|Another one bites the dust.( Long and sad)||look271|
Oct 17, 2002 9:13 AM
|On my way home from work last night (1215 am) I was flagged down by a young guy at the scene of an accident. I stopped to check it out. There were 3 young guys, early 20's, if that, laying in front of, beside, and in a wrecked car. Hit a utility pole, obviously going too fast and obviously intoxicated. The 1st 2 were unconsious, one lying next to the car, breathing into his own blood. The driver was trapped in the car. The young kid who stopped 1st went to call 911-he lived close. As I got my flashlight and was checking around, I found the 3rd kid, flat up against a tree. Didn't look good. Checked for a pulse. Nada. Not breathing. Getting cold. I don't need to say more. PLEASE! EVERYONE OUT THERE. WEAR YOUR SEATBELTS! DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE. NOT EVEN A LITTLE. If they had been wearing seatbelts, I know that the dead boy would at least had a chance. The other guys I'm sure would have been injured less. What a stupid waste. God bless the parents of them and may He take care of the two survivors.|
|That is sad, must've been hard to witness||Kristin|
Oct 17, 2002 9:29 AM
|I've been there. 16 years ago now. Except we didn't hit a telephone poll. We hit two mailboxes, followed by a rock wall (New England), which propelled us 20 feet upside down, then we landed (upside down) and slid for 50 feet before that tree stopped us. No seatbelts, but plenty of Schnapps and Steel, and adrenaline. It was Labor Day. Thankfully we all lived, but it was a close shave for two of us. I remember feeling scared as we cornered a couple times. You could tell the car was just barly holding on in the turns. But I didn't say anything. I didn't want to be laughed at for being a wuss. So I just gritting my teeth and hoped it'd be okay. It wasn't.
I can imagine its tough for parents to limit their childrens social activites; but its not responsible for teenagers to drive around on their own with no supervision. They've got all these new hormones racing through their bodies, tons of peer pressure and no maturity. They can't possibly be expected to act responsibly. Everyday my car is dodged by GT's & SUV's full of high schoolers who are usually flying. You're right, its a waiste.
|Probably my biggest fear as a parent......||Dave Hickey|
Oct 17, 2002 9:31 AM
|My oldest just turned 15. Most of his friends are now driving. I'm not worried about him drinking. I'm just worried about the stupid things teenage boys do behind the wheel.|
Oct 17, 2002 10:55 AM
|That sucks. I can't imagine losing my kid. I'd just die myself.
When I was a teen, I drove pretty well, but sometimes I'd get on country road and turn into Mario, but in cars that weren't quite up to the task (e.g., 1976 AMC station wagon). It's a miracle I never crashed, but then I never drank at all until after age 21. I was a nerd. My brother drank from age 16 or so, and totalled maybe 5 or 6 cars by age 21 (and several after that).
Others are right, though. The danger is not only keeping your kid driving safely, but keeping them out of other cars not being driven safely. I'd imagine that's about a parent's worst nightmare, losing one to a stupid traffic accident.
Oct 17, 2002 11:32 AM
|I too was a nerd. I didn't drink until I spent the summer just prior to my 21st birthday in Europe (beer and wine were cheaper than coca-cola). My 13 year old daughter is at the point where her classmates are dividing into groups based on social habits (e.g., drinkers, "sluts" (my daughter's term, not mine), nerds). It is clear to me that it is not too early to begin worrying. According to rumors (from my daughter) a girl in the class ahead of hers has slept with a 20 year old man. The boy next door, who is the same age as my daughter, recently was ejected from a school event because he was drunk, very drunk. As much as being a nerd has huge social costs, I hope that some of my nerd genes were passed to my children. Parental guidance and supervision can only go so far -- I am well aware of many families, including my own, where siblings were raised by the same parents and with the same standards but turned out very differently.|
|Nerd here, too. (worse-Jesus Freak)||look271|
Oct 17, 2002 11:54 AM
|Didn't drink 'till I was 21, too. I made up for it in a few short years. Had my share of scares, too. Hit a guard rail at who-knows-how-fast (85mph speedos' what a joke!), no seatbelt, of coarse no airbag, stone-cold drunk, and I walked away with a bruised knee. While I am far removed from my "JF" days, I gotta believe Someone was watching over me. I have 2 daughters, 10 and 8, and I can't imagine losing them. They are pretty naive right now, and I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible. About the nerd-genes? My brother (2 yrs younger) was a drug-addicted, cigarrette-smoking, beer drinking "bad boy". (He has since straightened up). My sister? Still a "JF". Go figure.|
|Nerd, but not naive .||czardonic|
Oct 17, 2002 12:24 PM
|I too never drank until I was 21 despite growing up in areas considered by many to be libertine. My parents didn't drink much, didn't smoke cigarettes, but almost certainly had tried pot at some point. Both acknowledged that these things were out there, but nethier disavowed them or tried to scare me away from trying them. They were just frank about the reasons that they did not do them, and most applied to me too eventually.
I think the major attraction of these things is the "taboo factor". Kids can't resist something that is prohibited to them. On the opposite side of the scale, some of the biggest pot smokers I know had parents who encouraged experimentation, presumaby to negate the taboo allure.
The point is, and if I may be so bold as to offer parenting advice to anyone: teach your kids to make reasoned, independant decisions in all aspects of their lives, and they will make the right choices when it comes to drinking and driving (and drugs, sex, etc.).
Oct 17, 2002 12:36 PM
|If you raise your kids right, HOPEFULLY they'll make the right choices. If they were a little older, I think that I would have taken them to the site of the accident. Seeing something like that would certainly stand out in their impressionable minds. Cruel, but effective. Screaming NO! NO! NO! Don't do that! Really doesn't work, IMHO. You lead by example.|
Oct 18, 2002 4:45 AM
|Almost as sad as losing a child||Spinchick|
Oct 18, 2002 3:33 PM
|is losing a sibling.
My sister died in a car crash when she was 17 (I was 19). No drinking involved, but had she been wearing a seatbelt she'd be alive today, enjoying her beautiful neices.
Two weeks ago she would have turned 36.
Oct 18, 2002 6:10 PM
|Sometimes life really s%$ks, doesn't it? Makes you want to enjoy every minute with family and friends. Life can be so short.....|
|My best friend.............||Len J|
Oct 19, 2002 6:33 PM
|was killed 2 weeks after we started college. We were in his car at around 2AM drunk. He fell asleep going around a turn at 60MPH straight into a tree. The steering wheel went through him. I walked away without a scratch.
He was an only child of a single parent mother. Believe me, it was the worst phone call I have ever had to make.
Senseless death still saddens 29 years later, My heart is with you.
Oct 17, 2002 1:35 PM
|I feel sorry for lots of parents. Some are great people and try their hardest for their kids... and the kids still turn out irresponsible and stupid.
My brother was always the "smart one" out of the two of us. He was praised by family members, etc, got straight A's, and I was the irresponsible trouble maker. He even got a college fund and I didn't. They just didn't think I'd make it! Around age 17, we somehow switched roles... his marks fell, started experimenting with drugs/partying, never ended up going to university... just moved away and works 3 minimum wage jobs to support his partying habbit, and here I am, paying my way through college, getting A's and taking care of myself... it's strange how some people can change so drastically.