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Which board regular would you name president of(46 posts)

Which board regular would you name president ofOldEdScott
May 21, 2003 11:04 AM
the U.S., if were in your power to do so, a la the Supreme Court last time? (Nothing especially legal or constitutinal about it, you just give yourself the power and you DO it).

This is a thought expweriment. Don't react just ideologically. Think about the person as well as the politics. Imagine your life if that were that person in charge for 4/8 years. Imagine life in the country.

I cast my vote for sn69/Scott. I like his positive energy, and the way lots of things interest him. He seems to have an open mind. And he's aware politically without being political. Seems like the kind of energetic all American smart-guy-without-an-agenda we need to get this country out of its partisan doldrums.
May 21, 2003 11:18 AM
If he can speak half as well as he can write, we'd be in for some very fun press conferences and sound bites. Reason without rampant ideology. Sadly, he hasn't deserted yet, so he's not yet qualified to be President.
May 21, 2003 11:19 AM
I trust Dinosaur (Ed Custer), even though he's never disclosed much of his politics. Trust is more important to me.

sn69 - It's morning again in America!mohair_chair
May 21, 2003 11:23 AM
He'd get my vote.

Let's also not forget that he wouldn't just ride in the pilot seat when he does the carrier landing photo op. He'd trap the plane! Probably catapult off the deck when he was done, too.
Puh-leez! At the start of my dictatorial reign of foolishness,sn69
May 21, 2003 11:41 AM
I would first set about making decrees to satisfy that which I think is fundamentally important to the well-being of our nation. Namely:
1. Equal representation between Dunkin' Dougnuts and Krispy Kreme. Sometimes you gotta have that boston cream, and sometimes you simply need a dozen glazed all to yourself.
2. No more Campy v Shimano flame wars. And bring back Suntour.
3. Lugs and 531 tubes will be required on IM Hawaii bikes.
4. Clothing will be optional there. Except for Tinley--he'll have to race in a tux with tails (but it can be made from Coolmax...I'm not heartless you know).
5. Cats will officially be designated the other, other white meat.
6. We WILL take Baja and British Columbia by force.
7. We will force France to take New Orleans back.
8. Liver and onions will be prohibited. Gross. So will Celine Dion. Double gross.
9. Carne Asada will be available at the White House 24/7.
10. 2nd, 6th, and 8th Fleets, the 10th Mountain Division, and all LANTFLT ARG's and MEU's will secure France only to ensure that Cipo gets to ride in the TdF. Then we'll leave.
11. No more reality television except for one final show where Simon will be skinned alive.
12. Anybody who kills a cyclist with a motor vehilce under circumstances that suggest road rage (IOW, NOT a pure accident) shall be charged with murder, not manslaughter.
13. Beer and doughnuts will be added to the food pyramid.
14. All Air Force pilots will have to sing "I'm a little teapot" on national television twice a year. ...Except for their fighter guys...they'll have to sing it quarterly.
15. "Fandago," "LA Story," "Spartacus," "The Sand Pebbles," "The Sons of Katie Elder," "Blazing Saddles," "The Princess Bride," "This is Spinal Tap," "The Last Waltz," "Empire of the Sun," "The Shawshank Redemption," "Play Misty For Me," and "Something Wicked This Way Comes" will be mandatory viewing for all graduating high schoolers.
16. All NFL teams will have to stay in their current location and cannot move without my dictatorial decree. Are you listening, Chargers?!
17. Dennis Leary will host Monday Night Football.
18. Robin Williams will call Major League Baseball and will join Phil L. for cycling on OLN.
19. At the start of every Supreme Court session, the justices will have to sing at least one Supremes' song.
20. All Congressmen and Senators will have to spend one day a year being a street mime in their districts/states.

See?! Dontcha feel foolish now, Ed?
May 21, 2003 11:43 AM
have cold chills. I KNEW you were presidential timber!
At least I left out Campy mountain comps!sn69
May 21, 2003 11:45 AM
No one here is qualified.sacheson
May 21, 2003 1:34 PM
I mean, what ever the political affiliation, we all have integrity. We couldn't possibly think about being President!

But, if I have to answer I think a DougSloan/czardonic Pres/VP would be a good ticket. They are both pretty informed, intelligent, and would balance each other out.
correction. I think sn69 it is.sacheson
May 21, 2003 1:39 PM
He referenced the greatest cinimatec masterpiece of our generation for required viewing - 'This is Spinal Tap' (or is that Spinal Pap?)

Anyone that gives credit to the Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer genius trio deserves to "rule" the greatest country in the world.
correction. I think sn69 it is.BikeViking
May 22, 2003 10:57 AM
Since seeing that cinematic masterpiece, I only buy guitar amps that go to "11".

And I gave up playing drums. Didn't want to explode. nmsn69
May 22, 2003 12:35 PM
Actually, I agree on all points.sn69
May 21, 2003 1:40 PM
The union (read: marriage) could work well in either direction. I'd also vote for OldEd for Sec. of State. Those which he cannot sway with his country eloquence, he'll drink to death.
Can I be Interior Secretary?mohair_chair
May 21, 2003 1:53 PM
No more closing trails to mountain bikers! No more rangers with radar guns. I'll even use the 101st Division to take back Marin County. Plus, prisoners will do trail maintenance.
It would be an honor to serve youOldEdScott
May 22, 2003 5:22 AM
in either capacity, Mr. President. Eloquence. Or drinking.
Sprito Prez, JS Haiku VPjs5280
May 21, 2003 2:20 PM
What a long, strange, (and fun) 4 years it would be!
Sorry. Calling your bluff.moneyman
May 21, 2003 2:56 PM
This is really an attempted coup for your sorry old self, but you know that bringing up the question and then nominating yourself looks a little like a Central American primary. The REAL reason you want Scotty is because then you would get invited to the White House to drink sour mash out of a fruit jar on the South Lawn while Marine One waited to take you to the closest NASCAR race.

And vote for someone who willingly lives in New Orleans (even though the Navy says he has to, but he COULD retire)? I don't think that shold even be considered.

I'm afraid it's you, Ed. (nm)cory
May 21, 2003 3:29 PM
I dunno, anybody that wants to show women to roses...rwbadley
May 21, 2003 4:18 PM
has oval office scandal written all over him! ;-)

I think a couple of panty waist cycle riders in office would be begging for a coup. Carry heavy artillery and you may be OK.

I vote for myself, cuz I'll show this country the meaning of 'not having relations with that woman'. No, - it was that one, that one, and that one;-)

If elected, I promise State dinners for RBR once a week. A velodrome in back of the White House. Specially designed, banked, smooth asphalt trails in every city, just for cyclists... with no stop signs allowed.

Vote for me, and I promise: Bigger paychecks, smaller bills, more time to ride, less pain, more happiness, better looking women, smarter kids, stronger men, saltier snacks, sweeter cakes, .10c/gal gas, perfect weather for everybody, better flowers, tastier broccoli, no more death, and no more taxes!

No, OldEd should be reserved to act as adopted First Brother...The Walrus
May 21, 2003 5:47 PM
...every Jimmy Carter needs a brother Billy:-)
LiveSteam. We've never given a fascist a real shot. (nm)retro
May 21, 2003 3:33 PM
Gee thanks, I think !? Do ya' think maybe Old Ed would serve ...Live Steam
May 21, 2003 4:55 PM
bourbon and nuts to celebrate the occasion :O) And you thought I was going to say serve with me :O) Fascist hey? My first decree would be to expel all panty wastes from the country - Democrats too!
sn69 seems a most worthy choice, but only ifThe Walrus
May 21, 2003 4:49 PM
he agrees unconditionally to appoint MB1 and Miss M co-Secretaries of a new Cabinet-level Dept. of (Alternative) Transportation, and Lonefrontranger as Minister-without-Portfolio. Now, what to do about the other Cabinet posts?

Oh, Scott--you've also gotta promise to ban Shimano imports until they bring back thumb shifters....
With or without the fake index clicking?!sn69
May 21, 2003 5:54 PM
I whole-heartedly agree with your cabinet recommendations, although I'd have to add Kristin as my spiritual advisor, JS as Sec. of Communications and Haiku, Mickey as the Branch Head/Directorate of Music and Fermented Hop and Barley Beverages, Czar as the Social Conscience of the Nation, etc.....

Then again, Moneyman makes a grand point about my sanity or potential lack thereof. I'm only on year 12, though, so retirement isn't an option yet. Damn!
As a purist, I say "Damn the clicks!"The Walrus
May 21, 2003 6:17 PM
Friction-only was good enough for me when I was young, and it's good enough now...and who really needs more than 7 cogs?

Might also think about getting HEW or some other pantywaist bureaucracy to get a grant for Doug, so he can open Sloan's Home for Wayward Bianchis...
all I want to do is bicycleDougSloan
May 21, 2003 7:43 PM
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

You say black I say white
You say bark I say bite
You say shark I say hey man
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like Star Wars
You say Rolls I say Royce
You say God give me a choice
You say Lord I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan
Frankenstein or Superman
All I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my
Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah!
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah
On your marks get set go
Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
Bicycle bicycle bicyI want to ride my bicycle
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
Bicycle race

You say coke I say caine
You say John I say Wayne
Hot dog I say cool it man
I don't wanna be the President of America
You say smile I say cheese
Cartier I say please
Income tax I say Jesus
I don't wanna be a candidate
For Vietnam or Watergate

Cos all I want to do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like
Thanks Freddie Mercury and rest in peace. nmrwbadley
May 21, 2003 8:11 PM
Scott for prez...Jon Billheimer
May 21, 2003 9:31 PM
...only if he promises to get a UN resolution before invading France:)- For once, American imperialism "gone good". Oh yeah, one OTHER thing: no tariffs on Canadian beer! Ban the beef if you will, but keep the beer flowing for god's sake. And make that old reprobate Old Ed secretary of HEW. That way he can put bourbon at the top of the food pyramid!
Fake indexing (I'll try to add board-appropriate content):OldEdScott
May 22, 2003 5:45 AM
Several months ago I scored some NOS Suntour Power Ratchet shifters. I'd always heard they were the bee's knees. So one evening, while I was reflecting on how the Supreme Court illegaly stole the election from Gore, I installed them on my Miyata.

As my thoughts turned to the fundamental, arrogant unfairness of the continuing Bush tax cuts, I moved the installed shifter back and forth and noticed what Scott refers to above as 'fake clicks' -- fake in the sense that they're not indexing clicks, they're ratchet clicks.

For the past couple of months, even during the ill-conceived and still-likely-disastrous war in Iraq, I did a lot of riding with the Power Ratchets.

This morning, as I was pulling my jackboots on in an attempt to be currently stylish (OH MY GOD, NAZI REFERENCE, this is not FUNNY it's OFFENSIVE!) it suddenly occured to me that I really don't like the ratchety mechanism in the Power Ratchets. I prefer pure, smooth, unadulterated friction.

But my question is: Campy Ergo's left shifter has a zillion clicks too. Is it a ratchet like the Power Ratchet?
Well, Sir, I'd offer Grant's advice from Riv's website,sn69
May 22, 2003 6:45 AM
both in terms of the ratchet/fake indexing as well as your reluctance to grant (no pun intended) any measure of legitimacy to an administration that you are profoundly at odds with. Ignore it. Incidentally, I knew you were a closet Suntour man.

Where did you manage to find cleated jackboots, by the way? I looked at Nashbar, Perf, CC, Excel, Jenson and Cambria but I couldn't find any. Do you think Cipo might start racing in them? (Probably only if they're made in zebra stripes and world champion colors, huh....)

"Still-likely-disasterous." Yes, but not in the way that you and your leftie crewe conceive. For that matter, it's also an issue that eludes Steam and his rightie posse. Disaster in this case refers more to the immediate crisis that is subtlely upon us with an extraordinarily substantial bill to pay for both contingency campaigns in the greater war that's still being fought. What campaigns do I speak of? Afghanistan (still hot) and Iraq (still simmering). The war is not over, not by a long shot, and these two larger battles/campaigns have drained our financial resources within DOD to the breaking point.

I have the pleasure and honor of knowing a young Marine SGT with the 227th Batallion out of Yuma. His "squadron" (a ground support AC & R element) along with countless others actually got placed on food rationing throughout the recent conflict. Friends on the Saipan, the Constellation, the Lincoln, the Nimitz, the Roosevelt and based ashore with HCS-5 all reported much the same. Why the food rationing, you ask? Simple. Not enough money to buy more. really does come down to simplistic terms such as that.

A couple of discussion threads below is a linked article about a supposed trillion smackers unaccounted for within DOD. That doesn't surprise me, although I'd bet the real figure is far less. PPBS--the DOD's Planning, Programming and Budgetting System--is the last of McNamara's Brain Trust's legacies that still plague us. That system, still legislatively enforced, combined with the contractual laws that govern all aquisition programs (from fighters to tanks to hand tools to boots), allow programs to be bid well beyond the reasonable expectations of cost and often drag them out for decades. Remember, it's not DOD who decides upon a program--all we look at is the specification evaluation and field operability. It's the House and the Senate who approve the programs, and often it's them who keep defunct programs alive well beyond any measure of cost benefit. Need proof? I've got one word fer ya: Osprey.

That issue alone is a dangerous path that we walk on a yearly basis (actually forcast out in four year intervals known as the POM). When contingency operations emerge, the uniformed budgeteers go into panic mode, taxing funded/approved programs internally in order to buy food, fuel, bullets and bombs while knowing full-well that any supplements approved by our legislators will take months to arrive and will be nibbled at by every legislator who gets an individual chop on the bill. For example, the $50bill. appropriated for this mess is already providing a slew of new roads and schools and weenie stands in a staggering number of districts. Not much will actually filter into the DOD contingency accounts when all is said and done.

In the meantime, our internal accounts have dwindled into the "overdrawn" areas, and the individual services' budgeteers are scrambling to keep things running on a month to month basis while JCS J-4 (the DOD's logistics and support directorate) is scrambling to ensure that we can pay for future endeavors as well. The potential and the reality of the situation are staggering.

Last month I participated in a large forum with the Vice Chief of Naval Operations (second in charge). He said that the other vice chiefs and the unified commanders (theater commanders formerly known as theater CINCs) were flabber
May 22, 2003 6:46 AM
Last month I participated in a large forum with the Vice Chief of Naval Operations (second in charge). He said that the other vice chiefs and the unified commanders (theater commanders formerly known as theater CINCs) were flabbergasted at the staggering implications of the budget crisis upon us and the resultant ramifications of the stop-gap measures to offset the crisis. They are at wit's end, getting no support from above and trying everything and anything to keep the corporation solvent and operationally capable. Closer to home that means that the Carrier Strike Groups (a new Rumsie term) and the Amphibious Ready Groups are going to stay at sea almost indefinitely. It is cheaper to keep the large deck ships like carriers and amphibs at sea because when they return from a standard 6 month deployment, they require roughly 15 months of heavy industrial yard work to rebuild them (deployment beats the snot out of equipment). If the big decks are at sea, the small ships (cruisers, destroyers, frigates, support ships) are out there too. Thus, the standard cycle of 6 months on deployment, 12-15 months in the yards, 6 months of work-ups, 6 months on deployment is being replaced with 10 months on deployment, 1-2 months in port, 10-12 months on deployment.... Oof. What the uniformed budgeteers are being forced to do is to proxy current savings by defering much-needed maintenance and refurb into the distant future (two POM cycles from now). It's a case of robbing the future to pay for today, only when this bill comes due, the amount will be staggering since the equipment will be almost unserviceable.

The Vice Chief was asked rather bluntly about the impact to personnel and quality of life for the Sailors and Marines trapped in this cycle. He shook his head sadly with genuine grief on his face and muttered something about SecDef not caring. Therein lies the hidden, REAL cost--our people are getting rode hard and put away wet. Watch the personnel crisis bloom into a full-fledged emergency over the next 10 years. Patriotism can only account for so much, but when you're spending nearly three years of every three year tour of duty deployed, you most likely won't stay in for another hitch.

So, while you look to the greater ramifications of the global impact of these actions and the potential chilling effects they have on America's global image and foreign relations, don't forget to cast your gaze closer to home. There's trouble...right here in River City.....

Yes, I've seen "The Music Man." No, I don't have manhood issues with that.

As for the clicking? Make like our leaders--left or right--ignore it. After all, if we don't acknowledge the problem then we don't have a problem. Right?
Outstanding! I like the way you introduced a controllingOldEdScott
May 22, 2003 7:05 AM
metaphor (ignore the clicking) then returned to it to make your point at the end! First rate!

FWIW, my definition of 'disaster' in Iraq includes what you're saying here. The cost in both cash and readiness is staggering, and no one, politically, is going to want to admit to it. So the carriers float ...

Meanwhile, the Afghan War continues, with every likelihood it will get bigger and require even more from us. I've alway been horrifically amused at those who've said/thought/insisted for more than a year now that the Afghan War is won, over, just a matter of a little bitty mop-up and peacekeeping.

MEANWHILE, the political situation in the Middle East is even more completely screwed than ever. Al Qaeda is -- gasp!shock! -- not done for after all. But on a happier note, we're right now hammering out a final tax cut compromise that will address the most critical situation facing the nation right now: Onerous taxes on dividends and capital gains!

Jackboots require toeclips and straps, by the way, and slotted TA cleats. You will learn ...
Me wuz a joornalism mager.sn69
May 22, 2003 7:12 AM
Much like Indigo Montoya following Visilli's advice, I too know to return to the beginning.

"Aye may not be a smart may-an, but I know what one ee-iz."
Oh, and I'm WAY out of the closet on SuntourOldEdScott
May 22, 2003 7:11 AM
It wasn't until last year, when a bad debt was unexpectedly paid off and I had $2000 in hand with no place to put it, that I bought a 'modern' bike fitted with the Evil Empire's STI bits. I've ridden and touted Suntour for 30 years, and if I could find a paid of NOS Command Shifters, that Ultegra STI crap would be parts-binned for sure ...
Clicks or no clicks... shifting is for sissiesPdxMark
May 22, 2003 8:38 AM
As a long-time (one week) fixed gear rider, I have to say that all this click/friction talk sounds like SUV drivers complaining about the meager-sized parking spaces being IMPOSED on them by do-gooder, small car liberals. Wake-up! Smell the coffee (because on the USS Lincon there's not enough to drink). Pedals are meant to be pedaled. Coasting is the ultimate free lunch, or 1/2 lunch for the guys in Afgahnistan.

OldEd... For the price of just that Imperial Ultegra group, you could get a classic steel Taiwanese Bianchi fixie. Battleship grey with no water bottle mounts, so you can ride in deprived Solidarity with our troops.
Well, speaking of sissies ...OldEdScott
May 22, 2003 8:47 AM
I borrowed a friend's fixie in Florida last winter, and giggled like a schoolgirl the whole time I was riding it. You take off on the damn thing and it's just like -- WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA, here we GOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Great fun.

Afraid we're just too hilly here in the Kentucky Knobs for such a thing though. My knees are hanging by a thread, literally, anyway ...
Great insight... Here in River City...rwbadley
May 22, 2003 7:35 AM
We are being kept amused with the constant flux within the Terror Alert system, and 'to tax or not to tax'. We are distracted by a multitude of minutia to prevent our gaze being affixed on the bigger picture. The sad thing is; even if brought into full view, many will not see the bigger picture because they forgot to bring their glasses.

You have illuminated a dark corner that desperately needs more light cast upon. It has been a hallmark of this administration (IMO) to look out to the future about as far as lunchtime. I have maintained and still do so, that we are being sold down the river to a higher extent than at any time in the past. Unfortunately, this may be more unavoidable as time goes on, as we will (and have) become victim of the vicious spiral...

Thanks for the balanced and thought provoking post sn69, you are indeed worthy of consideration for the office! Now, about those skeletons in your closet...;-)

Actually, it's all of the administrations.sn69
May 22, 2003 7:42 AM
Clinton increased deployment rates over those reflected during the Cold War decades (including Vietnam) by 62%. At the same time, his administration zealously enacted the force-wide draw down penned by the guy who was the SecDef under Bush Sr. and who now also "holds office."

The point isn't to drag this on ad nasuem. The point (aside from the one on my head) is to shed some light on the larger issue WRT the war, it's campaigns and the costs associated with it.

Readiness sucked, equipment was hopeless broken and morale was in the pooper by '01. Anger, patriotism and professionalism has kept us working since 9-11, but those facets of momentum are starting to fade. You can only ride a horse for so long before he needs to either take a break or get fed. We ain't getting fed; stand by for the break.

Skeletons? I once had to play Frosty the Snowman for a gradeschool play, and the costume my mom made me had me in white pantyhose. I still bear the scars.......
The real skeleton might be if you had played...rwbadley
May 22, 2003 7:53 AM
Frostina the Snow Queen!
If you really were running for officeOldEdScott
May 22, 2003 8:02 AM
it would be well within the acceptable rules of political discourse to refer to you as 'an admitted former cross-dresser' who 'still bears the scars' of childhood abuse.

Could get sketchy.
hey sn69, would you mind if i posted this on another site?(nm)rufus
May 22, 2003 7:58 AM
As long as you're not an NCIS or DIA double-agent,sn69
May 22, 2003 9:47 AM
I don't care all that much. I don't think the Frosty the Snowman thing can do that much harm to me.

re: Which board regular would you name president ofBikeViking
May 22, 2003 10:52 AM
Name just ONE of the NUMEROUS post-election recounts that showed Al Gore would have won! There were NONE!!!

The Supreme Court simply told Florida that if they were going to do a re-count, they had to do the whole state, not just Democratic-inclined districts.

You and Paul Begala just need to get over the fact that Gore LOST!!!!!!!


P.S. Have a safe weekend!! :o)
I WONDERED when someone would react to that! ;-) nmOldEdScott
May 22, 2003 11:07 AM
I'm feeling "fished in"!!! LoL nmBikeViking
May 22, 2003 12:33 PM
Well me, of course!eyebob
May 23, 2003 5:51 AM
Can't you see how a independent-thinking, athiestic, vegetarian fits the mold of all that's successful in current US politics?

Tolerance is not a one way street.

Depends... are you lacto-ovo or vegan?! ;-)~ nmsn69
May 23, 2003 6:15 AM