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Need Help: How to get out of a trip to the in-laws(21 posts)

Need Help: How to get out of a trip to the in-lawsPaulCL
Dec 27, 2001 6:15 AM
My wife came up with a brilliant plan: Go to her mother's house for New Years weekend. HUH?

The idea of spending New Year's at my in-laws makes me sick. I need a good excuse not to go. Faking illness won't work - my wife's an MD. A work excuse won't do it either - how many investment advisors ever work holiday weekends? Not me. I need something original, inventive, sneaky, underhanded, and above all, effective. Put yourself in my shoes: either three days with a mother-in-law, wife, three kids, one cousin in a two bedroom house in the frozen, at home, alone or with the kids, in by big house with my bike on rollers, a beer in one hand and NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!

I have faith in all of you. Please help. Thanks. Paul
oh, myDog
Dec 27, 2001 6:37 AM
I sympathize, but then my in-laws are much more fun (at 82 years old) than my own parents at 60. I fix my mother-in-law (from Italy) a martini and she's rip roaring fun, cracking sarcastic jokes in a heavy Italian accent, until she passes out 30 minutes later. My parents watch football on TV and yell at the officials.

How about a trade-off? I'd suggest this. Say, "New Year's if for fun, and I'm afraid to make a fool of myself in front of your parents. How about we go out and have fun, but then go to see your parents next weekend?" -- something like that? You'd better follow through on the fun part, though; it will cost you.

Trade offPaulCL
Dec 27, 2001 6:55 AM
My in laws don't drink, so no fun that night (very religious group - I'm the heathen in-law). As for a trade-off, any weekend at the in-laws stinks. One way or another, my wife will be going there this weekend. It's just me who wants out of the picture.

The only time I don't mind going there is when the weather is OK. My wife feels sorry for me so she sends me out on long rides both Saturday and Sunday. Since it's 15 degrees and snowy here, and we're heading north, the bike will stay at home.
looks bleakDog
Dec 27, 2001 7:00 AM
Can you take the bike and rollers? They might have fun watching you fall off.

Face it, your screwed. Go along and she'll owe you one that you can cash in when there is better weather.

Suck it up man!ColnagoFE
Dec 27, 2001 7:19 AM
I sympathize, but this is something you're just gonna have to do. My dad and sister were out for xmas and while it was nice seeing them it's just as nice to have the house back after they are gone.
Fake it. Win an Oscar!Jon
Dec 27, 2001 8:12 AM
Two immediately undiagnosable disorders: back injury, clinical depression. Been under a lot of
stress lately due to market reaction to 9/11? That would work. Or get up on the roof to shovel
snow, then fall off. But then, that might not be faking it! My deepest condolences.
Two flats (on the car) on Christmas got me out...cory
Dec 27, 2001 10:19 AM
Fortunately for me, my in-laws live in South San Jose, where the winter riding is usually pretty pleasant (especially compared to Reno, where it's 30 degrees). We generally arrive in the early evening, so I walk through all that social stuff, then get up next morning to go for a quick ride for an hour or six ...
This Christmas I lucked out and had TWO flats on the car, so I had to schlep around on Christmas morning trying to find a place to get them patched so we could drive home that night.
The truth is, though, that you just have to be a man and go. If you can ride while you're there, fine (I keep an old bike hanging in their garage--saves mounting the rack and hauling 250 miles each way). If not, though, just consider it an investment in the marriage (why does it always have to be about what YOU want, anyway?).
About me?? I know I'm stuck, but, heck, why not try?PaulCL
Dec 27, 2001 10:40 AM
What I want? My mother-in-law left our house on December 22nd after a week's visit only to have us drive to her house eight days later. My M-i-L has been at our house, or we at hers, about a dozen times this year. I'm a little burned out on the in-laws thing. I've done my in-law duty for the year. As for "being a man" and going - that's all fine except that it's New Years - a party night, a night to be with friends. Not a night to hang out with the tee-totaling, christian fundamentalist in-laws. Generally, I don't object to going there, but not this weekend.

In the final analysis, I'm probably stuck. I'll make the best of it. I'll end up sitting on my butt and watching a lot of TV for three days. I'll be asleep by 11pm on New Years after a hearty celebratory toast of milk or "near" beer.

on second thought...screw it! I'll bring a six pack and a good bottle of Cabernet and get sloshed! Maybe they won't invite me again....yeah....that's the ticket!
Go for the Gusto!Jon
Dec 27, 2001 10:46 AM
You ARE creative. So go all the way. Don a party hat. Blow a horn. Moon the mother-
in-law!!! That'll get you a lifetime ban. BTW, check in on the board for a legal referral.
Might get you a lifetime ban with Mrs. MD, too! Happy New Year.
Better tell the Mrs you won't get any respect at RBR unless youMB1
Dec 27, 2001 11:02 AM
do that New Years Day Century we are all gonna do. Right fellow posters???...

BTW not too late to order those studded snow tires.
Just checked the weather report....PaulCL
Dec 27, 2001 11:30 AM the in-laws town. Each of the three days: highs in the mid 20's, lows in the mid teens. And wind. But I might bring the bike anyway. Either way: I suffer. In the house or out of it. All things considered, I'd rather freeze for a while than to watch one more minute of Martha Stewart! (My mother-in-laws favorite show - she has them taped).
oh, noDog
Dec 27, 2001 11:56 AM
Take the bike and lots of clothes. Martha Stewart is cruel and unusual. As soon as it comes on, hit the roads. At least you might get an hour or so in. That's fair. Won't want to ride much longer than that in that cold, anyway.

You have my sincere sympathy.

Dec 27, 2001 12:29 PM
Martha Stewart, tea-totalers, christian fundamentalism, two bedroom house, 6 or 7 people, little to no alcohol, no internet access, no good sleep, freezing cold weather, faking a merry Christmas (part II), having to hug my mother-in-law, no alcohol - when I need it most, having to socialize with my mother-in-law's 75 year old friends, no alcohol - god will I need you might just begin to grasp the hell that I am about to enter.

OK, ok, its' not that bad and I might be exagerating just a bit. But still, it's real boring and confining. I'll bring the bike.
Dec 27, 2001 12:36 PM
Act like you have a cold and drink plenty of Nyquil. It might sedate you the entire time. Throw down a few Tylenol PM's, too, and you'll be out of your misery.

Dec 28, 2001 9:55 AM
Oh no...don't do that. We don't want to be responsible for an overdose or accidental suicide
on New Year's Day....but then you'd get your permanent Exit Pass from Mother-in-law hell!
As Dog mentioned this is cruel and unusual punishment. You need both a legal advocate and
a trauma counsellor!
How about a nervous breakdownSoftrider
Dec 27, 2001 12:44 PM
She might actually buy that one, and she wouldn't want to leave the kids with you in that state.
re: Need Help: How to get out of a trip to the in-lawsTrent in WA
Dec 27, 2001 1:29 PM
Paul, this sounds like a truly miserable proposition, especially as you go into it in more detail, but have you tried explaining to your wife that you'd like to do something more celebratory and sociable with your friends on NYE, that the prospect of spending that holiday with your in-laws has sent you seeking solace from strangers on the internet, and that you will go only under duress? Surely she would understand that. Given that you've just seen her parents anyway and that you've seen them a bunch this year, if she ain't willing to negotiate (or you ain't willing to try), you've got some issues to deal with.

My .02, or maybe .015,
PAUL...READ THIS!!merckx56
Dec 28, 2001 7:18 AM
take two maximum strength ex-lax! make sure you time it properly though. if you decide to leave at 8 in the morning for the trip, make sure you have your "stomach virus" late, the night before! it takes about 8 hours for the ex-lax to kick in, so if you take it around 3 or 4 the day before, you are guaranteed to be on the toilet late into the night, as being in the bathroom at midnight will lend more authenticity. when they leave at 8, you can still feign illness, even though you will feel okay! drink lots of water. exlax tends to de-hydrate a bit! this plan has worked effectively twice for me! young jedi, if you follow this plan, you will have a nice quiet weekend to yourself!
Dec 28, 2001 7:45 AM
You are a sick man! I like it.

The problem is that laundry bill for the explosion when the exlax kicks in. I'm just not that desperate. I'll save this one for another occasion.

I have decided to suck it up and go to the inlaws with minimal complaining. I'll bring my bike, ride in the snow and be happy for an hour or two. Very subtley (spelling?), I will let my wife know that she owes me one.
I'm curious though....Gerry H
Dec 28, 2001 9:34 AM
If your inlaws are as odious as you portray them how come your wife isn't like that? Or is she on her way to becoming just like them? How can she stand them? Is she excited to see them or does she have to puff on a bit of reefer in the car before going to see the inlaws herself?
Your answerPaulCL
Dec 28, 2001 11:24 AM
In all fairness, my mother-in-law is a very sweet, big hearted lady whom I like alot. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are the ones who are not my favorites. Regrettfully, when spending time at the MIL's home, we end up spending time with the SIL and BIL too - all of us jammed into very tight quarters. I exaggerated their "odiousness" as a one is THAT bad. But there was truth in everything I wrote.

Luckily, my wife usually behaves like she came from a completely different family. My wife and I took different paths in life versus the SIL/BIL combo -hence there are many differences and clashes. I have openly stated, as has my wife, that if not for the sister relationship there would be no relationship. So take these differences, ram anywhere from six to nine people into a two bedroom home in the middle of winter, have four kids running around playing, give me nothing to do except watch the boob tube all day, and it makes for a tense situation.

Can my wife stand them??? Good question. I'm real lucky on this one. When we visit them or vice versa, my dear wife grows tired of the visit/or company much sooner than I. As the in-law, the 'outsider', I can usually go off and do my own thing (read: ride) without being made to feel guilty. That's why I don't mind going up there during the nice weather 'cause I can get out of the house for two long weekend rides.

Most of my post was offerred up as a joke about in-laws. Though I would have grabbed at a good excuse if one came along. Cheers. Happy New Year. Paul