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Dam Officals....(7 posts)

Dam Officals....Eager Beagle
Sep 26, 2002 12:49 AM
This is claimed to be an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries, by
the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan, USA .
Read the Department's letter, then read on to the defendant's response
.........

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mr. Ryan DeVries

MI 49339

Dear Mr. DeVries

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet
stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource
and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws,
annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
hazardous and cannot be permitted.

The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at
this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by
removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All
restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31 2002.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to
comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site
may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price

District Representative

Land and Water Management Division

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is the response sent back by the Defendant:

Dear Mr. Price,

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023 T11N R10W Sec. 20;

Montcalm County

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.

First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or Contractor
at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am the legal owner and a
couple of beavers are in the ( State unauthorized) process of constructing
and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my
Spring Pond.

While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any
place you choose.

I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam
skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
activity. My first dam question to you is:

Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers

or

Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam
request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the
Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those
other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we
LOL...bureaucracy at its worst! Thanks. nmMXL02
Sep 26, 2002 4:58 AM
Ooops - sorry, here's the rest of it.....Eager Beagle
Sep 26, 2002 5:02 AM
Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam
request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the
Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those
other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will
see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and
Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451
of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for
said so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during
a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural
occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.

In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
harassing them and calling their dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
contact the beavers - but if you are going to arrest them, they
obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter they being unable to
read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and
water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and
enjoy Spring Pond.

If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives
up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and
the environment (Beavers' Dams.)

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
1/31/2002? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there
will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears
are actually defecating in our woods.

I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and
leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver
dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam
office.
OK, so what happened to the dam beavers??PaulCL
Sep 26, 2002 5:27 AM
Did the dam state leave the dam beavers alone?
Did the dam beavers get dragged into dam court??
Did the dam beavers get arrested by the dam police??

If this is a real letter, I would love to shake the hand of the author. I would also like to shake the letter in the face of whomever filed the original complaint with the state.
That's hysterical. Good laugh. nmSintesi
Sep 26, 2002 5:33 AM
Never could get verificationSteve98501
Sep 26, 2002 12:31 PM
I first saw this letter circulating around the country over five or six years ago, probably not long after email became routine in offices. I work in natural resources, not in Michagan, and tried to discover if the story was real or not, but was never able to. Given the way government agencies function at times, one could imagine this actually happening, however. The story sure adds a bit of levity to a day in the office, tho.
re: Dam Officals....a true story???nodima
Sep 27, 2002 10:31 AM
According to snopes.com this is actually based in truth

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.htm