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My Thanks! (and Eulogy Report)(4 posts)

My Thanks! (and Eulogy Report)Dale Brigham
Feb 28, 2003 8:28 AM
Dear Friends:

I want to thank all of you who gave me words of advice and solice regarding the recent passing of my sister, Elaine. Her memorial service took place two weeks ago in Lubbock, TX, my family's hometown. During the memorial service, I presented a rememberance, for which several of your recommendations and suggestions were invaluable.

In brief, I opened with a short poem that used the "candle that burns shortest, burns brightest" metaphor, threw in a bit of Emerson ("not the length of life, but the depth of life"), then went on to describe what my sister means to me and how we shared good times on the bike, among other things. I closed with "High Flight," the poem that ends with the oft-cited lines, "I've...put out my hand, and touched the face of God."

My heartfelt thanks go out especially to Doug Sloan, Mohair Chair, Bill, Len J, BT (eyebob), and JS5280, all of whom gave me sound advice ("speak from the heart"), many fine suggestions on quotes and poems, and kind words of consolation.

IMHO, we have a precious community on this board of kind and caring persons, which exists because of our shared love of cycling. While we have many differing opinions and strong feelings that we often express vigorously (e.g., our views on Iraq), I hope we all still remember that we are brothers and sisters with a common bond. As for me, I'd be thrilled to share a ride and a table with any of you.

Again, my thanks to all. Have a great weekend, Y'all!

Dale
You know, I thought about you the other day......eyebob
Feb 28, 2003 9:35 AM
I was helping to tow a teenager's car out of a snowbank (I came along right after it happened and I happened to have some tow-ropes)and I thought about some of the ideas that were offered to you by others and I thought, gee, I hope that went as well as it could have. But I also recall how thankful you were to get the suggestions and it reminded me that one of the reasons that I offered my two cents is because throughout my life people have done so for me. Reciprocation, you see. So, as I'm knee deep in a snow bank hooking up the tow-ropes, I'm thinking, Bob (that's me) why did you stop? What compelled you to do this? I don't necessarily believe that altruism in it's truest form may really exist. Yet I stopped. Fascinating topic really. Why did I chip in with my thoughts for you? I suppose that somewhere in me, I'm trying to come to terms with the idea that this whole big crazy world has some level of interconnectedness. You sister is related to me who in turn is related to the kid who's car is in the snowbank. So, after I pull the kid out, he asks what he can do for me, and I say "just do the same for someone else someday" (a lesson that my Dad taught me), hoping that someday he'll stop to help someone who needs it.

Again, sorry for your loss. Take a long ride for her (and you.

Bob
Pass it ForwardDale Brigham
Feb 28, 2003 11:20 AM
Bob:

Thanks again for your kind words and astute insights. I do think of my sister when I ride, and I'm taking along some of her items and her photo with me on my brevets and (hopefully) PBP this year. I was able to tell her before her death that we (my wife and my fellow mid-MO randonneur friends) would dedicate this PBP to her, and that she would be with us along the route. She loved France, so I think she'll feel right at home.

Bob, you are proof that altruism exists -- you helped someone for no immediate personal gain. All you asked was for the recipient of your largess to do the same for someone else. Now a sociobiologist might attribute that to increasing the survivablity of the tribe's DNA sequences, and an economist ("an accountant, but without the personality") might say that there was some future financial benefit that would accrue to the market and, subsequently, you due to your act of kindness. I don't cotton to either of those explanations.

I'm darn near an atheist on bad days and only an agnostic on good ones (though I'm all for living as close to Jesus' teachings as I can get), but I see your actions as the best evidence of God, as I perceive Her/Him/The Whole Shebang, that I see in this life. That, and that you are a really great guy!

Again, thanks, Bob!

Dale
Glad to hear it went well.......Len J
Feb 28, 2003 7:01 PM
I too was thinking of you the other day.

As in most things in life, we all know deep down what the right thing to do is......it's just hard sometimes to get quiet enough to listen. We all just reminded you of what you already knew.

I hope that you got as many blessings out of your eulogy as your audience.

With you in spirit.

Len