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Co-worker Question(11 posts)

Co-worker Questionjrm
Jul 20, 2003 2:35 PM
Last week one co-worker suggested that her, another girl and a guy and i (guy) go hiking up in tahoe. strictly platonic. When the trip was first pieced together it seemed that the consensus was that the trip would be a day trip. That was cool with me.

Then, near quitting time on the last day of my work week (thursday-9/80 schedule)without saying anything to me other than is this ok? the whole plan changed. Instead of a day trip the trip turned into a two day gig with one night in a cabin outside tahoe.

Well to make a long story short i bailed on the trip. But in doing so i didnt pawn off any additional obligation to anyone else who was going. Plain and simple i wanted to ride, install a ceiling fan and clean out the garage instead, and told um that. Theyre like Oh john this and that.

I have the feeling that im going to get shlt for bailing from the others come monday. And it should be added that these same folks have bailed on social events too. But none this planned or requiring a stayover.

How can i handle the situation so as not to alientate myself from inclusion in future outings or these people as friends? did i fock up by not sucking it up and going in order to play along? HELP
I think that I'd take the pro-active approach.Spoke Wrench
Jul 20, 2003 3:17 PM
I'd want to be the one to bring up the subject. I'd ask how they enjoyed the trip. Tell them that you were very much looking forward to it when you thought it was only going to be one day, but had other things you wanted to get done and didn't feel like you could afford the whole weekend.

If you wait for them to bring it up, you're likely to be put on the defensive and the same story will sound wimpy.
I have a similar problem53T
Jul 20, 2003 3:23 PM
The girls at work lust after my bod. They are constantly tring to lure me into the country to seduce me. What should I do, please help me, here they come again, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
Somehow I doubt that will be a problem for you. (nm)Spoke Wrench
Jul 20, 2003 4:31 PM
53T I like you more all the time :DCARBON110
Jul 20, 2003 5:02 PM
The above recomendation on being proactive is good advice. Resolving conflict and confrontation,at one time a key fundamental survival charecteristic for social cohesion and business alike,is now a highly unusual "talent". As for you 53T...you just call me and I will be happy to accompany you to the country with your co-workers....however, if you feel like you should not attend, I am confident I can handle the situation :P
Thanks for being there for me. (nm)53T
Jul 21, 2003 9:25 AM
You turned down 'doublemint twins' in Tahoe?rwbadley
Jul 21, 2003 9:23 AM
Maybe they were trying to take the relationship to the 'next level'. Tahoe is a great place to go hiking, and if they had a cabin lined up it could have been a great time. Bottle of wine, can o' sardines and thou...

Maybe they wanted to do a little playful group thing. Maybe you missed out on a good opportunity that was handed to you on a silver platter. Are these gals possible girlfriends? or any chance of it?

What's a little consensual amongst friends? Kobe Bryant can tell you all about that... uh...

I think I might have tried to go, depending on circumstances. You played the 'got to stay home and wash my hair' card. Now all you can do is try to ease back into the situation with easygoing friendliness and 'sorry, I'll try to make it next time' sort of thing.

BTW, I got to give ya a bit of a ribbing on this one ;-) I might have stayed home too, but...
re: Co-worker Question: Chapter IIjrm
Jul 21, 2003 11:28 AM
Yeah i asked all of um how the weekend was and i got about two words out of um. now its the cold shoulder treatment.
Personally, I wouldn't sweat it.94Nole
Jul 21, 2003 11:38 AM
I think you did the right thing and it is plenty selfish of them to cold shoulder you after they totally changed the game mid-stream.

I'll certainly pick who I spend my nights with.
re: Co-worker Question: Chapter IImohair_chair
Jul 21, 2003 12:41 PM
That could also mean that it wasn't any fun, wasn't as much fun as expected, or maybe something happened that ruined an otherwise good time (i.e., a line was crossed). In fact, I'll bet this is the case, because it's pretty juvenile that they would give you the cold shoulder when you ask them how it was. They should want to tell you all about it so they can rub into your face how much fun it was and what a loser you were for not going.

Best way to fix this is for you to plan the next event. If you do the planning, they might reasonably expect that you'll go.
re: i dont want to read into it to muchjrm
Jul 21, 2003 1:21 PM
sure is quiet around though....bbbaaahhhhaaaahhhhaaa. Thanks for the advice.