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my thoughts on food(33 posts)

my thoughts on foodJs Haiku Shop
Oct 25, 2001 7:42 AM
waffles and whipped cream
coffee black but add sugar
please pass the syrup

large supreme deep dish
but do hold the anchovies
small and hairy fish

creme filled, just baked fresh
topped with a chocolate glaze
sunday afternoon

i'd like two tacos
nacho supreme, extra fire
you get my order?

chocolate is not
simply add peanut butter
favorite ice cream

french toast makes me smile
intercontinental meal
and some sausage links

somebody say beer?
honor brew, haiku falls short
hey, i'm no shake-spear
Is this...Kristin
Oct 25, 2001 8:02 AM
...your post ride snack menu? Oops...if this is the non-cycling forum, are we allowed to mention bikes or rides?
My thoughts on beermickey-mac
Oct 25, 2001 8:09 AM
I love the taste of beer but don't love that bloated feeling I get after a few of them. I recently started drinking Belgian triple ales, which have an alcohol content of between 9 and 10.5%. I can catch a pretty firm buzz off two or three of these things and don't end up feeling like I've got the entire contents of a keg sloshing around in my stomach. Those Belgians make some good beer, cyclists, and french fries. And though I have no personal experience with them, they apparently make some pretty darn good firearms too.
Mine too...Spinchick
Oct 25, 2001 9:04 AM
I have the same complaint about beer. My husband started making his own beer a couple of years ago. First batch was okay, second was a little better. What he is able to make now will knock your socks off. Tastes much like english-style ale - pretty dark and best if served at cellar temp. But somehow not as filling. I think he goes with high hops and low malt.
good beer, cyclists and french fries. LOL...Js Haiku Shop
Oct 25, 2001 9:38 AM
are you ACTUALLY a lawyer? what kinda?
My thoughts on beer4bykn
Oct 25, 2001 12:20 PM
But if I don't drink a bunch, that throws my "just getting hydrated for tomorrow's ride, honey" out the window!
In fact, this weekend I think I'll get all hydrated and carbo loaded......urp ;-)
i've always read and heardJs Haiku Shop
Oct 25, 2001 12:23 PM
that you should start carbo loading and superhydrating several days in advance. :o)
re: my thoughts on foodDINOSAUR
Oct 25, 2001 2:53 PM
Yum yum, take a good look at this stuff now and enjoy. When you are old enough to get a senior citizens discount all this stuff goes by by out the window , adios, caput. Ever wonder why they have a senior citizens menu? Your metabolism changes when you grow older and you can't eat like Miss Piggy anymore. Pardon me while I close out and throw myself on the carpet and wail around for a while. The sweat is rolling off of my forehead onto my keyboard and I don't want to fry my computer.

Well O.K., I made a white lie, you can still indulge but think smaller portions and food as a fuel. Beer is still taboo for me though, I can't stop after just one beer. Beer was meant to be drunk in vast amounts followed by a lot of belching and arm farts.
Now I'm really crying...
i'll leave the belching and arm farts to my wife...Js Haiku Shop
Oct 26, 2001 4:49 AM
she's really much better at it than me. well, the belching at least. i've never figured out the arm farts thing. anyhow, correct--beer is made to be consumed in mass quantities. and no, i can't stop after the first seven, either.

:o)
i'll leave the belching and arm farts to my wife...DINOSAUR
Oct 26, 2001 8:24 AM
Sigh, back in my marathon running days I lived on beer and cheese nips and was as skinny as a rail. Farted a lot also, I could fart on command. Ah, those where the good old days...
speaking of fartingDog
Oct 26, 2001 9:58 AM
Hey, now you've really got my interest.

Back in the high school cross country days, we would have contests to see who could fart while running in the most consecutive steps (one fart each stride). At one point I held the record at something like 22.

"Emission control", we called it.
Good griefDINOSAUR
Oct 26, 2001 10:35 AM
What the Sam Hill have we come to? Now it's farts? Oh well, as long as we are on the subject. I was at a super market a couple of months ago. I really had to let loose and I didn't think anyone was around me. So I let her rip and I turned around and there was a lady standing behind me. I thought I would die. She just smiled. Come to think of it, I was in the beer section. Maybe just the thought gives me gas.

This is what happens to your mind when you can't ride. However, my rim is replaced and I will be riding tomorrow however as luck would have it rain is expected Sunday and Monday.

This site is neat. Not I can mutter about stuff not related to bikes.

Now I rediscovered working out on my Concept2 rowing machine listening to old rock music. The Who rocks....
great "release", huh?Dog
Oct 26, 2001 4:31 PM
Yes, I'm glad we have this non-cycling forum now. I never really anticipated we'd focus on farts, though. I'm laughing harder than I've laughed in weeks, not so much at what we are saying, but the fact we are saying it. We are supposed to be "grown up".

You really want to have fun and get in trouble with the wife at the same time? Try walking through the grocery store with her, rip one, and then look at her in horror. She'll kill you. I came really close one day to dying that way. It was pretty funny, though, even to her later.

Doug
great "release", huh?DINOSAUR
Oct 26, 2001 7:06 PM
Yes, it's good to talk about something else besides bicycling for a change.

I do fart in public when my wife is around. She becomes absolutely vivid.

I can't believe I've gone from talking about carbon fiber saddle rails to farts.

This is insane

(Fart)
...and now you're a lawyer. not such a big leap. ;-) nmJs Haiku Shop
Oct 26, 2001 11:02 AM
Farting?! Check this out.look271
Oct 26, 2001 1:20 PM
Send a personalized fart to your friends. Immediate gratification if you have dsl, cable modem, or a T-line:
http://www.createafart.com
Thanks for the new forum, Gregg.Spinchick
Oct 26, 2001 1:44 PM
There is just no end to the non-cycling talent that cyclists have.

TIMTBF
TIMTBF ?look271
Oct 26, 2001 1:52 PM
Sorry, a little slow today. Just adding to the already high level of intellectual discourse being bantered about. :-)
TIMTBF ?Spinchick
Oct 26, 2001 2:44 PM
"This is meant to be funny." I am going to start adding that when I make a joke that may not be obvious. I think I've been misunderstood here a couple of times. Too dry sometimes. More beer needed I guess.
No offense taken!look271
Oct 26, 2001 3:00 PM
Believe me, I know what it's like to be mis-read on this board. Have a beer for me, too.(I'm at work-they frown on things like drinking on the job! :-( )
The Truth Behind Gas: Belching, Farting, and Gendermickey-mac
Oct 26, 2001 10:23 AM
I. BELCHING: DURATION AND DECIBEL LEVEL

I have noticed that the loudest belchers tend to be women. In particular, two women I have known are capable of producing belches that would probaly register in the neighborhood of 90 db at 100' directly in front of them. This is in line with the minimum decibel level for a train's audible warning device (whistle) under federal regulations. Although their belches are very loud, they are also very short, indicating that this decibel level cannot be maintained for any appreciable time. Many men, on the other hand, are capable of producing burps of long duration at a lower decibel level. Some men are even capable of talking in burps. I have yet to observe a woman who has been able to do so. What conclusions can be drawn from these observations?
The Truth Behind Gas: Belching, Farting, and GenderDINOSAUR
Oct 26, 2001 10:47 AM
I don't know. My wife can talk an ear off a dead mule. It's real bad when she is talking to her 84 year old Italian mother on the phone. She has to go into another room and close the door. When we are in the car she talks so soft that I have to ask her to repeat everything. It drives me nuts. I think she is trying to drive me over the edge.

Why do women talk so much anyway? My wife takes a couple of minutes to get a point across. By the time she is finished I forget what she was talking about.

The worse is when my wife and 15 year old daughter are in the car at the same time. We drove 80 miles on the freeway once and I never said a word.

Maybe I need to drink more beer so I can give this some more thought...
i was going to add something, but i think you said it all. nmJs Haiku Shop
Oct 26, 2001 11:05 AM
Wellllllllllllll...Spinchick
Oct 26, 2001 12:43 PM
may I add here that my husband is the chatty one in our family? He has this uncanny ability to use 10 sentences to say something I can say in 4 words. And he does so, often. Not only that, he gesticulates wildly and often breaks things while trying to tell me something. It is for this reason that I generally do the driving. And yes, beer is definetely the answer (except when I'm driving of course).

BTW Dinosaur, your sense of humor is showing! I guess I never noticed it before but you're hilarious.

No comment on the gross bodily functions...
Wellllllllllllll...Jon
Oct 26, 2001 5:32 PM
Multiple personality or projection? Which is it Spinchick? Everytime the guys start talking
about the gender-specific characteristics of their spouses, you come on with the "my
husband's that way" thing. I think there's some perverse psychological mechanism going on
here!

BTW, for truly world class farts, first superhydrate with either Guiness or Kilkenny! They're
so carbo-dense you need a knife and fork to cut the head with. And please....no "head" jokes,
flamers.
Wellllllllllllll...Spinchick
Oct 27, 2001 8:37 AM
Perverse psychological mechanism? Geez, I hope not. That sounds scary. I usually just reply to situations I can relate to. I don't think there is anything gender-specific about many of these characteristics, maybe just personality-specific.
Guiness....DINOSAUR
Oct 27, 2001 9:05 AM
Now we are down to serious stuff. I purchased a four pack of Guiness two weeks ago today. I waited until Sunday night when there was a football game on ESPN @5:00PM. I filled up a large beer mug with two cans of Guiness. Yum, yum, boy is that stuff good. It was so good that I had two more. Then I got real sleepy. The next thing I knew is I woke up in bed the next morning with a splitting headache and my Rotweiller was laying in bed alongside me with a big smile on his face. I love to know what happened with those lost hours. Now I remember why I stopped drinking.
As they say in the adsmickey-mac
Oct 27, 2001 5:55 PM
Guinness is Good for You!

P.S. Was your Rottie smoking a cigarette when you woke up disoriented to find him lying in the bed next to you with a smile on his face? ;-)
As they say in the adsDINOSAUR
Oct 27, 2001 6:07 PM
Well now that you mention it, he had sort of a smug smile on his face also...
Kinda makes other beers "pale" by comparison!look271
Oct 28, 2001 12:21 PM
No pun intended. Great stuff. Say, did your Rottie at least thank you? Call you the next day and tell you that he misses you? Probably not. Men: we're all such pigs!
This is the police, put that food down back away from the troughMB1
Oct 26, 2001 10:03 AM
New forum huh? Oh, I can see how it will be an improvement on the other one.

Pass the chips, salsa and cervesa.
pabst blue ribbon <> "cervesa". that's unholy. nmJs Haiku Shop
Oct 26, 2001 11:13 AM
Holy crap is this funny...4bykn
Oct 26, 2001 10:56 PM
I've hit "view all" three different times on this thread, and I've laughed out loud each time!!!!

Armpit farts, suddenly I'm back in the eighth grade, Mr. Brooster's math class. Damn, I'm laughing again!