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Poll: Do you know your neighbors? Are they friends?(11 posts)

Poll: Do you know your neighbors? Are they friends?94Nole
Jun 19, 2003 4:55 AM
As I ponder the differences in today's society v. the society of my upbringing, it becomes easier to see why we are how we are. Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to go nowhere. We rarely speak because we are scared someone has other motives for being nice. When we do speak, they rarely speak back.

Are your neighbors your friends? Or are they merely aquaintances who you trust enough to watch your house, pick up your mail, and feed, water and walk your pets so that Fido doesn't have to go to jail when you are gone?
only if they stay out of my apple treesmohair_chair
Jun 19, 2003 6:37 AM
Don't ask me what that means.

I do know my neighbors, and they all seem to be nice, respectable people. All are couples, and two have children. As far as I know, none of them are those "nice, quiet boys" who turn out to be serial killers, although they probably think that about me, being unmarried and childless, and having shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

What's strange, and more than a little embarrassing, is that I can't remember most of their names! We say hi and talk when we meet, but usually I can't remember the name of the person I'm talking to. I had an excuse when I first moved in, but it's been a year and a half, so I don't really know how to ask anymore!

As far as trust, yes, I trust them. Some of these people have lived in the neighborhood for 20 years. My neighbors will watch my cat and take in my mail when I go to France.
friendsPaulCL
Jun 19, 2003 6:44 AM
We live on a cul-de-sac with seven homes. Among these homes are 15 kids under the age of 13, plus three more age 17 -23 (babysitters). My kids are 11,8, & 4. We socialize together on and off our own street. We are all friends. I would social with these people even if they weren't neighbors. We have parties together - two per year (christmas and summer block party). And yes, I do rely on them to get the mail, water the plants, watch my house when I'm on vacation.

My wife and I have joked that even if we won the lottery we wouldn't move. Why? Because the people are more important than the home you live in. We just couldn't get better neighbors. We are very fortunate. Besides, one of 'em still has some of my tools!
I have threesomes with my neighbor's wifeSpoiler
Jun 19, 2003 7:06 AM
Me, my neighbor's wife Candy, and my telescope.
can't pick your neighbors or your familyJS Haiku Shop
Jun 19, 2003 7:15 AM
perhaps my outlook in general is very pessimistic, but i'm not really impressed with people, in general.

"why not make the best of it?", you ask. i'm all for being polite and civil, and respecting others' rights, space, privacy, and property. but, i'm not about weather, ball sports, or gossip smalltalk, and i don't want to watch your kids, tend your yard, coddle your pet, get your mail, or know your alarm code. this is why we have babysitters, lawn care firms, dog walkers/kennels, "hold mail" requests, and security companies.

you hand-pick your friends, and your life partner. you're "stuck" with everyone else. family, without exception. neighbors and coworkers, to a practical extent. some of your friends might also happen to be family members, though this is not always the case. IMHO family = association through birth, which is not an automatic wild card.

as you may tell i've not had good experience with neighbors or family.

/rant

ps. forget everything i wrote if you have beer and are willing to share.
We're friendly with neighbors, but ...PdxMark
Jun 19, 2003 9:57 AM
not really friends with most of them. It seems that kids make it easier for neighbors to connect. Our kids & their kids are out front playing, so everyone tends to be out front a bit more.

The neighborhood is 70+ years old, so lots are much narrower than modern lot sizes. That makes it easier to see/get to know neighbors. The old neighborhood was 90+ years old and had some lots that were just 33 feet wide. We all knew each other there.
re: Poll: Do you know your neighbors? Are they friends?jrm
Jun 19, 2003 12:32 PM
Mostly aqaintances that i trust and they trust me. But what a bunch of characters. Got a felon roadie next door, a gun toting lesbian PE teacher across the way, an IT nerd cave dweller next door and a out patient psycho woman too.

Oh shlt, i wonder what they think of me...
Intrusivefiltersweep
Jun 20, 2003 7:15 AM
I live in a 50s neighborhood that is populated with young couples (us) and ORIGINAL home owners. They are retiring. We are in starter homes. We are about the ages of their kids...

Thank god I live on a corner lot. The neighbors we actually share property with are crazy. We have beautiful (if not messy) huge trees- an elm and cottonwood that they have hinted that we should cut down. They were kind enough to obtain estimates for us. They are the sorts that are extremely negative about everything ("nothing will grow in your flower garden" "the soil is too sandy" "the rabbits will eat everything" etc...).

We also have rather adventurous landscaping that we inherited from the previous owners. Actually it is very well done, but it offends our neighbors and their one-shrub backyard mentality. The only time they have anything positive to say to us is when we are tearing something up in the backyard.

Finally, we "share" a fence. It appears to be our fence, since the wood is consistant with the rest of our fence, however, they saw fit to paint the side of the fence that faces their house (a different color then the rest of the fence). It is not a big deal... They have even gone so far as to tell me that we should replace the fence with a no-maintence (ie. PLASTIC) fence, and that the fence "really" is 7" on THEIR side of the property line (they claim to have had it surveyed). As far as I'm concerned, they can tear it up and replace it with whatever they want if that is the case, rather than this false generosity that they "don't mind" and its "no big deal" that it is on their property (in my book that does make it theirs).

I'm just scratching the surface... my wife goes crazy over the neighbors' intrusiveness. It is the sort of neighborhood where we were invited to a block meeting (because they REALLY REALLY want to attract more young people) and they had BINGO (!!!) on the agenda?!

We've made friends with a young lawyer across the street (and comiserated with her). Our neighbor "lady" apparently had asked her to move her car when she parked it in front of her house... she said she wanted to park it on her lawn when she said that... this is a CITY. The guys behind us are pretty cool (funny thing is, everyone goes out of their way to say how "nice" this house full of "single men" is... like it is a euphemism or something).

Neighbors watch our house? OH YEAH, they watch our house... they watch our every move!
I feel your pain. I don't know what it is about the 60-something crowdKristin
Jun 20, 2003 10:13 AM
I've lived in several condominium communities where the majority of homeowners were retired folks. Oh my goodness are they ever nosey!! They watch me when I walk to my car and when I come home in the evening. They are always peaking out their windows. One night I came home at 9pm and smelled gass in the hallway. It was strong enough to give me a headache within a few minutes. I knocked on all the doors and the only neighbor who answered (they were all home) was the only other young person on our floor. So I called the fire department. An 85 year old woman had bumped her stove and had the gas running for hours. The crazy thing was, she was ripped that someone had called the FPD and she yelled at the fireman as he tried to resolve the problem.

I know some of my neighbors from my new complex and they're nice. This is my first home, so I'm more involved. The 2nd night was was there, my upstairs neighbor, Mark, greeted me. He's my nicest neighbor. He wanted to make sure his TV and music wouldn't be too loud. We chat from time to time. One other neighbor likes to crank Celine Dion and isn't too friendly. My downstairs neighbors are nice, but mostly we just nod to each other. A good number of the couples in my building are 20 year old newlyweds.
Celine Dion??????????ClydeTri
Jun 20, 2003 10:35 AM
Now there is an argument for capital punishment! :~)
re: Poll: Do you know your neighbors? Are they friends?Matt Britter
Jun 20, 2003 11:55 AM
Our direct neighbors (next door & across the street) I do consider Friends. I go to movies with the two guy neighbors and hang out with one as he is building a hotrod in his garage.
Though my wife only really "likes" one of the neighbors wifes. The one my wife is not fond of is a stay at home mom. While the other, like my wife has a job and understands the time pressures an employeer presents. Funny this thread came up as we were discussing the stay at home neighbors lack of concideration of my wifes job. She has started a womens group which first was on a Sunday then moved to a Tuesday morning. They have even started a newletter and email for the neighbors (about 10 couples). A daily email on cleaning tips for the home was going around for about 2 weeks, until my wife respond "... quit talking about things you should hire to be done." (Probably why the get together got changed). My wife thinks if she got time for a newletter she should get a real job, as her kids are all in school.

The neighborhood is great as most people walk, jog, etc at night, so we have plenty of interaction. I do feel we are very luckly with our current group of neighbors as we have some real winners in the past!

Here is a great spinoff, "The neighbor from hell stories"
-mb