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Saying Goodbye...at least for a little bit(48 posts)

Saying Goodbye...at least for a little bitDelia
Nov 2, 2001 2:03 PM
Well guys

It's been a blast but I'm going to stay off the board for a bit. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but the latest thread on the 'cycling' board started by Ishmael has really done it for me. We agreed not to respond to such posts but that did not work....then we had a non-cycling board to deal with such posts that we simply 'had to respond to'...that did not work. I get the sneaking suspicion that our 'agreements' may not hold much water. Whatever the case may be, I'm going to take a break from the board and hope that when I come back, things will be different or that i'll develop a bit more tolerance.

I wish you all the best of luck in everything. I will miss you all as you all have become a part of my 9 to 5 work life :)

Peace Out
Delia
gets to me, tooDog
Nov 2, 2001 2:34 PM
It's hard not to respond. I got way out of control around September 12. It gave me ulcers. I regretted it a lot.

For some people, I don't even read their posts. I pretty much already know it will piss me off. Don't need it.

You are a great contibutor here. I like to your points of view, too.

I understand about feeling too wrapped up in the board, though. Occasionally I need time off, too. Please take the time you need and then come back when you are ready. There are lots of good people and good info here, too.

Best wishes,

Doug
re: Saying Goodbye...at least for a little bitSpinchick
Nov 2, 2001 2:43 PM
I remember when I read your first post (or it may have just been the first one I read): "Hi my name is Delia and I THINK I'M ADDICTED TO CYCLING!!!!!! It cracked me up and I totally related. Don't forget why you "hang-out" here to begin with. Lot's of other good people who share your passion. There are a few hateful, miserable people here, I know. Like Dog, I don't even read posts by certain people anymore. If someone doesn't have something positive to contribute, it's not worth my time reading. Check back soon - the trolls get bored quickly.
re: Saying Goodbye...at least for a little bitDINOSAUR
Nov 2, 2001 3:22 PM
I havn't clicked on the other forum yet so I havn't read the thread you have referred. I get sort of burned out talking about bikes all the time. I'm actually spending more time on this forum that the cycling one. I get discouraged sometimes also, but being an old retired guy sometimes I have nothing else better to do with my time. Winter gets sort of crazy as folks aren't out riding their bikes.
Come back soon.
Old Dino cares
I agree with youErik W
Nov 2, 2001 4:02 PM
I like this new forum. It's nice to learn things about everyone here besides what bike they ride, etc... I was actually thinking yesterday the whole tone of all the forums here has been pretty mellow lately. Everyone the last couple of weeks has seemed to be in good humor. I think it is better to not post the controversial non-cycling stuff on the cycling related boards.
I don't even open any of his posts anymore. Less stress. nmMB1
Nov 2, 2001 3:33 PM
Come back, Shane...come back...mr_spin
Nov 2, 2001 4:54 PM
This forum is definitely more fun than the general one. But in a strange way, I think the existance of this forum "sans rules" removes the incentive for people like Ishmael to post their crap here. That's why he does it in the "wrong" place, because he gets a much better reaction. It will always be that way because people who feel as strongly as he does insist on not being ignored.

Oh well. It makes this forum more fun. The number of responses to my absurd post about what kind of bikes bears would ride gave me a real smile. It was a bizarre post, but people got it and played along. The tongue-in-cheek backlash at the guy who posted a cycling question was pretty funny, too.

Anyway, it's all just bits flying over wires (or optical fibers) in the end. Nothing to get too upset about. The season is over for a lot of people, so the number of posters and postings is definitely down. Take a break, but come back soon.
Peace out, Delia. Don't feel bad,guido
Nov 2, 2001 8:47 PM
Ishmael was the outcast son of Abraham and Hagar, in Genesis. The name means "social outcast" in Webster's. So our Ishmael is merely playing out his role.
Au revoir. But don't stay away too long.Jon
Nov 2, 2001 9:31 PM
Too bad. You made some good contributions. As others have stated, one needs to exercise
some self control and ignore certain posts. I generally only read posts by contributors I know
will have something useful to say, or who post legitimate queries. Regardless, nothing's
worth being continually upset over. Come back soon. You'll be missed.
I think Ishmael = TrollmanDog
Nov 3, 2001 3:27 PM
I just see a common thread of being antagonistic just to stir things up. Trollman embarrassed himself out of here, and now has come back to haunt us. If people would just ignore him, he'd go away. Happens every time.

Doug
Trollman's ass in the bathroom is wittier and more9WorCP
Nov 4, 2001 12:11 PM
edifying than ishmael's most inspired observations. The two should not be juxtaposed. I find the comparisons cruel and unjust towards "mr. small caps."
I think Ishmael = TrollmanPbOkole
Nov 4, 2001 1:36 PM
Actually doug, if you remember this guy used to post under the name "john de". He likes to adopt a cause and drive everyone crazy with it. As john de, he started a really long thread on critical mass and got really insulted when people disagreed with him. He just a wannabe activist searching for a cause. Once he gets out of school a good dose of reality will cure him.
waitishmael
Nov 4, 2001 3:38 PM
.i was insulted, but i was not insulting..the point wasnt to drive people crazy, maybe im sick of the same old posts and was looking for something more interesting, debate is good for that, but that doesnt seem possible here..god forbid you say something where the large majority doesnt agree, you end up attacked...i still think critical mass is a good thing and i still think we shouldnt drop bombs in afghanistan..i dont see that as troublesome....that wannabe cause im trying to be is enviornmental and non-violent i guess, and if we all have a label what are you...
Yes, come back soon. But. . .Mike P.
Nov 3, 2001 9:28 AM
I don't think anything will be changed here by any one of us going away for a while. Some contribute more, some contribute less, while others tend to take something away from places like this. If someone leaves, at what point will the community cease to exist?

Is it, in part, due to the "community" created by the simple fact we are all here, interacting in our own individual way, that helps keep each of us comming back, sustaining our little place?. Life in general is reflected in places like we have here. So, if one chooses to withdraw from some part of his/her life to avoid things, will that really help? Maybe, for a short time.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. . . just rambling I guess.

Suppose we withdraw to our homes for a period of time to attempt to deal with all this stuff happening in the world as of late. Turn on your TV, the "stuff" is there. Listen to the radio? There too. Reflections of society are ingrained everywhere. Yes, this includes our minds. So, after the TV is turned off, and the radio, and after we put down the books or move away from the window, I think we would realize we miss the community we are a part of. And then I guess we might go back.

Hope to see you back soon.

Take care,
Mike
hi there...ive found the non cycling post siteishmael
Nov 3, 2001 7:05 PM
im really disapointed with the majority of the people who use this forum for two reasons...one, im finding that if someone doesnt like my oppinion, even though ive always expressed it without being insulting, people will attack me...ive never insulted anyone on this site!!!!!...go back and see...other than one drunk night when i made a silly comment about someone(i forget who) being a roadbikereview hore because she just takes the info and runs...but she and i see eye to eye about it and its water under the bridge...other than that ive been civil, way more civil than ive been treated by many...its funny how having never been insulting and quite the opposite im the one who delia now mentions others feel is the problem...i am guilty of posting non-cycling material in the cycling forum...i didnt know about this forum but now do...but, besides that what crime have i done, what are you people so worked up about, come on,all i did was post two articles i found informative, how sensitive are you....so sensitive that the war cant even be discussed, if thats the case you could always have just past by the thread, it was labeled...come on people...

my second disapointment with the people in this forum is that they all seem to be so gung ho for starting another war...but that is a political issue and i at least can respect others oppinions enough not to attack them...so my disapointment boils down to two issues, one- im attacked, not attacking, read post im in and you can see..and second, this forum seems filled with people who are violent and want revenge for sept 11 at any cost...
That you would post in this thread is proof that you WANT to bejacob
Nov 4, 2001 6:22 PM
an insensitive jerk towards all of us. You need to learn to control your immature behavior.
That you would post in this thread is proof that you WANT to beishmael
Nov 4, 2001 7:29 PM
seeing as my name is in this thread a couple of times it seems appropriate that i write here..i dont see how you come to the conclusion that me writting here is proof of anything...how bout looking at it this way, proof that im open to discussion on why you all seem to think im so rude and insensitive...i cant believe you people.. go read the post and tell me who is insensitive..try counting the insults...im guilty of putting two posts on the war in the cycling column...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE, dont read them if its such a sensitive issue for you!!..but you all do, and atleast some spend the time to attack my viewpoint and a few for posting it....and now delia says she cant take it any more and mentions me..pathetic..buck up, were at war, god forbid we would mention it or maybe discuss it...yea it was the cycling forum and it wasnt directly cycling related, although i think a war permeates every aspect of life others seem to disagree and i plan to respect that in the future..i didnt know bout the non-cycling forum and now do, at the time i didnt really care, i was disturbed by the war and felt like talking about it, not argueing...if you look at the post you can see for yourself...

what the hell are you talking about!!!insensitive jerk?? give me the logic people!!..jacob your logic thus far stinks and is insulting, how bout i be insulted..i shouldnt even bother responding, i seem to communicating with the irational...any of you people who is so perturbed by my comments please stand up, stop whinning in the corner and tell me what the problem is..and please dont tell me that its a cycling column, i know, i wont post anything war related there again...god forbid i would
What is really sad is that you don't seem to have any ideazzz
Nov 4, 2001 7:57 PM
of what jacob is talking about. That's sad for you and a pity for all those here who care about Delia.
Question for Ishmaelpeloton
Nov 11, 2001 11:53 AM
You don't seem to have a lot of good to say about anyone on this board. You say you are bored with the conversation, and are trying to bring up other subjects that you only meet with answers you don't like. If you don't like the people, and don't like the conversation then why do you stay? I am sure that there are other forums that you could find to speak of your causes where perhaps you would be more accepted.

I guess basically, don't let the door hit you on the way out. I don't understand the logic of staying in a place where you aren't finding what you are looking for. Good luck with your cause though...
Too bad.look271
Nov 3, 2001 7:10 PM
I'll agree with the others. Don't stay away too long. I don't even bother with reading threads by Ish and others like him. It' tempting, however, at times to take a peak. Hope you get lots of riding in on your "vaca" and come back soon.
Please, don't go.Broke Spoke
Nov 3, 2001 7:30 PM
I am new to these forums and did not know the "history" behind that individual. He did piss me off though, and I had to vent. I will not respond to such posts again. Cycling, and the discussion of, brings a sense of "peace" to my day. Please don't let him win even the smallest victory by running you off the forum! That would truly be a tragedy that would affect many.
May you have a wonderful day- Delia!
--BROKE SPOKE--
I didn't even bother to open anything in that thread..ACE-
Nov 3, 2001 10:37 PM
Works great, try it! I hope you don't stay away long.
ACE
re: Saying Goodbye...at least for a little bita friend
Nov 4, 2001 2:04 PM
Looke Delia how wee steeme the half-blowne Rose,
The image of thy blush and Summers honor:
Whilst in her tender greene she doth inclose
That pure sweete beautie, Time bestowes vppon her.

Swift speedy Time, feathred with flying howers,
O let not then such riches waste in vaine;

from......"Delia" sonnets by Rosamount....1592

your mind is precious my friend--- i would hope you continue to share its strength with as many others as possible--- keep thinking about grad school for diplomatic relations, it would be a wonderful place for you and for those that would surely benefit from having your mind around !!!!!..a warm encouraging hug......
What is the objective the forum?DINOSAUR
Nov 5, 2001 9:12 AM
Some people who post here are taken more seriously than others. Folks who go off topic and intentionally post threads to create controversy are after one thing, attention. And attention they do get by the bushel full.
It gets to the point that after awhile you learn which posts to skip and which posts to take a look at depending on the author. It's pretty much a no brainer but we get sucked into it all the time. On the other hand controversy can be enlightening and it makes us all remember one thing that we should all be thankful for; FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
By saying you are going away you really aren't hurting anyone but yourself. Most of us could drop away and no one would notice. It's sort of like saying I'm taking my ball home and not playing with you guys anymore.
I guess it all boils down to if you want your posts to have credibilty. If you want people to take you seriousy than be careful what you say. Otherwise people won't take you seriousy and you'll just be one of those flamers that drift back and forth changing passwords. This seems to be a problem with all forums. People are looking for a soap box and a place to say something that they can't say anywhere else.
My .$02 anyway, now I'll get off my soapbox and go back to playing my solitare game....
AmenStarliner
Nov 5, 2001 12:49 PM
Holding a press conference (of a sort) to tell everyone you're dropping out is a bit much, IMO. Why not just do it if you feel as you do? Sure, you will be missed by many, but playing the victim's role in your last post here is being manipulative.

In a race, just because there is someone (Ish.) you can't drop no matter how hard you want to, you don't let them mess with your mind, you don't quit, you stay ahead of them!
It might be too complicated for you.velogirl
Nov 5, 2001 1:08 PM
Disappointment in peoples ability to act rationally is trying to cast herself as a victim? IMO your opinion has as much value as your understanding of what she is saying.
Not really....Starliner
Nov 5, 2001 3:04 PM
Clearly many of us share in her disappointment. Some have suggested to deal with it in various ways such as ignoring and skipping over the offending posts. This forum has even created another discussion category for the kind of off-subject threads that seem to burn people up.

Yet, Delia suddenly announces that she has chosen to leave the forum because of a disappointment. Several weeks back, another of our female contributors gave a similar parting announcement, having become a casualty (yes, victim) of the forum's tone at the time. Why the formal announcements? Visions of martyrdom? Oh, poor me, I don't like this or that, so I'm going to give up.

Tell me what I missed in her message. I suppose I just don't think I will ever be so important to this forum to make a formal announcement of my departure due to my disappointments.
Yes really....velogirl
Nov 5, 2001 4:27 PM
So someone who is uncomfortable, whatever the reason, decides to leave a chat site and wants to say goodbye to some there that she considers friends, is really looking for martyrdom? Like I said in my last post you DON"T GET IT!!!!!!!!
velogirl=harlettgeezer
Nov 6, 2001 8:03 AM
So if she wants to "say goodbye" why not email those that are important to her? Give it a personal touch, rather than airing out for all to see. I think Starliner is onto something.
velogirl=Jordanvelogirl
Nov 6, 2001 8:37 AM
SHeesh why do all you old geezers think you know everything?
How would she email you to say goodbye geezer?Kristin
Nov 6, 2001 9:11 AM
See, the email thingy still doesn't work out here..hmmm? Think think think!
It's not too hard to figure out.Gail
Nov 6, 2001 11:13 AM
Geezer it's pretty easy to figure out that Harlett is posted as "a friend". Who else would find a 1592 sonnet titled Delia to use to say goodbye to her friend. Plus the no caps and the --- at the end of her sentences. I miss her intelligence and spirit.
Linguistic Psychologistzzz
Nov 5, 2001 5:49 PM
Well Starliner it's nice to know we have a Linguistic Psychologist on this board. Would you mind always providing a motive to what everyone says? Oh and if you would pay attention to how people express themselves on this board you would know that one of the posts in this thread is from that "other" woman you sited. I emailed her about delia's post. I swear some of you guys have way too much time on your hands.
Come on! Search tool people!Kristin
Nov 6, 2001 9:20 AM
Harlett explicitly expressed that she was NOT leaving because of the tone of the posts, but rather because, "this is simply about my needing to be part of something different than what is here..."

I dug up the link for you to review at your leisure:
harlett "what do you all think will be the outcome of this war??" 10/15/01 12:06pm

I'll come back later and post some memory excercises for us all to do together. A few of us need to sharpen our slender recollection skills. ;-)
Your zipper is downStarliner
Nov 6, 2001 10:44 PM
Hey, smarta$$, why don't you reread the post yourself and show where you found that Harlett "explicitly expressed that she was not leaving because of the tone of the posts." Her post was inserted within an acrimonious thread; and her exit announcement followed a rambling commentary concerning the war and the forum.

Reread her first paragraph and then convince us there is no connection between the 'negative reverberations' Harlett mentions, and her decision to cut out.

As for Delia's post, it's a 5% see y'all later (for now), 95% rant. Where I come from, if a wine consists of 5% Merlot and 95% Cabernet Sauvignon, it's called a Cabernet Sauvignon. It seems to me that where you're coming from, you'd call a glass of Ripple a Chianti.
Your wine is waterzzz
Nov 6, 2001 11:34 PM
I'm wondering Starliner why this is such a big deal for you. Are you one of those with "negative reverberations" in your mind? Do you just like to think the worse about people? Why the need to belittle the actions or words of other people? Looking at this thread I see a lot of people talking about how they will miss Delia. Then there is you and your insistence that we should see this as some weakness or out of place post. I think the weakness is in your ability to empathize. I would rather read a post by Delia or Kristin anytime over a post about your rationalization of your negative outlook on some of the people here. As velogirl said you really don't get it.
Or maybezzz
Nov 6, 2001 11:49 PM
Or maybe your just scared of strong women. I'm proud to be the father and husband of two very intelligent strong-valued women.
The benefit of the doubtKristin
Nov 7, 2001 7:05 AM
When someone sets aside a persons words and focuses only on the context of their statement, that person can not see the entire picture. Therefore, can not come to an accurate conclusion about that statement. Additionally, quickly dismissing a persons statements as untrue indicates that you don't give others the benefit of the doubt or think they possess integrity. Thats too bad.

I re-read all of my posts and, after some thought, typically edit out any personal attacks I had previously typed. This post was edited 3 times.
ClarityStarliner
Nov 7, 2001 3:26 PM
Thank you for being calmer than your previous post, which lit me up as you know from the flame I sent your way last night.

I'm very sad to see both of them go. And a little hurt, too, knowing that the positive energy of this forum wasn't good enough to overcome the negative vibes for them. That our best wasn't good enough for them. Obviously, this lit up some old pictures I have concerning loss, and that's part of my hurt.

We've had such great threads recently (spin vs. power, hill climbing, LFR's mystery bike, etc.) that I just can't understand, and find it hard to accept anyone quitting this board over the things Delia spoke about. I wish that both Harlett and Delia find the strength that comes from tolerance, and that their paths do lead back here sometime soon...
I apologize Deliazzz
Nov 7, 2001 6:56 AM
I apologize Delia for my responding to this foolish side issue of someone needing to describe your motives in an unfavorable way. This board has all kinds. I really do hope you find your way back here soon. This board is a better place with people like you.
Starliner do you also post under the name Duh ?Roadgrrl
Nov 7, 2001 8:39 AM
You will be missed.......Len J
Nov 5, 2001 1:32 PM
by me and from reading this post, all the good people on this board. I wish you well.

I have been participating here for about 9 months and have noticed that while the trolls come and go, the core remains and actually grows. I hope that you return and bring your energy with you.

Len
You will be missed.......DINOSAUR
Nov 6, 2001 9:51 AM
I didn't mean to start a debate. I do not know why Delia elected to depart from the forum. I did not take the time to read Ishmaels post. What I trying to say is that if you don't respond to certain authors they will drift away to somewhere else and occasionally pop up here and there using different log on names. Most of us have departed the forum on occasion when things tend to get ugly and come back later as this is a good place to be. I've just learned from experience to avoid certain topics and posters.

Remember the "Gerneral Forum Pact"? Didn't work. You can't get away from controversy but you can learn to avoid it.

Bottom line is some of us have far too much time on their hands to worry about stuff like this, myself included. We just need to respect each other, maybe that's the key to all of it. Actually compared to about a year ago this forum is pretty tame....
If the only things that people said were things you like hear..Tom C
Nov 5, 2001 1:59 PM
what the hell would you need a 1st amandment for?
damned fingers , I meant amendmentTom C
Nov 5, 2001 2:00 PM
PeaceGail
Nov 6, 2001 11:10 AM
Sorry to see you leave Delia. Your one of the first people I did a search on to find all your posts. Lots of good reading in them! I hope your absence is short!!
So long....4bykn
Nov 7, 2001 11:18 AM
It is indeed unfortunate, if understandable, that a person feels the need to "go away". It appears that just your saying good-bye brought out enough negativity to justify your decision. Don't give up on us all, though. Come back soon, we'll keep a chair open for ya'.

Go in peace.
the irony of it allDuane Gran
Nov 13, 2001 12:30 PM
I frequently monitor the general and components forums, but decided to hit this one with some spare time today. Has anyone else noticed the irony that much of the tongue lashing & whatnot in this very thread is why the original poster is giving up on the forum?

I'm resigned to the notion that forum pacts & all that won't make a difference. The only thing that does make a difference is the dilligence of any sensible person to conduct him/herself with dignity. If someone else feeds the troll or argues with the village idiot, so what? What matters most is what you choose to do. At the end of the day, be content with the choices you make and own.

My ultra informative post (sarcasm) is not diminished by trolls and nay sayers unless good willed people give up. So... if you don't like the signal to noise ratio there are two options:

1) Go to another place
2) Make this a better place

I like option #2, mostly because for some weird reason there is something kind of special about RBR.