|good children's books?||DougSloan|
Jan 28, 2003 9:12 AM
Jan 28, 2003 11:39 AM
|Funny too, but sick.
I think each and everyone of the 'original' versions are in one of my children's room right now.
So...what was Ernie going to do to Elmo?? On second thought, I don't want to know.
|Dr. Seuss' "Tongue Tangler"||Spoke Wrench|
Jan 28, 2003 11:40 AM
|A real litigator would read it out loud every night just to keep his tongue limber. Most lawyers could never manage to get through it even once.|
|my favorite bedtime tale...||mohair_chair|
Jan 28, 2003 11:48 AM
|Mr. Mike's Least-Loved Bedtime Tales
(from SNL 1977, Michael O'Donaghue and host Jodie Foster)
"One time, there was a little train who had to pull a giant load of scrap metal up the mountain. He had never pulled such a heavy load in his life, and so when he left the valley, his little wheels said, 'I hope I can. I hope I can. I hope I can. I hope I can.' But, before long, he picked up speed and his little wheels said, 'I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.' Soon, the little train was whizzing right up the mountain, and now the wheels said, 'I know I can! I know I can! I know I can! I know I can! Heart attack! Heart attack! Heart attack! Heart attack! Oh, my God, the pain! Oh, my God, the pain! Oh, my God, the pain! I left my pills in the roundhouse!! I left my pills in the roundhouse!!' And he died.
Now, normally, little Jodie, that would be the end of the story, but the little train was on the mountain - on an incline - and it began to roll backwards, slowly at first, of course.. but it got faster and faster, until he was just barreling down the mountain, his wheels just barely on the tracks.. of course, he didn't say anything this time, because he was dead. Now, in the valley, who should be sitting on the tracks - Freddy the Frog, and wouldn't you know? He's facing the wrong way, so he never sees the train coming at him at 180 miles an hour. Fortunately, Freddy hops off the tracks just in time, and the train misses him, hitting, instead, a school bus, killing 150 - no one over the age of 9. Now, when the state police arrive at the scene, one of them looks around at the carnage and grizzly mutilation spots and says, "You know, it's wrong that so many human beings should be dead, and this frog should still be alive. And so, they beat him to death with a softball bat. The end."
|begging for bad karma nm||JS Haiku Shop|
Jan 28, 2003 11:59 AM
|naw; it's National Sarcasm and Bad Humor Day nm||DougSloan|
Jan 28, 2003 12:07 PM
Jan 28, 2003 12:14 PM
|Illinois doesn't participate, though nm||DougSloan|
Jan 28, 2003 12:15 PM
|I thought it was Bush' State of the....oh, I see. heh heh. nm||rwbadley|
Jan 28, 2003 3:45 PM
|As a father of three||carnageasada|
Jan 28, 2003 1:11 PM
|who reads hundreds of children's books every year I've never laughed so hard. Sick. Sick. Sick. It reminds of tasteless pseudo Dr. Seuss titles my riding partner is always paraphrasing: "There's a Rocket in my Pocket, Horton Hires a Hoo."|| |