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Best comeback for homophobic coworkers...(25 posts)

Best comeback for homophobic coworkers...DT
Aug 8, 2003 9:49 AM
...who give you crap for the cycling garb? This should be good... :o)
Decent comeback for homophobic coworkers...Crankist
Aug 8, 2003 10:04 AM
One older Asian guy at work, seeing me dressed to ride home asked "You are man or woman?" I was a little pissed but remained just calm enough to say "Lu, baby, just ask your wife."
"You are man or woman?" Isn't part of the whole problem withbill
Aug 8, 2003 10:28 AM
lycra shorts is that you can really, really tell?
That's a funny response by the way. Good one.
In a race last weekend, one of our guys is in a chase group, and some guy starts jawing about how his dead grandmother could pull faster. My buddy said, "Well, let's stop and dig her up, because no one's seen your a** at the front." Which I thought was pretty funny. And it got even funnier on the next climb when the guy got dropped.
Do we work in the same office???biknben
Aug 8, 2003 10:13 AM
I have some real A-holes in my office.

Ironically, the same guys who give me a hard time are the ones who are 40-50 lbs overweight and constantly on diets. It's obviously some amount of jealosy that brings the worst out of them. I use them as motivation. Just thinking about them makes my blood boil.

They have a hard time with the shaved legs too. I've kept my mouth shut up to now but I am going to unleash some day.

One guy actually said this to me:
"Because you drees like that all the time, I guess you don't realize how stupid you look." That was said before I left for the day. That was a really fast ride home.
Wow. That's harshKristin
Aug 8, 2003 10:18 AM
In my office, everyone is mature enough to only talk behind my back. And perhaps being a chick helps. :-P
and your replyThe Human G-Nome
Aug 8, 2003 10:19 AM
perhaps, but not half as silly as you're going to look lying on the floor with blood dripping down your chin if you call me stupid again.
do these guys also watch football?moschika
Aug 8, 2003 10:22 AM
not to disparage any football watchers, i used to be one, but some guys i know will make some comment about cycling and how it 'gay' it looks, yet they don't mind watching another sport where other men run around in tight pants, falling all over each other in what appears like a giant groping session, pat each other on the ass between plays, and even start plays by having one man stick his hands between the legs of another man, where a ball is passed man to man.

this the makings of a good homoerotic story if you ask me.
Great minds think alike. see below. nmpurplepaul
Aug 8, 2003 10:23 AM
Granted, there's nothing more manly than wearing tightspurplepaul
Aug 8, 2003 10:22 AM
and reaching between a squatting man's legs for his ball, but football doesn't appeal to me. Perhaps you can explain why it does to you.

AND STOP LOOKING AT MY PACKAGE!
"Why don't you bend over and let's find out." (w/apologies to our sensitive viewers)128
Aug 8, 2003 10:34 AM
As for the NFL; could those guys look any tighter...
re: Best comeback for homophobic coworkers...MR_GRUMPY
Aug 8, 2003 10:36 AM
Just last Tues. two kids in a rusty white car pulled up to us and rolled down their window and said" Hey ! you f*gs"
I looked over at him and said "Nice car, are you on the way to the junkyard?" After that, he mentioned a few words that started with M & F. and was clearly upset. He proceeded to show me that his car was in great shape, by flooring it, and accelerating away.
I hope that my lungs weren't damaged by the fumes that resulted.
Never came up, but if it did . . .cory
Aug 8, 2003 10:43 AM
Other than the occasional dumb-@ss redneck hoot, I've never had a problem. It just doesn't come up.
If it did, though, here are a couple of possibilities:
"Oh, I guess they ARE tight. I wouldn't expect another guy to notice that."
"Gee, you're right. I guess I'm secure enough in my masculinity that it never occurred to me. Funny YOU should notice."
"Why are you looking at my @ss to begin with?"
"Does that excite you?"
Or, as a friend of mine does, just purse your lips and make a little kissing sound. There's very rarely a comeback to that.
I guess I am lucky. . .MisJG
Aug 8, 2003 10:46 AM
especially after reading some of these posts. I work in an office that is mostly women, so I don't get insulted, I get leered at! The men either don't say anything to me or tell me riding that far is too far or praise me for being able to do it. The women tell me I have great legs. Pretty funny, there always seems to be a gathering of women in my desk area (at an adjacent desk) when I get back from changing for the ride home. I think people are too freaked out about harrasment, etc to say anything negative around here. One of the benefits of working for a large corp, I guess. I have even more fun each year on St Patrick's Day when I wear my Kilt to work! The first year it was kinda shocking to people, but after three years, people now just ask, "Are you gonna wear it again this year?"
Perform oral sex on them. nmSpoiler
Aug 8, 2003 10:47 AM
nm
Well, sure, but . . .bill
Aug 8, 2003 10:49 AM
what if she still won't respect me . . . .
That was pretty funny.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nmJS Haiku Shop
Aug 8, 2003 11:00 AM
Not a problem at my office . . .ms
Aug 8, 2003 10:47 AM
but then my office is not exactly "normal." One of my partners is openly gay (e.g., he and his domestic partner and children have been profiled in a major newspaper article, etc.) I wear lycra, including my Team Telekom "magenta" (i.e., hot pink) jersey, and shave my legs. One of my partners is a theater/musical aficionado. Who is the gay one? -- neither of us -- the gay one is the most traditional, "straight" acting of us all. There is no real cure for homophobes -- I think it is best that they question all of us and that we not disabuse them of their suspicions -- the more gay guys that they think might be out there, the more it will drive them crazy.

Now, I know what you are talking about. Two of my friends who have known me for years, long before I took up this sport, were shocked when they saw my shaved legs and ask me every time I see them or we speak on the telephone whether I still shave, do I have "something" to tell them, are my wife and I still together, etc.? I usually bait them back by asking them if they are interested in a liason, do they want to feel my smooth legs, etc. When they ask how high I shave, I ask if they want to see first hand. Now, I wouldn't do this with people that I did not know so well. But, these guys get the picture -- I'm still the same guy I was when I was a hairy-legged couch potato who never wore anything other than natural fibers. I can dish the homophobic stuff back to them as fast as they can dish it out.
send them this linksteve-z
Aug 8, 2003 11:03 AM
http://www.apa.org/releases/homophob.html

New Study Links Homophobia with Homosexual Arousal

August 1996 Press Release
WASHINGTON -- Psychoanalytic theory holds that homophobia -- the fear, anxiety, anger, discomfort and aversion that some ostensibly heterosexual people hold for gay individuals -- is the result of repressed homosexual urges that the person is either unaware of or denies. A study appearing in the August 1996 issue of the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA), provides new empirical evidence that is consistent with that theory.

Researchers at the University of Georgia conducted an experiment involving 35 homophobic men and 29 nonhomophobic men as measured by the Index of Homophobia scale. All the participants selected for the study described themselves as exclusively heterosexual both in terms of sexual arousal and experience.

Each participant was exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual and lesbian videotapes (but not necessarily in that order). Their degree of sexual arousal was measured by penile plethysmography, which precisely measures and records male tumescence.

Men in both groups were aroused by about the same degree by the video depicting heterosexual sexual behavior and by the video showing two women engaged in sexual behavior. The only significant difference in degree of arousal between the two groups occurred when they viewed the video depicting male homosexual sex: 'The homophobic men showed a significant increase in penile circumference to the male homosexual video, but the control [nonhomophobic] men did not.'

Broken down further, the measurements showed that while 66% of the nonhomophobic group showed no significant tumescence while watching the male homosexual video, only 20% of the homophobic men showed little or no evidence of arousal. Similarly, while 24% of the nonhomophobic men showed definite tumescence while watching the homosexual video, 54% of the homophobic men did.

When asked to give their own subjective assessment of the degree to which they were aroused by watching each of the three videos, men in both groups gave answers that tracked fairly closely with the results of the objective physiological measurement, with one exception: the homophobic men significantly underestimated their degree of arousal by the male homosexual video.

Do these findings mean, then, that homophobia in men is a reaction to repressed homosexual urges, as psychoanalysis theorizes? While their findings are consistent with that theory, the authors note that there is another, competing theoretical explanation: anxiety. According to this theory, viewing the male homosexual videotape may have caused negative emotions (such as anxiety) in the homophobic men, but not in the nonhomophobic men. As the authors note, 'anxiety has been shown to enhance arousal and erection,' and so it is also possible that 'a response to homosexual stimuli [in these men] is a function of the threat condition rather than sexual arousal per se. These competing notions can and should be evaluated by future research.'

Article: 'Is Homophobia Associated With Homosexual Arousal?' by Henry E. Adams, Ph.D., Lester W. Wright, Jr., Ph.D. and Bethany A. Lohr, University of Georgia, in Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Vol. 105, No. 3, pp 440-445.
re: Guy in the elevatorjrm
Aug 8, 2003 11:29 AM
ASks me how far i ride each day. i say oh about 10 to 15 miles depending on how i feel. he then sez "oh thats not far". My non verbal response was to size the fat guy up and say "yeah".
re: Best comeback for homophobic coworkers...pedalAZ
Aug 8, 2003 12:17 PM
"I find it a lot easier to pick up guys when I wear this kind of 'advertising.' How do you do it?"
Pantyhose are sooo much easier to put on shaved legs. Duh! nmSpunout
Aug 8, 2003 2:23 PM
After complimenting him on HIS choice of clothing, I ask...bicyclerepairman
Aug 8, 2003 3:42 PM
"Where did you buy that?" Then, "do they sell mens clothes there too?"
re: Best comeback for homophobic coworkers...Fignons_ponytail
Aug 8, 2003 5:27 PM
Typically a few times a year someone will make the comment "You shave your legs--you are so gay!"

I always respond, "And just why are you staring at my legs, you fokin' homo!!" :^D
Just say "you're jealous you can't pull off this outfit." nmjtlmd
Aug 8, 2003 8:52 PM
Just tell him the truth...jesse1
Aug 9, 2003 3:08 AM
...that lycra shorts give us super powers, and to prove it to him, he's welcome to wear his "Gomer" shorts & cotton "BudLight" shirt when he races you on the coarse of his choice.