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All males be warned!!!! dont do it.(33 posts)

All males be warned!!!! dont do it.ishmael
Aug 27, 2003 11:24 AM
There is a startling corelation between the lowering birth rate of cacausians in America and the increase in cycling. Males are losing there ability to reproduce because of the ever increasing hardness of the latest high-tech saddle. We all must work to keep our race strong and do our part. I for one have found the Wtb sst saddle and I ride around as comfortable as could possibly, possibly be. And I do my part in other ways but thats none of my business. Why!! Why, my brothers and sistas must we sit on a fruit rind fatened with two metal sticks. Some inocent girl I know thought that hole in the bottom is where my balls go! They think we're sick! And some of us kinda are. But if you think I'm going to ride around in big cirlces while my testicals loose all there everything, youre as wrong as pavement for a critter, my knight in plastic, spandex, and styrofoam. Are you fast enough to dress like that. Yes, I know it's the most practical thing. Ever walk around with other people with all your gear on? And carrying your helmet is too much trouble so you wear it. And everyone looks at you. And then they look at your penis. And then you look at your penis. And then you say, yea it's not what you had planned to wear. Infact your thinking of leaving rather soon. But you drink your drink. And then youre feeling kinda goofy in your outfit so you have two more. And then your walking to the bathroom. Click,,,slowllyy..click. And then you hit a hidden spot of water or beer or you dont know what, and Snap! you've just completely spun your body 90 degrees yet youre still 3 foot above the ground. And then time slows. And then it's over. It's ok. You feel stupid but theres no serious pain. You deserved that. And now your wet. So you bend way over and pee with your bib on and you move back over to your people sounding like a very, very slowly moving horse.
Ishy baby, you're a poet. a damned poet. nmJS Haiku Shop
Aug 27, 2003 11:28 AM
Ishmael, are you talking about Moby again? nmMarketing Dept
Aug 27, 2003 11:36 AM
so youre in the marketing departmentishmael
Aug 27, 2003 11:41 AM
Are you interested in my views? What I want to buy? What you could sell me? Ok, I want... I want..?. What do you have to offer? Do you offer all the physical? HOw bout the service? What's the most expensive service you offer? Can you beat a BJ from my wife in the family room? Cause that's free.
time to increase the Ritalin from 20mg to 60mg daily (nm)terry b
Aug 27, 2003 11:37 AM
Power To The People!!!!!! nmfirstrax
Aug 27, 2003 11:37 AM
I hate it when that happens! (NM)MrCelloBoy
Aug 27, 2003 11:42 AM
Try THAT in a bar in northern WisconsinMel Erickson
Aug 27, 2003 11:43 AM
and you won't have to worry about your sperm count ever again!
ARe we all occasionally called a fagot and threatened?ishmael
Aug 27, 2003 11:52 AM
Happend lastnight. I imagined I'd convince them that all of them against me wouldn't be fair and that three should go and one should stay and we'll dook it out and get real angry. And they'd leave him there and so would I. Or I'd pin him down and scream in his face and make him say I love little boys in spandex in his best homo voice. And then I'd say get out of here punk before I give you something to really cry about. I'll bet chances are all of us well honed cyclists could tear the purple spleen out of any fukker that pissed us off in a battle to the death. I almost did it. But I backed off. Infact I backed off from the entire fight. Again. And again. Thank goodness.
One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small.....firstrax
Aug 27, 2003 12:01 PM
And the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all.
Go ask Ishmael when he's ten feet tall.

Anyone else suddenly find this song stuck in their head?
i'll be really disappointed when this post is 'moderated' nmJS Haiku Shop
Aug 27, 2003 12:12 PM
funny, I was just thinking the same thing! nm.Steve_0
Aug 27, 2003 12:15 PM
I think we have until at least 5:00 p.m. Pacific time . . .ms
Aug 27, 2003 12:19 PM
About two weeks ago Doug mentioned that he had a three-week trial. Given that he has not been posting much, my guess is that the case did not settle and he is in court every day. So, I think we are safe until at least Doug gets back to the office from court this afternoon.
holy stream of conciousness batman...Frith
Aug 27, 2003 12:20 PM
that was the most honest, self revealing stream of psycho babble I've ever had the pleasure to read. Some kind of new beat poem.
thoroughly entertaining... Like taking a tour inside someones head.
Frith gives it 2 brake hoods up!!!
thank you!
now clean your brain off the keyboard and go to bed.
thank youishmael
Aug 27, 2003 12:24 PM
I need to keep off the green though. I must live without it.
Ish is no one's prisoner.Spoiler
Aug 27, 2003 2:33 PM
You're a fine example of someone using this board as a positive outlet.

Summertime blues.
retard...strut your stuffsievers11
Aug 27, 2003 1:27 PM
You are only cool on your bike. Off your bike you should stay cool by ditching the gear.

Don't wear $85 jersey and $10 t-shirts, $130 shorts and $30 jeans. You should have more stye then that. Do you have a $300 hybrid or a $4000 racing bike.

What is cycling without class? speed without style? racing without Cipo?

If you are going to walk around with your bike gear, strut. You are cool if you project cool, walk around like a dead horse and you are just a bum on a bike.
Now that's what I call a three martini lunch n/mfracisco
Aug 27, 2003 2:52 PM
re: All males be warned!!!! dont do it.mapei boy
Aug 27, 2003 3:18 PM
I usually tell people they're better off wearing road shoes & pedals than MTB ones. In your case, though, I'd go for MTB. Definitely.
wow, man... it sounds like the 'shrooms hit hard today.....nmrwbadley
Aug 27, 2003 4:32 PM
Racist bikers. I'm disappointedwinstonc
Aug 27, 2003 4:46 PM
Did no one else care when they read this? "We all must work to keep our race strong and do our part." Sounds like the preface to some white supremacist propaganda. I don't like it when white people say this kind of garbage and I don't like when black people say this kind of garbage. That kind of talk isn't the result of being proud of the group you're in -- it's the result of hostility to people with different skin.

I can't believe that people on this board complain about redneck pickup truck drivers and being called fagots -- and then let this kind of crap fly.
Racist bikers. I'm disappointedorange_julius
Aug 27, 2003 4:59 PM
I'm very surprised by what was written I didn't even
know what to say. Let's start with, what the hell
are you saying, Ishmael? What's up with this keeping
this "cacaucian race" strong?
I believe he was talking about the human race...Frith
Aug 27, 2003 5:38 PM
and besides can any of this drivel really be taken seriously? It's hardly the rallying cry for the next neo-nazi movement. If I'm missing something huge here and it is something I should take deep offence to then I'll be sure to apologize for my inability to jump to far fetched conclusions. I will however sleep well at night knowing that with our Ish at the healm this movement is destined to die a quick and probably very confused death.
Take a pill; he's talking about the human race....nmKG 361
Aug 27, 2003 7:32 PM
The post speaks for itselfjtolleson
Aug 28, 2003 7:04 AM
and your thirteenth-hour misreading to avoid conflict doesn't pass the straight face test.

Preserving the caucasian race, "fagot" [sic] and "homo" all in the same thread from the same poster does little to impress me.
Ishmael has got a case of xenophobia....GeekRoadie
Aug 27, 2003 9:34 PM
I'd have to agree with you. How can anyone defend what ishmael is saying.. I suppose Ish isn't to be taken too seriously. Caucasian=human race? If you believe that, let me know where you live and I'll be sure to let all those foreigners know how you really feel.

Closet racist jokes are really "entertaining". Thanks for the fresh comedy.

/mike
it's not that we agree with Ishy's diatribe,...JS Haiku Shop
Aug 28, 2003 8:38 AM
just that we sincerely appreciate his vision and poetry.

the epistle of a visionary.

and i do mean "vision".

he's the next ginsberg, man, the next charles bukowski.

"these words i write keep me from total madness."

Ishy: the man, the myth, the legend.

all hail the american night!
you so kindishmael
Aug 28, 2003 9:57 AM
I'm flattered and so happy you appreciate it. And I also like your posts too. Sounds hooky but true(just started as fourth-grade teacher and it brings lots out of me)

I cant believe people are taking me seriously. Figuring out if I'm a racist or homophobe, rediculous. And ofcourse I dont really think the paralel between cycling being a prodominantly white sport and white's rate of reproduction has any correlation.
Hey Ish... how are the greentyres working out ? ( nm )superdog
Aug 27, 2003 7:20 PM
they suckishmael
Aug 27, 2003 7:26 PM
I took them off. Awful all round. nothing good to say bout them other than you can't get a flat. I gave them to someone else who was interested in them. I'm picky though, I always ride at 120psi. But still they sucked.
did you give them to me?ishmael
Aug 28, 2003 9:59 AM
thank you if you did, dont mean to be rude. Whoever gave them to me it was very nice. They just dont work for me so I passed them on. They hopefully arent sitting in a basement.
You're right your wife does do a good BJ in your living room! nmpnitefly
Aug 28, 2003 8:19 AM
Well, lets look at it a little closerRoadi
Aug 28, 2003 8:21 AM
While biking probably does have its small negative effect on the male sex organs, I doubt it is the root cause of the lowered birth of white babies but rather a very small variable. The lowered birth rate of white babies is probably more due to social changes and the environment. People today are more selfish than previous generations. Middle class white people often think...why have babies when I can spend this salary on a new $5000 Carbon fiber and titanium wonderbike? While other less fortunates (including some white trash) are thinking about getting more $ from welfare for having more kids. Lets think about working white women who wait until their late 30s and 40s to have kids and then wonder why they need help getting pregnant. And, looking at the statistics, the increase in disorders among babies and adults have risen with our Industrial wealth and polution...wouldn't it follow that it is affecting our sex organs as well? It is even a proven fact that wearing briefs as opposed to boxers reduce sperm count. I have numerous friends who are white and ride a lot and they are still getting their wives pregnant.