans with different bodies. So, if you condemn them, to be fair and consistent, you need to also condemn Suburbans, Yukon XLs, full sized pickups, Excursions, vans, etc., all of similar size, right?

Doug
I'd have to look up the exact specs ...Humma Hah
Jul 31, 2003 4:54 PM
... but I'm pretty sure the H2 is wider. I'm absolutely sure the H1 is. That width is one of the things I'm most concerned about as a cyclist.

As for the Suburban, little known fact, but that thing has been an oversized beast for years. I think it is larger than the Expedition, and the Excursion was Ford's attempt to build something in same size class.

My wife and I own an Explorer ... we were not given a choice in the matter and would not have bought it, but her mother GAVE the silly thing to us. I feel embarrassed to drive it, but it does get an honest 24 mph highway. With the wheels and luggage rack removed, I believe it would fit inside the cargo compartment of an Excursion or Suburban.

Any of these, bought and used for a reasonable purpose, meets my approval. I would estimate that's less than 10% of the vehicles of this class that are on the roads.
Not much differencemickey-mac
Jul 31, 2003 7:37 PM
They're all obscenely large if you ask me:

http://www.edmunds.com/apps/nvc/edmunds/VehicleComparison;jsessionid=1pdOvEucaGmAg15beFZ4o10vNc3su106kIzMx4Wct4seGCAH7EqO!1966804575?styleid=100078077&styleid=100099823&styleid=100076427&refid=&maxvehicles=5&op=3&tab=specs
Shoot, I'll condemn 'em all. Thanks for the chance...cory
Jul 31, 2003 8:33 PM
For what it's worth, at McQueen High School in Reno that whole class of vehicles, when driven by boys, is known to the girls as "Compensators." Try keeping a straight face when you tell your daughter THAT'S in poor taste...
"compensators"?DougSloan
Aug 1, 2003 6:07 AM
Aren't small, but powerful, sports cars (Corvette, Ferrari, Porsche) considered "compensators", too? My understanding is that the common trait is the expense, not the size. (Or is it the power?) Seems to me that the "compensator" label is really more about ridicule due to envy than anything else (even though my base instincts tend to agree).

Doug
I think ...sacheson
Jul 31, 2003 8:36 PM
... if one has a justifiable reason for owning such a large vehicle, I don't see a problem having one. Examples (including, but not limited to): farm use, construction use, having a hobby that requires one to haul "stuff". In Colorado, several Hot Shot (forest fire fighter) units in the area use Excursions. I personally hate the Excursion, but what a perfect use for it! More power to them!

Simply getting an obnixiously large vehicle for selfish / superficial reasons is absurd, and in my opinion, people should be ridiculed (not revered) for doing so.
justificationsDougSloan
Aug 1, 2003 6:10 AM
So, does each driver need to display his or her stated justification on the exterior of the vehicle to enable them to drive them without ridicule? Also, do they need several vehicles, so that even if justified, they can drive it only when actually necessary (sorry, no lumber in the back of that pickup right now, so you can't drive it)? Seems a bit much to ask, but without doing so, we might cast aspersions unjustifiably.

Doug
don't be ridiculous.sacheson
Aug 1, 2003 10:26 AM
I never said we should make our justifications public, I didn't say anyone should suffer ill repurcussions for their actions - nor did I extend anything past MY THOUGHTS.

I think it's a responsibility issue. We, as Americans, are so wrapped up in our ego and the perception that we want to extend to others, we consume in excess. One way to appear wealthy is to drive a high-status vehicle. At this time, those vehicles are the SUV and large truck types.

Since the ego-centric actions of those who uselessly drive these things is at least partially a result of societal accpetance, maybe the course of action to lessen the allure of these beasts is to make those who drive them a little shameful of their decision. If the perception of driving such a consumptive vehicle is not as great ... or if the perception of driving more ecologically sound (correction: less ecologically destructive) vehicles is increased, decisions might be swayed.

Basically, I think the person who goes and buys a Hummer H2 and puts 26" rims and low-profile tires on it is a freaking idiot. They're never going to use the vehicle for anything more than a "HEY - LOOK AT ME!" pimp wagon. And I think they deserve a little jesting for that decision. Afterall, (again, in my opinion) this person is a root cause of our increasing dependence on fossil fuels.

Conversely, I'm also proud to live in a place where vehicles like that are available so people who really will use them have the opportunity to buy them.

Again, these are my thoughts AND I think it's a purely an individuals responsibility to justify their vehicles ... they should just be prepared for my finger pointing an laughing when I see them cruisin' down the street in their anatomy-compensating image toy.
I forgot to add ...sacheson
Aug 1, 2003 10:29 AM
... thanks for the obnoxious jump to the Orwellian conclusions, though! Very humorous!
but I'm ridiculous all the time ;-) nmDougSloan
Aug 1, 2003 12:40 PM
Well yeah ...sacheson
Aug 1, 2003 2:05 PM
... you DO ride bikes. 'Sha