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Re: Waste management; a considered opinion....(2 posts)

Re: Waste management; a considered opinion....rwbadley
Nov 3, 2002 7:29 AM
As I made my third nightly stumbling way to the john for relief, a few thoughts came to mind concerning an earlier thread on the male styles of elimination.

Styles noted were the 'full frontal disrobe' (FFD) method, and the 'thru the fly' (TTF) method. Some may refer to the TTF as Peeking Pee-Wee.

Should you survive to maturity, these are some of the things you may look forward to.

1) Finding it: As we age we tend to lose muscle mass. Being as how our one eyed friend is a muscle, you may look forward to some 'shrinkage'. If the muscle gets regular exercise, the shrinkage may be forestalled. If you happen to be married, the prospects are grim.

This shrinkage can effect the method used in elimination. When young, two hands are generally needed to 'wield the lumber'. In later years, a tweezer and flashlight may be necessary.

Clothing style can also effect method choice. The current pants style among the generation Z crowd appears to be wearing the pants waist somewhere between the knees and ankles. This allows for easy 'over the top' elimination, with no pants touching required. The current style in the more mature set would be slacks worn with the waist approximately between the pectoral muscles and the neck.

This waist creep has not yet been fully explained, although speculation is it may be again related to marriage, and at some point the pants will be located over the ears as a defense mechanism.

2) Draining the system: Once drainage has begun, it should be noted that the TTF method will tend to hamper what will constitute 'full' flow amongst the mature crowd. Full flow being relative at this point. Being how the prostate has grown to the size of a cantalope, flow is not what it used to be. When younger, a stream eight to ten feet out may easily be obtained. In later years, just making it past your shoes is reason for bragging at the dinner table.

3) The Final Drip: The FFD method shows a distinct advantage here. Using the TTF method allows only a certain portion of the unit to be properly 'wrung out'. The specimen left in the nether regions is not adequately addressed. The FFD method allows for not just the usual 'two quick shakes' and off we go, but for the protracted endeavor of draining the complete system.

This system seems to become more extensive as we age. It seems that in later years 'the system' goes further back, and down; to where it needs to be drained to a place roughly between the scrotum and sphinchter. With time, this place may be located waste-high....on your back.

I hope this clarifies the process a bit, and will allow you to make an informed decision on your exit strategy.

RW
Thats great LOL nmBigburlymtnman
Nov 3, 2002 11:15 AM