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GET THE AWAY, FOUL BROOKS SADDLE!(11 posts)

GET THE AWAY, FOUL BROOKS SADDLE!JS Haiku Shop
Aug 28, 2003 9:02 AM
how do i hate thee?
let me count the ways: twenty!
...my buttocks are sore

untimely break-in
two hundred seventeen miles
still no sagging seat

sit bones unhappy
isch'l tuberosities
planning a revolt

on one to ten scale
with ten being most painful
i'll give it a ten

this f@#$ing saddle
it's like sitting on a brick
atop tuning fork

could i find sucker
I would pay fool only to sit
until broken in

otherwise might try-
dragging saddle behind car
until well beaten

perhaps kerosene
douse liberally, add flame
put out with crisco

I tried gatorade
poured directly from bottle
on century ride

only made sticky
and equally painful yet
damn this damned saddle

ass penance, this is
British hand made Brooks hair shirt
itching my caboose

other Brooks break-in
occurred at six hundred miles
but(t) i cannot wait

with ball-peen hammer
attempt to dent in butt shape
but(t) unsuccessful

fear not, sore backside
for when broken-in at last
saddle: disappear

we must all pay dues
earn the right to ride comfort
but(t), will i survive?

I love to hate you
Brooks B17 Narrow
you heavy bastard
re: GET THE AWAY, FOUL BROOKS SADDLE!Andy M-S
Aug 28, 2003 9:07 AM
Heh. If you're in a serious hurry, I have a very nice Flite Ti that I'll trade you straight up for the B17N...
re: flite ti, harbinger of destructionJS Haiku Shop
Aug 28, 2003 9:18 AM
bring on the ass sores
flite, thou are'st not made for me
...thine synthetic shell

once, sat atop flite
result like having black eye
only, on my arse

flite for gurly man!
with spacious sit bones like these,
flite earns no quarter

no, andy, keep it
might as well ride greased seatpost
flite "iron maiden"
re: flite ti, harbinger of destructionTNSquared
Aug 28, 2003 10:52 AM
I'll keep my flite ti
it was saviour of my @ss
era luxe now "no mas"
ok, so I can't count..TNSquared
Aug 28, 2003 1:10 PM
which is precisely why I don't compose haiku's, but let me try to make amends:

flite ti made for me
black leather smooth and comfy
like saddle should be

sit on flite all day
no pain, no soreness at all
just happy bottom

only fifty bucks
it seems the best deal around
other saddles suck
Hah! Tradition, I spit in thy face!Andy M-S
Aug 28, 2003 12:31 PM
Seriously, though...

I've used both B17s and Flite Tis. At almost 200#, I'm no lightweight, though not as wide as my OGWGFIW jersey would tend to indicate.

I've found both the B17 and the Flite to fit my fanny just fine. The difference is in HOW you ride. A more upright position demands a B17 (I'm thinking of one for touring). A flatter back, with a significant drop to the bars (as on my RB2) demands a narrower saddle.

So, the offer stands...
Flip side haikuOldEdScott
Aug 28, 2003 9:08 AM
Opposite problem
big sag, much too early
May be drilling holes, soon.

Hatchet ridge nightmare from
deep-dent sit-bone marks
tension bolt running out

Ah Brooks, you are made from
living creatures, some too thick-skinned
some
too thin.
J fears retirement approacheth Scott's leather companionJS Haiku Shop
Aug 28, 2003 9:20 AM
"leather companion"
sounds like pet name for fun friend
one with riding crop

:)
One year old, too youngOldEdScott
Aug 28, 2003 9:45 AM
to retire
from road wars and
imtimacy with butt
more haikudzrider
Aug 28, 2003 11:50 AM
some sorry ass cow
gave his life for your comfort
Hindus are appalled

plastic shell - dense foam
under synthetic leather
offend no beliefs

can god make a butt
so big that a Brooks Saddle
cannot support it
"Can god make a butt so big....Lone Gunman
Aug 28, 2003 4:59 PM
Oh yeah, she answers the phones at our office.