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The Male Rules...(18 posts)

The Male Rules...ClydeTri
May 29, 2003 5:33 AM
The Rules >From The Male Side...

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

2. Sunday equals sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

3. Crying is blackmail.

4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say

5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

9. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it

13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

20. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster

21. You have enough clothes.

22. You have too many shoes.

23. Pizza is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

24. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Now you've really done it mister!eschelon
May 29, 2003 6:33 AM
I really need to rant about women too...and the most prominent women in my life happens to be my mother and I can't really stand the b#tch because she really is the typical female that I tend to run across time after time.

I think Jack Nicholeson said it best in the movie "As Good As it Gets"...a admiring woman of Jack's author character asks him how he was able to write about how a women felt so accurately...Jack looks at the women in annoyance and says "I take a man, and take away reason and accountability...then you have a women." Too true. The women that I have run across in my life including my mother always blame their problems and misbehavior on the know..."it's not my fault! made me do it! Wah wah wah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
missed the pointDougSloan
Jun 2, 2003 6:56 AM
The whole point of the movie was that Jack's character was wrong in his prejudices, and once he figured that out he was a better, more likeable, person.

I've seen this beforemoneyman
May 29, 2003 6:33 AM
And I still think it is insulting, and not the least bit funny. As the father of two daughters, I would have severe misgivings about the intentions of young men towards my daughters if they subscribed to any of this, or passed this along as funny.

This should have stayed in your email in box.

me thinks.....ClydeTri
May 29, 2003 6:54 AM
you got up on the wrong side of the bed today. I respect women more than I respect most men. It is called HUMOR, you have to learn to laugh at things. Men and women are differnt, and those differnces can make for some humor if you arent an old grouch, it doesnt mean you dont respect women.
It's tastelessmoneyman
May 29, 2003 7:16 AM
My sense of humor is just fine, thank you. This isn't funny. Differences can be funny, but this list doesn't talk about differences - it is all about putting women down.

People used to make jokes about Black people, then justified it by saying "Some of my best friends are Black" to make it alright. It wasn't then and it isn't now.

Maybe you should ask yourself why you posted that.

Not arguing taste or mysogony, but there's also a femalesn69
May 29, 2003 7:26 AM
version. In fact, I think it was posted here a while back.
To be fairmoneyman
May 29, 2003 7:39 AM
I didn't like that either. In fact, I find things that are insulting to large groups of people, simply because of their membership in that group, to be distasteful.

Fair pun intended.sn69
May 29, 2003 7:47 AM
Are you Jerry Springer?eschelon
May 29, 2003 8:41 AM
You must either be A. an ultra liberal that believes all minorities including women deserve to be put on a higher pedestal than you because you have some complex about being an Anglo-Saxon white male, or B. have been living in some hole for the last few thousand years and don't get the relevance of this humorous thread because you probably get pussy-whipped everytime some women smiles at you.
Thanks for the intelligent discoursemoneyman
May 29, 2003 9:06 AM
You have affirmed my beliefs in you.

intelligent discourse or not....sctri
May 30, 2003 2:05 PM
regardless of how you view his opinions about the issue, "pussy wiped" isnt a term that wreaks of respect, maturity or intellegence. More over, since you brought up women looking, I doubt that any self-respecting woman would even give you a look, with that extrodinary abillity to express yourself that you demonstrate...

Oh really?KG 361
Jun 1, 2003 3:06 PM
I got the same e-mail-from my sister-in-law. I work primarily with women. None of them were offended. They all laughed. Perhaps you should get the stick out of you arse and learn that you can actually laugh at yourself and others-there is no harm intended, it is mearly pointing out differences in us. BTW-I have 2 daughters, too.
Are you nude?53T
May 29, 2003 7:54 AM
I read the list. While some of the items reflect the lack of intellegnce of the author, I found none to be degrading to women.

The behaviors that the author objects to in the piece are objectionable by any objective measure. For instance, complaining about the toilet seat being down. There is no room for a complaint in a rational society, since nobody complains when it is left down, despite the parrallel nature of the percieved incovenience.

Men truly believe that what women wear is just fine, we believe that what men wear is just fine too, but men never ask our opinions. If you really have issues with what your wife wears, then you really have issues, seek councelling.

Rational people do not appreciate complaints that are not accompanied by requests for help. Such complaints are conterproductive. Productive people of both genders do not appreciate these complaints, although both genders are open to requests from help from their loved ones. It is specific to the female gender, and some males with gender disorders to seek out their spose and complain about a situation without seeking help to resolve the issue.

The men who will be dating your dughters subscribe to all of these items, or will lie about it. Get used to it.
Thanks for filling in the blanksmoneyman
May 29, 2003 7:59 AM
You must get along with women real well. Do you, ClydeTri and eschelon all belong to the same club?

"Get used to it" is a great way to communicate with someone who who has a concern about a behavior. A real dialogue-opener.

Are you serious?Steve98501
May 29, 2003 1:55 PM
I don't think it's any more right for men to put down women than for women to put down men. However, there are stereotypical differences among men and women, and I think that's what this list is exploiting for the sake of humor. Actually, I think I saw this list once, and it went on for "100 reasons why it's great to be a man."

I also have two young adult daughters, and I think they would find part of the list funny, and part inane. You're entitled to your opinion, of course, as is everyone else. Getting uptight over this list seems, well, a little uptight.

I'm partial to #s 16 and 23. ;-) nmsn69
May 29, 2003 7:05 AM
some of this is typical male sexist bullsh!tJS Haiku Shop
May 29, 2003 7:57 AM
and the rest is funny as heck.

of course i also enjoy the "yes or no are suitable answers to most questions", but that's not always the case. beleive it or not, i'm not one for big verbal conversation. just get to the point, and let me get back to staring mindlessly at the wall and mouth-breathing.

I don't mind putting up the toilet seat, i can easily find out what mauve looks like, and i'm pretty sure the non-offensive points in this list are applicable to both males and females. here are my favs. of course the first one (#3) depends on the person to whom it relates, though my extensive (LOL) experience has proven it time and time again, with few exceptions. that last one is classic.

3. Crying is (usually) blackmail.

4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.