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call of nature during races(12 posts)

call of nature during raceshungry
Sep 6, 2003 3:17 PM
what do the pros do during some 6 or 7 hour race when they have to drop a load? I know for No. 1 they just pull up a shorts leg and go, or pull over. But what about no. 2? If they have to pull of at a bathroom, lay the cable, then get back on, wouldn't the peloton be way up the road? just wondering.
Kids, go before you go. (nm)53T
Sep 6, 2003 4:00 PM
That's why the PRD is so important...biknben
Sep 6, 2003 5:04 PM
For me a Pre-Race Dump is priority number one. I make a point of eating early the night before to let things run their course.

The pros do what they have to do. Somethimes it means dropping trou in the bushes. Then use the team cars or teammates to pace yourself back up.

Some of the funniest rider diaries I have read involved "No. 2s".
Bushes?! Yikes! Burn those shorts after the race nmFez
Sep 8, 2003 7:22 AM
I'd have to agree on the paramount importance of PRD ...AllUpHill
Sep 6, 2003 6:19 PM
And it's not so much about having to stop during a race. An equally serious concern is having to (a) stand in line for a damn porta potty wasting the time needed to get ready to ride (b) undergo the shame of having to use one, especially after it's been violated by dozens of nervous, excrement-happy racers and (c) the risk of being stuck on the throne when the ride goes off. Yep.

I've somehow gotten my system in the habit of working at roughly the same time every morning, and that usually permits getting the job done even before leaving home or the hotel room to head to the race/ride site. It's nirvana I'm telling you. You see there's more to riding than just training rides, lifting, bike handling, nutrition and strategy. You gotta develop finely tuned control over your colon.

(uh ... Did I just write two passionate paragraphs on the topic of poop?)
Yes you didPaulCL
Sep 6, 2003 6:32 PM
And what beautiful, heartfelt, paragraphs they were. Learn something new everytime I'm on this board. Now I know all about the poop habits of AllUpHill.

I do the same as you and my wife is amazed. Before an early morning ride, I give myself 30 minutes to wake up, eat, drink coffee (the key), get changed, poop, and be on my bike. She's amazed that I can do #2 on such a regular cycle. Hell, I've been in training for years!

(uh...did I just write a paragraph discussing my colonic habits??...I thought only senile old men perseverated on their colon that much...???)
From within my bowels, I feel I know you all better now.Spoiler
Sep 6, 2003 7:59 PM
Sure, epic ride stories are great. "My new bike" pics posts are nice to share. Forum members asking for advice in their personal life is a way of opening up.
But sharing dookie matters and general regularity creates truly lasting bonds among fellow humans.

When I was three years old, I had an imaginary friend. This friend only served one purpose: to aid and support me in going potty. My imaginary friend's name was Titum Turd. Actually, he was kind of a hybrid of an imaginary friend and a superhero. He never failed in guiding me through a successful loaf-pinching session.

Now, in my old age, I have found a more traditional way to keep me regular. Oatmeal.

Every morning for the past couple years, my breakfast has been a bowl of oatmeal and orange juice. Within the past six months that the oatmeal has become an essential tool for my stool.

At first, I would eat a bowl, then within a few minutes, I'd be in business. A few months later it began to work more rapidly. I'd only make it half-way through a bowl before it was time to "make mud."

But lately, all I have to do is boil the water, add the packet, and smell it to get me running to "bear the brown fruit."

This post has been quite cathartic.
Group hug??? since we're all so close now.... (nm)PaulCL
Sep 7, 2003 1:04 PM
coffee in the morning takes care of that, quite quickly. nmSpunout
Sep 8, 2003 3:53 AM
yup; plus, practice makes perfect ;-) nmDougSloan
Sep 8, 2003 6:36 AM
At a race last year, my first RR, there was one seat. For everybill
Sep 8, 2003 6:27 AM
one. Men, women, children. Everyone.
I faced an incredibly long line with thirty minutes to the start (no warm up yet, but, whatever, it's a RR), and there was just no way I was getting on my bike in that condition. This was not a maybe situation.
So, lots of nervous chatter on line. Some people gritting their teeth, stamping their feet. Time passes.
Finally, it's my turn. Like, five minutes to the start. I rush in. My jersey won't come off. Why? Just moments before, I had been utterly transported by a BEEEYOOTIFUL blonde with a European accent and other bountiful charms who had fixed my race number, but in the process she had pinned my jersey to my bibshorts. I just sort of tore the whole thing off of me.
I put myself back together and run down to the start literally just in time for the whistle.
Great race. Lots of fun.
When I finished, I realize that one strap of my bibshorts was dangling out of the bottom of my jersey. Luckily no one had more of a sense of humor and they had left me alone.
Bob Roll writes a funny story...Psalm 147-10_11
Sep 8, 2003 9:45 AM
about the same thing happening with his number pinned to his bibs. In his case, he didn't find out about it until the jersey was stuck over his head (while riding) and he was crashing into a family picnic. It is in bis Bobke book and is laugh-out-loud funny.