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I can dispell this as hokum(35 posts)

I can dispell this as hokumClydeTri
Mar 26, 2003 12:59 PM
Trust me..the information in the below is pure drivel.
We use dolphins. Why not monkeys? (nm)czardonic
Mar 26, 2003 1:02 PM
We use dolphins to find mines. This suggests monkeys ...PdxMark
Mar 26, 2003 1:16 PM
would be used to detonate them... It would be kinda hard on the monkeys...
re: I can dispell this as hokumFredrico
Mar 26, 2003 1:08 PM
That must be a spinoff from a story on the news last night about the US navy or marines, using seals who would swim ahead of landing craft and show where the mines were under the water.
Right. Dolphins. (nm)Fredrico
Mar 26, 2003 1:09 PM
Which kind of seals? nmKristin
Mar 26, 2003 1:44 PM
Flipper - Atlantic Bottlenose DolphinPdxMark
Mar 26, 2003 1:57 PM
Wild photo! nmsn69
Mar 26, 2003 2:01 PM
tee monkies flingin' poo at Iraqis. woo hoo. nmsn69
Mar 26, 2003 1:08 PM
or maybe ill-tempered sea bass with laser beams on thier headssn69
Mar 26, 2003 1:26 PM
Did you skip lunch today? ; ) nm128
Mar 26, 2003 1:42 PM
I think we could all use a laugh to two these days. nmsn69
Mar 26, 2003 2:05 PM
Yes fish! Know bombs! (The Sushi Wars)128
Mar 27, 2003 5:00 AM
You're right, and did give me a laugh. Cheers.
perhaps squirrels would be a better choicemohair_chair
Mar 26, 2003 1:10 PM
They sound like pretty dangerous creatures to me!
Dang you beat me!! nmPdxMark
Mar 26, 2003 1:16 PM
+they have a suicide fetish anyway. What is W/those rodents??128
Mar 26, 2003 1:36 PM
Smart enough to extract bird seed from Fort Knox, but show them a rolling wheel and they just snap. They should have to wear helmets too.
No helmets - I would hate the crunch when I went over them nmPdxMark
Mar 26, 2003 1:54 PM
I doubt they are heavy enough to trip the mines..DougSloan
Mar 26, 2003 2:44 PM
Maybe put as weight belt on them, or teach them to jump up and down
We have really fat squirrels... use ours nmPdxMark
Mar 26, 2003 2:55 PM
but that's the point!mohair_chair
Mar 26, 2003 3:21 PM
Hey, these aren't suicide missions. The furry rats aren't supposed to trip the mines, they're just supposed to find them! Do you know how hard it is to train a squirrel to find mines?
Bury a nut with each mine. Squirrels find them.. no training nmPdxMark
Mar 26, 2003 3:25 PM
Mar 26, 2003 3:31 PM
I figured we'd just unleash about 10,000 of them and aim them at a potential mine field. After they detonate all the mines, we can drive through safely.
re: I can dispell this as hokumAlpedhuez55
Mar 26, 2003 1:30 PM
At least the Dolphins do not set them off. THey detect them and warn the sailors. They are also well trained and cared for.

It is hard to say how effective the monkies would be. I think we have other more efficient ways of detecting and detonating mines without harming people or animals. Though if they were flying monkies, they would be a welcom addition. THey would add to the cool factor of the forces ;)

Mike Y.
re: I can dispell this as hokumClydeTri
Mar 26, 2003 1:57 PM
those flying monkeys are indigenous to Kansas arent they?
Must be because there's no evolution there :) nmPdxMark
Mar 26, 2003 2:00 PM
But the really weird part about this is . . . .cory
Mar 26, 2003 4:41 PM
. . . that if word gets out, people who have no trouble at all saying we can commit our sons and daughters in a war will say we shouldn't commit monkeys to detonate the mines.
real question..where is PETA???? nmClydeTri
Mar 26, 2003 4:59 PM
Too busy comparing Chicken Farms to the Holocaust nmAlpedhuez55
Mar 26, 2003 6:22 PM
I don't see that as weird. Monkeys can't consent to serve. (nm)czardonic
Mar 26, 2003 5:23 PM
Does a monkey count as a Commercial Off The Shelf initiative?sn69
Mar 26, 2003 5:30 PM
I suppose it would.czardonic
Mar 26, 2003 6:44 PM
I'm not at all familiar with COTS (I googled it), but it sounds like just the sort of "business wisdom" that I would not want applied to a life or death situation.

I can't imagine anyone betting their life or limbs on the reliability of some Morrocan trained monkey.
Now...a Tunisian-trained monkey...that would be different.sn69
Mar 26, 2003 6:56 PM
This whole monkey thing cracks me up. I can just imagine the crack squad of Army combat engineers taking a troop of monkeys to the demarcation line of the minefield, only to have the little beasties start whackin' off, humping each other, grooming the soldiers and flingin' poo. It makes for a hysterical image and one that will utterly befuddle the Iraqis. Then again, maybe that's the point....

COTS is/was/will be the catchphrase for easy, quick-fix commerical solutions to simple military acquisition projects. While it doesn't work for things like "why does this Osprey thingie keep crashing," it does however work quite nicely to offset the Congressionally-mandated PPBS process that results in $9,000 hammers that can withstand 33g's. It's good for things like computers, light bulbs, word processors, toungue depressers, and, as we might soon discover, monkies.

Did you, by chance, google Tigers of Terra/Families of Altered Wars? There's a little bit there, but not enough.
Mar 27, 2003 10:57 AM
Looks pretty damn cool, though everything pre-1997 seems to be out of print. Might be able to track some of it down in the local shops (advantages of a college town). Thanks for the tip.
Mar 27, 2003 4:07 PM
If you can't find them at your lcs (local comic store), let me know. Perhaps I can send you some...of course, I'll have to find them!
Only part of the story...Hoopes of glory
Mar 27, 2003 4:28 AM
The military are actually using trained local ants, sympathetic to Western ideology, to carry dolphins into suspected mine fields. The monkeys are then throwing portions of rye bread smeared with herring paste into the danger area, causing the Dolphins to lunge after them, thus detonating the pressure-activated mines.

Harsh on the Dolphins, but hey - tuna. The Ants and most of the monkeys (aside from the ones that get hit by large chunks of dolphin raining down) can be used on repeat missions.

It's a new ant-i mine technique.