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OldEdScott: Time to Wakeup from Your Hangover(20 posts)

OldEdScott: Time to Wakeup from Your HangoverJon Billheimer
May 4, 2003 10:06 AM
Sooo Ed,

Were you down there at Churchill Downs when the no-name gelding blew away all the blue-blood pedigrees and their fancy-ass jockeys??? And if you were were you sober enough to take in the race or were you, in true Kentucky tradition, totally pissed out of your panty-waste mind?:)-

Too bad you couldn't have culturally deprived Scott with you to show him what a real down-home good time is all about. The Manischewitz-kid would never be the same again:)-
re: OldEdScott: Time to Wakeup from Your Hangoversn69
May 5, 2003 4:43 AM

It's 7:30 on Monday, and I'm trudging my way through a splendiforous hangover from JazzFest. Way too much Abita Amber and Big Foot yesterday combined with crawfish sacks, crawfish bread, white chocolate bread pudding, andouille strudel, crawfish monica, etc.

Oh, and my ears are still ringing from Buddy Guy's 1.5 hour set where he wailed with the heart and soul of a blues prophet.

I'm just glad I'm not on the flight schedule today.
Whaa ?? Hmmmph? Whazzat?? Oh, sheeeeeeut. Ow.OldEdScott
May 5, 2003 6:07 AM
Lemme sleep just one more day.
As Hunter Thompson (also a Louisville native) once saidOldEdScott
May 5, 2003 6:11 AM
"The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved." I doubt Young Scott, for all his worldliness, is quite prepared for the true extent of the Horror.
May 5, 2003 6:26 AM
Not hardly my old friend. Whilst I cannot claim drunken debauchery in some of your once and former haunts in certain former "enemies" in SE Asia, I have puked and crapped my way through most of the Middle East/SW Asia, the Malaysian penninsula, Japan and that most beer sodden of nations...Australia. Worldliness? No; moronic Naval Aviator on liberty? Yup, guilty as charged.

You want a REAL party? Try Perth on ANZAC Day. Ohmyf-in'gawd. Took me the rest of the transit through the Indian Ocean to recover in '97.
May 5, 2003 6:59 AM
I loved it. I think. They tell me I loved it. Jesus GOD. Every day is Derby Day in Australia. Apparently.
May 5, 2003 7:06 AM
So many stories from two successive deployments that both made two stops there.... I would probably mortally offend Kristin and any of our other female posters.

Amazing place though....
May 5, 2003 6:29 AM
A man walked into bar in Kentucky (hills, I assume).

The bartender said, "You're not from around here, are you?"

The man, "No, I'm from Pennsylvania."

The bartender said, "What do you do?"

Man, "Why, I'm a taxidermist."

Bartender, "What the heck is that?"

Man, "I mount dead animals."

Bartender, "It's ok boys, he's one of us!"
KentuckyLive Steam
May 5, 2003 6:36 AM
Tiger Woods was traveling through rural Kentucky in his new Mercedes. He stopped at a small gas station and asked the mechanic if he could get his oil changed.
"Why sure," the mechanic said, not seeming to recognize the golf star.

About thirty minutes later the oil change is complete. As Tiger started to back the car out, the mechanic noticed some buttons on the dashboard and asked Tiger what they were for.

Tiger looked down at the tees on his dash and says, "Those are what I set my balls on."

The old man replied, "Boy oh Boy, those Germans think of everything, don't they!"
Watch it, fellasOldEdScott
May 5, 2003 7:02 AM
As a Kentuckian-American, I must now inform you I take grave offense at these ethnic slurs disguised as 'humor.' I have Guns, Dawgs, Horses and a Hangover, and I'm in an excellent mood to shoot, bite or trample something.
it's worse than you thinkDougSloan
May 5, 2003 8:35 AM
You're sounding awfully Republican to me.

Well, you've never heard me argue against theOldEdScott
May 5, 2003 9:11 AM
2nd Amendment. Other than that, I'm not sure how Dawgs, horses, hangovers and violence are Republican. Where I come from, they're pretty much non-partisan vices.
compare Bush and Gore, and you can see what I mean :-) nmDougSloan
May 5, 2003 9:24 AM
I've always said, as a redneck, Al Gore is a poseur. nmOldEdScott
May 5, 2003 9:38 AM
I can relate. But what appetizer is served w/the mint julip?128
May 5, 2003 10:52 AM
Mixed up some julips for the race but couldn't figure out exactly what to serve with mint julips. I just don't really understand mint, unless it's in chewing gum. I went with a shrimp cocktail ring, went down allright, but just didn't have any authentic, inland feeling to it. It felt wrong.

What do you Kentucky headhunters serve with mint julips? Sompin' greasy I bet. I used Jim Beam, how's that sit with the homies?? And how does that Derby crowd look so smart at 5:00 when I know they tipped their first minty sometime around 9:00. Natty riff raff!
Ach! You served FOOD with mint julips? Mistake number one.OldEdScott
May 5, 2003 11:03 AM
I SUPPOSE if you have to serve something, you should have served lamb. Lamb's the only dish I know that goes well with mint/bourbon. But that would be a sheer act of desperation.

Frankly, I despise mint julips, as does 99 percent of the home crowd. It's really just a tourist thing, something to shuck the Yankees with. We chuckle inwardly when they pay 10 bucks for one of the wretched things, then make that awful face.

"My GOD, you people DRINK this crap??"

"Yes SUH, Massah Yankee, mawnin', noon an' night."

Beam, by the way, is perfectly acceptable everyday Bourbon hereabouts.

As for the crowd looking fresh after a day of heavy drinking: We're well practiced. Just remember, every Kentuckian you meet, at any hour of the day or night, is almost certainly sh!tfaced drunk, and not just Derby week either.

That's why we're so FRIENDLY.
As a damn Yankee, I always serve food w/cocktails,napkins too128
May 5, 2003 11:21 AM
LAMB!! Yow! "Dahahon't eat me. I'm jahahst a baby!" Sounds about right though, I was thinking ribs actually.

So what do the home team be drinkin', Toby.

I will have you know, that my Julips, industrial grade to begin with, diligently progressed to a rather pure state of bourbon and mint remnant. They just got better and more pure as we approched post time, till finally, it all made sense.
The REAL double-secret julip recipe, usedOldEdScott
May 6, 2003 5:05 AM
by native Kentuckians back in the kitchen while the Yankees grimace and sputter out front:

Here's what you need:

FRESH mint. Fresh picked if possible, out beside your stoop.

CONFECTIONERS sugar, Lots of it.

FRESHLY crushed ice. All sparkly. No cubes.

Any decent bourbon.

A sterling julip cup.

Now for the tricky part:

Throw away the mint, the sugar and the ice. Pour bourbon in julip cup and drink.
LOL. I have a similar martini recipe:128
May 6, 2003 11:50 AM
similar set up and ends with: Then wave the bottle of gin near the vermouth, pour.
pork rinds nmDougSloan
May 5, 2003 12:08 PM