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expecting(50 posts)

expectingDog
Nov 1, 2001 1:07 PM
Well, my wife is two month's pregnant. After trying for four years, and nearly giving up, we get a nice surprise. Everything seems to be fine.

This could change a lot, I realize. Need to start looking for one of those trailer things pretty soon. If I have to back way off, that's fine with me.

I'd like to tell Dr. Minkow/Specialized to kiss my butt, too. This happened when I was putting in 500 mile weeks on a Selle Italia SLR.

Doug
re: expectingJon
Nov 1, 2001 1:22 PM
Congratulations!....But how did you EVER find the time????
trainingDog
Nov 1, 2001 1:24 PM
just think of it as cross training - don't tell her I said that though

Doug
What great news !!Delia
Nov 1, 2001 1:41 PM
Congratulations Doug !
transformation as follows: Doug-->Dog-->DadJs Haiku Shop
Nov 1, 2001 1:49 PM
three observations:

1) congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) be thankful you rode the 508 when you did.

3) you may be an ultra-endurance athlete, but nothing you do will prepare you for these peaks and valleys. nothing.

three words of advice:

1) sleep now. lots.

2) ride now. lots.

3) if you turn out to be one of those "breeders" (saying this with a smile in my voice), and in 27 months from now want to have a houseful of carpet-climbing rug-rats, then so be it. if, on the other hand, your life is fulfilled with one set of pitter-pattering feet, take ALL the precautions necessary to keep your offspring limit at 1. it's hard to ride 'round here, so much so that i'm running either at lunch or after work and riding after the little one's in bed. i hear it's near damned impossible with two, and personal time is a memory beyond that.

one reflection:

i've made countless changes in my life and concessions, sacrifices, and the like. my relationship with my wife has changed drastically, and i'm not sure if it's good, or bad, or if time will yet tell. i've been more heartbroken in the last 18 months than in my entire almost-30 years, and let me tell you, it's been a long, rough (*ROUGH*) 30 years. the first little bump on the noggin from crawling after a toy and falling on his face...that sent me into a panic, and it struck deep. thinking back to the second week of his life, we were out of the hospital from the delivery, then back in again with problems and in critical care. heartbreaking. i'm thankful for that experience, for me, not for him. though he won't remember it, i'll never forget it. the affection as a father i felt for him before and shortly after his birth changed to the undying love, devotion and limitless selflessness i will always give him as Daddy.

there has not been one moment since the birth of my son a year and a half ago that i would not give my only crumb of food to make him full, my last hour on earth to share his warmth, or last drop of blood to make him well. dog, this changes things. this changes you. please, please, please apply the maxim i've heard you tell many times to your little one: if it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.

finally, a picture is worth a thousand words:
transformation as follows: Doug-->Dog-->DadDog
Nov 1, 2001 1:57 PM
I'm really looking forward to it. I think my wife would be freaked a little, but for the fact that she knows me, and knows my "over doing it" tendency. It will certainly apply to this, too.

It does immediately change your whole outlook on life, doesn't it? In a flash, I go from thinking 20 hours a day about riding, to thinking almost solely about getting ready for the kid. I guess we are programmed that way.

Thanks.

Doug
forgot to use words "puppies", "litter", "neuter", "doghouse" nmJs Haiku Shop
Nov 1, 2001 1:52 PM
a new name...Spinchick
Nov 1, 2001 2:00 PM
Let's not use an infirmity, let's use your new name. I hereby dub you Daddy Dog Taft. Congratulations on the most important title you will ever hold. It also carries the greatest rewards.

As far as your wife is concerned, PLEASE give her LOT'S of support over the next nine months. (I don't think I really need to tell you this but let me drill it home.) Pregnancy plays havoc with a woman's body and mind. It's a great time of joy but sometimes a rough road.

Welcome to the club!
correction:Js Haiku Shop
Nov 1, 2001 2:06 PM
"It's a great time of joy but sometimes a rough road."

should be:

It's a rough road but sometimes a time of joy.

(of course the times of joy are more than worth 100x the rough road.) sometimes said:

It's endless hours of monotony blended with excrutiating moments of sheer terror.

that last one better applies to pregnancy as experienced by the impregnator.
The test (long)...Spinchick
Nov 1, 2001 2:27 PM
** How to know whether or not you are ready to have kids:

Mess Test
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Toy Test
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

Grocery Store Test
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Dressing Test
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

Feeding Test
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

Night Test
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until
4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Ingenuity Test
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Automobile Test
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the CD player. Take a family-size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect!

Physical Test (Women)
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Then remove the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while.

Physical Test (Men)
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

Final Assignment
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, and toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
a little late, isn't it?Dog
Nov 1, 2001 2:32 PM
At this point, we are passed the point of deciding. We are committed.

That is pretty funny, though. OH BOY!

When I think of all the awful stuff I did as a kid, and if ours is half that bad, I'm in trouble.

Doug
oh my god !quadzilla1
Nov 1, 2001 6:19 PM
That was so funny. I almost P*ssed in my pants ! I have two little girls (4yo & 16mo). I know exactly you're talking about ! I'm still laughing...I have to print this out for the wife !
The test (long)...Canada
Nov 2, 2001 12:20 AM
I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
I have 2 a boy 12 and a girl 7, and have been through all of the tests, wouldn't trade it for the world.
LOL, now where did all that come from? nmMB1
Nov 2, 2001 6:33 AM
Hey, parents of toddlers and preschoolers know something.Spinchick
Nov 2, 2001 11:05 AM
Years of collective experience, I guess. Wish I could say I came up with the funny narrative but it's not a Spinchick original.
How very cool! Congrats!!! (nm)Kristin
Nov 1, 2001 2:40 PM
Wonderful news Doug!Len J
Nov 1, 2001 3:08 PM
I couldn't be happier for you. Congratulations.

Jeffrey said most of it better than I could, however I have a little different time frame. My 4 are between 16 & 21, so I've lived thru a few more heartbrakes (valleys) and a few more incredible joys (mountaintops) then JS. Let me share a little:

1.) I have learned more about myself and my capacity to Love in the past 21 years as a parent then I have in any other part of my life. It is an incredible gift.

2.) It's the hardest, most draining, most self revealing, most gratifing, and most wonderful thing I've ever tried to do. I wouldn't not do it given the choice.

3.) Things that were important to me prior to kids, move down the list. I have found that as the kids have gotten older, old loves (Cycling) have reappeared.

Spinchinck did a pretty good job preparing you for the "toddler days".

It's interesting to me that after all your trying to have kids, that it wasn't until you and your wife started dealing with your relationship issues that you were able to conceive. Coincedence? Maybe, maybe not. The human mind/body is a complicated thing.

Again, best of luck! (Now can you get a Colnago tricycle?)

Len
yes, sort of funnyDog
Nov 1, 2001 3:33 PM
Yes, we went into counseling, and decided that we are committed to staying together. Almost simultaneously got pregnant. It is a little erie.

I'll work on that Celeste tricycle; Eduardo's are a little more affordable than Ernesto's.

Thanks.

Doug
Are you going to name her Celeste?Kristin
Nov 1, 2001 3:11 PM
Definately don't do that if it s a boy!
I sure will tryDog
Nov 1, 2001 3:29 PM
Celeste or Eduardo

I might get some resistance, though. My wife would probably like to limit the bike associations from now on.

Doug
Eduardo is good...4bykn
Nov 2, 2001 12:08 AM
...of course, you'll call him "Eddy", right!
Congrats!look271
Nov 1, 2001 3:52 PM
There is NOTHING better than being a Dad. You will, most likely, have to become a bit more creative to find the time to ride. Spent many a mile with both of my daughters in a child seat on the back of the bike, several of which they would be fast asleep! Hope everything goes well for you/wife/baby!
Nice work Doug,TJeanloz
Nov 1, 2001 5:50 PM
You know Litespeed can make a custom tricycle, right?
Congrats.....DINOSAUR
Nov 1, 2001 10:02 PM
Must be something about riding a bike. My wife got pregnant when I was a mere lizard at the young age of 43.

I laughed at all the above posts. I played Mr Mom for the first three years as my wife worked in the A.M. and I worked swings.

My daughter is 15 now and we have a wonderful relationship.
Be aware though as I have previously mentioned that girls are sneaky creatures who are full of charm and know how to get around their dads. Then they grow up to be sneaky women who know how to get around their husbands.

Girls are neat as they are talkative. Boys are neat cause they aren't. Either way you are blessed.

Congrats from the dino man.
Sneakiness?Kristin
Nov 2, 2001 6:59 AM
Look who's talking. I hear more on this site about those "rainy day funds" stored in Swiss bank accounts and ingenious plots to disguise the actual purchase price of a frame... Hypocrites all! ;-)
Hey that's a sneaky remark! NMDINOSAUR
Nov 2, 2001 7:56 AM
NM
A hearty congratulations!4bykn
Nov 2, 2001 12:10 AM
Way to go, you ol' dog!

First PsyDoc, now Doug/Dog. Okay, who's next?
CongratsPaulCL
Nov 2, 2001 6:44 AM
Sleep, ride, relax, go out with you wife. You won't have time to do those things in 7 months - and you won't really care (except for the sleep part)
hey, congrats!ET
Nov 2, 2001 7:41 AM
I don't look at this site often and almost missed it. Really happy for you!
What wonderful news!!PsyDoc
Nov 2, 2001 10:28 AM
A nice surprise indeed! My wife is 5.5 months and doing battle with the "hormone clan." Listen to Spinchick...give her all the support you can; it makes a difference!
Congats!Miklos
Nov 2, 2001 11:24 AM
Im am very happy for you and your wife. I remember reading posts in the past that you two were considering becoming three.

I wish I could make the same announcement, but have been trying to have children for years but my wife has endiomitriosis (sp), so far no luck.

Again, CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

Miklos
thanks everyoneDog
Nov 2, 2001 3:29 PM
Thanks for the kind thoughts. Things are going fine. The nausea may get me out of the opera tonight, though. The Lord giveth, and ... the Lord keeps on giving! :-)

Doug
Tell her to try "Sea Bands." Get them at the drug store. nmSpinchick
Nov 2, 2001 3:36 PM
The good, the bad, and the uglymickey-mac
Nov 3, 2001 12:29 AM
It's about 12:15 a.m. as I type this. My son who turned one on October 26 is in a hospital bed with an IV in his foot and I'm at home with our four year old daughter, who's asleep in our bed instead of her own because she misses her mom and little bother. His illness is nothing too serious; he has an intestinal virus that has caused diarrhea and nausea, and he's very dehydrated. He's being kept in the hospital for obervation and intravenous hydration. I stood by for what seemed like two hours while they tried to find a vein that would take a needle. He let out cries that almost caused me to grind my teeth flat before they finally got the needle in his foot. Honest to God, I don't know how parents endure life-threatening illnesses.

So when my daughter and I leave the hospital, she wants her favorite rice to-go from a local sushi restaurant. The place is blasting techno-type music and she gets me dancing in the restaurant. Unless you've spent time with young children, you have no idea how wise and insightful they can be. I know she was trying to make herself feel better, but I also know that she want to cheer up her dad. She must have told me she loves me 20 times since we left the hospital.

Everything will go as planned and our boy will be home tomorrow. He won't remember that this ever happened. I'll never forget the sick feeling in my stomach as nurses searched for a vein or the way he lay his head on my should, exhausted after enduring what must have seemed like endless pain. I hope my little girl will remember how she helped me through the night.

Congratulations and be prepared for a challenge that will dwarf any physical feat you've attempted.

mike mcmahon
The good, the bad, and the uglySpinchick
Nov 3, 2001 5:42 AM
This made me cry, Mike. What a wonderful little girl you have. Hope your boy recovers very quickly.

Robin
highest highs and lowest lowsDog
Nov 3, 2001 12:45 PM
Someone told me that kids give you the highest highs and the lowest lows of your life. Sort of seems that way.

Hope your boy is ok. Thank goodness they are pretty resilient.

Doug
Another night at the hospitalmickey-mac
Nov 3, 2001 4:30 PM
I'm just back to change clothes after spending the day at the hospital. Unfortunately they're going to keep him another night. I've got overnight duty tonight. A sick kid can make a guy think about religion.
now, go back eleven months, and do that for five days...Js Haiku Shop
Nov 5, 2001 6:44 AM
my son stopped eating during week two of his life, back in april/may of last year. two weeks old and in critical care, arm taped to a board to keep him from moving, IV in there the entire time. they came to take blood 2-3 times a day, couldn't get it from anywhere else, so they took it from his heels. heartbreaking. heartbreaking.

now he's unstoppable (18+ months)...running, playing, skinning his knees, climbing on stuff, climbing on me...kids are resilient, he'll get by it, so will you. the unfortunate result of his incident is that i still (and will probably never stop) closely monitor what he eats and push liquids constantly. the move from bottle to "sippee cups" was traumatic--to me! ;-) being a daddy sure changes things.
Day fourmickey-mac
Nov 5, 2001 8:32 AM
He's still in the hospital but should be leaving today. The IV came out yesterday, only because it was so twisted around it wasn't flowing properly. Fortunately, he's been keeping in enough liquids that they didn't have to start a new IV. If all the blood tests are normal today, he should be sleeping in his own crib tonight.
Great News!ACE-
Nov 3, 2001 10:49 PM
This will change your life forever. You will, no doubt, ride less, But you will certainly be amazed at the love that will fill your heart.
ACE
wonderfulfastmike926
Nov 5, 2001 7:20 AM
So now not just a wife that lives without her husband, but a child that will grow up not knowing his/her father because he is always out riding his bike. Great news.
Never mind Colnago...Bearbate
Nov 5, 2001 10:29 AM
you betDog
Nov 5, 2001 10:39 AM
I was talking to a friend this weekend, who said her daughter loves riding in those things. I figure my Milano will suit it fine.

Doug
not so fastSpock
Nov 5, 2001 10:54 AM
they gotta be able to hold up their head
true, true...Js Haiku Shop
Nov 5, 2001 11:50 AM
but after that, it's a matter of your own judgement. we had my son in there as soon as he was capable re: neck strength. however, he wasn't old/big enough to sit up on his own, and the limit on the instructions say something like 12-18 months.

so, i took his carseat (built like an armored car) and strapped it into the trailer using bungee cords, velcro strips, and the trailer's own seatbelts. problem solved.

...fast forward to this year, where he's 12+ months old and doesn't want to wear that stinkin' helmet!!!
helmet?Spock
Nov 5, 2001 11:56 AM
nm
p.s. and p.s.Js Haiku Shop
Nov 5, 2001 11:53 AM
* get the one that is built for two kids. that way, your little 'un has mucho room for toys, and you can stash a small diaper bag under the seat.

* beware: even the plastic coated jaws--at the end of the arm where it attaches to your seat stay--can mar the paint on your ride. solution: old tube portion, cut to fit.
Just found this forum.Rod
Nov 5, 2001 1:26 PM
Doug,

Congratulations to you and your wife. Hopefully her bout with nausea is short-lived.

Although your lives will be irreversibly changed, it doesn't always turn out like Spinchick's test suggests. Sure, it's a good idea to "child-proof" the house, but it's pretty easy to move hazards and breakables up and out of reach. I have two daughters (now aged 25 and 22) and was warned of a parade of horribles, up to and including shotgun weddings. But none of that came to pass, fortunately. May you have it so well.

For the first few months it's a good idea to learn to fall back asleep after those middle of the night awakenings. Generally, it isn't too bad. Of course there are those nights after which you're not worth a damn the next day, and I dare say the memory of those has faded into oblivion. Remember, the two of you are having the kid and not the other way around. I always told my two that I decided to keep them for the entertainment value. And it can be endlessly entertaining if you just let it.

A couple of "rules" if you're interested. Don't sweat the small stuff, and most everything is small stuff. So pick your battles carefully; most things weren't worth arguing over. I drew the line at harm. Otherwise, letting them venture into the school of hard knocks provides valuable lessons far more constuctive than Pop's lectures. Lean heavily on the concept of "natural and logical consequences." If the little tyke doesn't want to wear his/her shoes or coat to go shopping or to school, fine, it ain't gonna' kill 'em. And they learn to think for themselves about the usefullness of shoes and coats - and a zillion other things.

And while I'm on about it - you won't need this until age 8 or 9 (can't quite remember)- this was my sanity-saving invention. Kids leave their stuff scattered everywhere, and that's acceptable up to a certain age. When that age was reached, I invented the "box." My girls' bedrooms were their near-sovereign domaines. They kept them as messy as they wanted, cleaning up maybe every couple weeks so we could dust and vacuum. But the rest of the house was common property they had to share with me. So any of their stuff that was left laying in my way after they went to bed went in the "box", at my descretion. Coats, shoes, toys, whatever. The "box" could be emptied on Monday and Thursday nights only, no exceptions unless harm would inevetibly result (the elementary school wouldn't allow them to attend school shoeless, however). The "box" brought me the relief and safety of not tripping over kid stuff on a routine basis.

Lastly, I wasn't a cyclist when I was raising kids, but I was passionately over-involved with another sport. Although difficult at times, it was none-the-less possible. It takes a lot of focus and careful budgeting of time, something you're probably already well acquainted with. Making my wife and kids feel cared for during the time spent together seemed to be the key to having some time for my other passion.

Much joy and best of luck to you!

Sincerely,

Rod
Best, hardest job in the worldTig
Nov 7, 2001 10:56 AM
Any man be a father, but it takes a special person to be a Dad. Being a dad will bring out the best and sometimes even the worst in you. One of the gifts we give the world is our children, and what values we try to teach them. Enjoy your child together. It won't heal that many marriage problems, but can put you back on track in some ways. Don't forget to have some one-on-one time with the wife. Some people accidently abandon their partner. Congratulations!!!

My boy is 5, and my second marriage (2 years ago) added a 12 year old girl, 15 year old boy, and 17 year old girl to the ranks. It is rarely easy, but the long term rewards are incredible.
congrats doug! (nm)peloton
Nov 12, 2001 7:14 AM
nm