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Friday Poll: okay, so if you actually CAUGHT a Podium Girl...(53 posts)

Friday Poll: okay, so if you actually CAUGHT a Podium Girl...lonefrontranger
Jun 13, 2003 6:33 AM
... what would you fellows manage to say or do to convince her to go out with you? All cheesy pick-up lines accepted here, this is a Friday Fun Hypothetical situation.

For you older married guys, there is no ulterior motive or blackmail involved, merely healthy curiosity. Consider your 24-year-old single self. Or better yet, imagine that you are a fancily ripped and suave Euro-pro type. Poor ol' Thor in the photo here doesn't have a chance. Remember too, that there's no accounting for taste; "El Nino" Sevilla is a star favorite among the current crop of PGs (that is god's honest truth). Feel free to be as sensitive, macho, dorky or comical as you wish.

Naturally I have no personal vested interest in this poll, I'm merely bored and in search of entertainment...
Check the label in the back of her dress and say...CHRoadie
Jun 13, 2003 6:39 AM
... "I just wanted to see if you were made in heaven!"

Works every time.

Or not.

:-)
How much does a Polar Bear weigh? ..........El Guapo
Jun 13, 2003 7:37 AM
Enough to break the ice! My name is ..... (insert your name here).

Sorry about that. It's the cheesiest pickup line I could come up with on such short notice.
Pick up line: Can you explain to me...Continental
Jun 13, 2003 6:44 AM
Can you explain to me how Einstein's theism led him to reject the quantum theory? I don't understand his point of view in some of the Bohr-Einstein letters.

If it works, then you've got an intelligent, educated podium girl.
it's all a matter of oddsDougSloan
Jun 13, 2003 6:44 AM
As you say, there's no accounting for taste. That being the case, about all you can do is ask 100 to expect a few to accept. (This coming from a relatively shy guy who nearly always must have the woman make the first move.)

*"So, do I stink?"

*"Want to join me for a 9,000 calorie dinner?"

*"Want to give me some pointers on leg shaving?"

*"You made it all worthwhile. Dinner is included, isn't it?"

I know, I'm a geek. I'd probably never actually say these things. About the most I'd likely manage is "wanna go get a beer?"

Doug
Loving the last one! Too bad I'll never get to try it... (nm)CHRoadie
Jun 13, 2003 8:02 AM
nm
I would undoubtedly brag to her about my wife ...Humma Hah
Jun 13, 2003 6:45 AM
... I'm not kidding, it has happened before. I'll be out riding in a century or something and find myself in the company of a delightful and very fit young lady who seems to enjoy my company, and I'll find myself bragging to her about what a wonderful marriage I have.

Its probably a sign of mental illness.

Now, if I were single, I'd probably brag about my bike instead, and turn her off totally.
oh, come onDougSloan
Jun 13, 2003 6:49 AM
I'd take your mental illness any day. ;-)

Doug
Depending upon the woman, it may work . . .ms
Jun 13, 2003 7:42 AM
In the past year I have had two encounters on the Acela train from New York with good looking and charming women who were sitting next to me. Woman No. 1 broke the ice by complimenting my suit and cufflinks. I began chatting with her. Then I saw her eyes lock onto my wedding band. She went silent and remained so until she got off of the train in Philadelphia. Woman No. 2 was the exact opposite. She started talking to me about the book I was reading. When she told me that she just had broken up with her boyfriend, I decided that it was time to start talking about my wife and family (in the event she had not noticed the wedding band). By the time the train reached Baltimore, I practically had an invitation to her place in DC. It seemed like the more that I spoke about my wife and family, the more she was interested. Maybe she thought my wife and children were a challenge -- like an Alpine col for a cyclist. In any event, I thought that it was quite odd that the more I was making it clear that I was not interested or available, the more determined she seemed to pursue me.

BTW: I am no "chick magnet" and was fairly ill adept at picking up women in my bachelor days. Since I have had my two encounters, I have begun to wonder if the train between New York and Washington is a hunting ground for younger women seeking to become trophy wives to middle aged men. Perhaps if I had told Woman No. 2 how much money I spend on tuition for my children, my mortgage, my bike and how little money there would be for a mistress/trophy wife, she would have left me alone or changed seats.
Misread53T
Jun 13, 2003 10:05 AM
She didn't want your money, she wanted your, er, well you know what. That's all that married men can offer a nice young woman, no strings attached. You met one of those statisticle anomalies that we only read about: a single woman looking for sex.
I guess I'm just dense . . .ms
Jun 13, 2003 10:30 AM
maybe that's why I didn't score as much as others did when I was young. In any event, I am spoken for and that's that.
I'd say...moneyman
Jun 13, 2003 6:50 AM
You are the same age as my daughter! Your parents must be very proud of you!

OK - fantasy must have some basis in reality, don't you think? Me as a 24 year-old, single, ripped, suave Euro-skinny type is as far from reality as me being on that podium. I'd be more inclined to hand her a $20 and say "have a good time on your date tonight, dear. Call if you'll be late getting home."

$$ (Fantasy? What's that?)
fantasy...DougSloan
Jun 13, 2003 6:53 AM
Don't forget that these 24 year old racers are about 5'4", 130 pounds, no upper body, smell of b.o., shave their legs, are totally consumed with themselves, while the podium girls are 5'10" models who can have just about any rich stud they want.

Doug
The pictured rider mus be standing on a box...dzrider
Jun 13, 2003 7:37 AM
I'd try smiling, making eye contact, and saying "Isn't this a beautiful day?" The only thing that ever worked for me was conveying a sense of wonder and delight and making the woman feel like part of it.
LFR...DougSloan
Jun 13, 2003 6:50 AM
Being both a bike racer and a woman, what would you think an appropriate way to ask? Only fair that you share...
well, as both a bike racer and a woman...lonefrontranger
Jun 13, 2003 8:27 PM
I truly don't qualify as goods for your typical podium girl (the decorative kind, I mean.) Not to say I haven't been on a few podiums in my lifetime, but it was hard work, not looks what got me there.

I think Spirito is onto something, but my mentality probably is not the same as your usual 'starlet' or model type. From what I can tell, chicks like that truly do dig jerks. Or at least the kind of guys who can come up with a memorably cheesy pickup line -- AND (here's the important part) have the minerals to actually pull it off.

However, and I hate to admit this... I must say the repressed blonde bimbo in me did appreciate CH Roadie's "check the tag in her dress" response. Properly done I can totally see this coming off both cute and sincere.
wspokes
Jun 13, 2003 6:59 AM
What I would actually do is probably just smile a great deal and laugh. Especially now that I am post 1 week shaved head completely, they probably wouldn't even give me a second glance. I don't do well around good looking women. I am retro cycling geek. The most I could do is offer her my woolie jersey if she needed to take the chill off!

Now the macho guys would say something like

-Wow, do I ever want to lube your chain.
-You sure got my gears turning
-(glancing at her backside) If I had a seat like that I would never stop riding on it.
-(glancing again at her backside)..Oh sorry, I was just looking at your assets.
-Nice rack, I have some luggage I would like to put on it.
-Are those real or synthetic chamois?
-When I first saw you I nearly popped a chain
-Looking at you makes me want to push a bigger crank.
-I have a jersey back home that might actually fit those!

seriously, I could go on all day with these one liners..but I would never use any of them other that in comedy!

Walt
I'd give her a Joey smirk and say...853
Jun 13, 2003 7:06 AM
"Howyou doingg?" and if she gave me that - whatever look, Then I'ld turn around and do the same thing to the other Podium Girl.
Works all the time! ;)
re: Friday Poll: okay, so if you actually CAUGHT a Podium Girl...jujigatami
Jun 13, 2003 7:06 AM
Me: You're so nice and so pretty and so sweet, are you sure there isn't a little bit of Jew in you?

Her: No darling I'm sure there is no Jew in me.

Me: Would you like some?
re: Friday Poll: okay, so if you actually CAUGHT a Podium Girl...FTMD
Jun 13, 2003 7:06 AM
I wouldnt' have the ba**s to ask her out so this is pointless, but still entertaining.

Like Doug, a woman has to make the first move. After I broke up with a gf of 2 years, within a month I managed to ask 2 different girls out. Both used the highly dubious, "gotta boyfriend" excuse. I went back into my shell at that point. Nope, it's chance encounters or setups for me for now on.

Delicious
Do you know LFR? Can you introduce me?DCP
Jun 13, 2003 7:10 AM
You know we all truly lust for a woman who rides.

Of course, I am a little unsure that I could handle getting my butt kicked by someone like LFR, but that is a different topic altogether.
I married one, get your own! nmMB1
Jun 13, 2003 7:15 AM
Yours would be on the podium with a podium guy on either side ..Humma Hah
Jun 13, 2003 7:19 AM
... accepting the trophy.
there has to be champagne...mohair_chair
Jun 13, 2003 7:19 AM
This is cheesy, but in the spirit of the moment, it might work.

First of all, to set the mood, you have to be polite and classy on the podium. "Thank you, Mr. Hinault, I'm sure only YOU could have beaten me today...." You also have to have fun. Show a silly smile, growl with the Lion, etc.

Now she thinks you are a great guy.

When they give champagne, shake it a little and do the required spraying of the press. Then turn to the girl you favor and say: "I've saved the rest for a quiet dinner tonight. Join me?"

How could she say no?

Of course, if she does, just turn to the other one and say "what about you?" Ah, so much for class....
Don't you guys get out?CARBON110
Jun 13, 2003 7:37 AM
I dont know about yall ( a little expression I picked up in the Southern Country ) but don't you meet up with temptation all the time? The challenge is resisting not provoking. Anyone under the opinion perhaps you become so comfortable with yourself in a relationship that is going well you become more attractive to others then when you are single and meddling to much in your mind about how to approach women? As for picking up women, dam if Im wrong but having a woman ride a bike WITH me and being able to talk smack about bike stuff and have her actually correct me on details....knocks my socks off.....So I guess I would say to a podium girl:

So, ahhh....do you play Golf or are those tan lines from riding a bike?

From there the possibility is endless :D
hmm... I think we have a winner (and more on podium girls)lonefrontranger
Jun 14, 2003 5:57 AM
Sorry mohair_chair, I didn't read all the way through the responses earlier. In my mind anyway, this is probably the scenario with the highest percentage of actually working. Tho as I already mentioned my personality and motives probably don't mesh well with that of the 'models' hired for these jobs.

My coach and his buddy JV have told me a few stories about Euro cycling society (whiling away the hours in swap meet booths, on long rides, etc.). From them I gather that PGs are essentially what we would consider groupies. Most are indeed cycling fans; many know quite a bit about the riders and racing, and follow the exploits of their favorites, etc... There's a fair bit of competition amongst the ranks for PG jobs too, apparently.

As an aside I've seen what happens to those guys when they get too rambunctious with the champagne bottles, and it's funny as hell. The girls are model-tall as Doug pointed out, and apart from Mario and a couple of big roleur types like George Hincapie and Jens Voight, most of these guys are under 5'10" and weigh less than 150 lbs. Now the ladies often get to keep their PG clothing as a job perc, so they're not inclined to want it ruined by champagne or otherwise. I've seen a rider attempt to hose the PGs down, only to get utterly trounced and practically carried off the stage -- to quote someone else from the board it looked like an 11-year-old kid getting his ass kicked by his teenage sister. Hilarious.
Garzelli ?DougSloan
Jun 14, 2003 12:52 PM
I think you are talking about Garzelli in the Giro a couple of years ago. One of the girls wrestled him to the floor after he showered her. BTW, I don't think you'd see the French girls doing that. Those Italian girls have bit of spunk (married to one), and seem to be much more friendly and prettier, too (on televsion, at least).

Doug
You need an icebreaker...biknben
Jun 13, 2003 7:20 AM
Like doug, I'm not one to be forward and come up with good one-liners. I go for sarcastic humor. Poking fun at yourself can always ease a tense situation. I'd be looking to lighten the mood and make fun of all the press while poking a little fun of myself. Something like, "I bet their wondering who's legs are better shaven!"

Of course when the photographer asks you to look his way I'd have to say, "Smile and say pu$$y!" Who
i wouldn't
smile then?
I think to have any measure of success...rwbadley
Jun 13, 2003 7:28 AM
it may require speaking their language. If they spoke no English, (and I no French, Italian, etc) I suppose a few silly sight gags might get the ball rolling.

Fantasy being what it is... I guess I would try from a few angles to see what was appreciated. Maybe some 'hands on' humor. So what's a few face slaps?!

Wining and dining... then I think we all just want to skip to the bottom line of hot monkey lust.

Opening lines eh? 'I've got a cooler of fun, let's get sloppy drunk' might be a good start.

'I have some new feather pillows, and a twelve foot bed; bring your friends over, let's all have a big pillow fight!'

'How about a tandem ride?' could be a good backup after she stopped laughing.

'I just inherited ten million dollars and need help spending it' will have a near 100% success rate I am sure.

Sure, it's easy for me to be suave and debonaire sitting here at the 'puter in my raggedy bathrobe at 8AM. What most likely would issue from my mouth would be something like 'pthbbbbt allloooya gerbil gerbil'
LMAO rwbadley ! "nm"CARBON110
Jun 13, 2003 7:41 AM
too funny!_rt_
Jun 13, 2003 7:55 AM
i hear "pthbbbt allloooya gerbil gerbil" is very effective with attractive women.

rt - banana hammock
You just made my Friday how funny (nm)abicirider
Jun 13, 2003 8:05 AM
We have a winner (nm)godot
Jun 13, 2003 8:29 AM
Baby, you're going to look good naked...No_sprint
Jun 13, 2003 7:31 AM
and going for a ride on me!
Guaranteed not to work...godot
Jun 13, 2003 7:57 AM
"I slept with someone last night. Was it you?"
Funny, funny. You could follow it up withrwbadley
Jun 13, 2003 8:09 AM
'You wouldn't want me wasting all that good lovin' on someone else, would you?'

I'd be afraid of the reply to that one....
pickup lines never worked for me...here's what didJS Haiku Shop
Jun 13, 2003 8:02 AM
* motorcycle
* looong multicolored hair (this one's the kicker, really)
* body art
* two packs a day
* unhealthy live music habit
* bad f@#$ing attitude
* scary bathroom
* can of beer and takeout from last month in the fridge (and that's all)
* milk crate furniture
* unbeatable chess game

this, my friends, is the recipe for the entire gambit, not merely podium gals. you will be 100% irrestible to 80% of the female population of the planet earth. guaranteed.

alas, i am now a suburbian slob with short hair, a progressing forehead, wearing a 5 o'clock shadow on my legs. on weekends i've gone from staying up 'til 4 AM with tha crew, to getting to bed early so i can wake up 4 times through the eve, tending to my offspring. no longer do i don leather and boots, but lycra and funny silver italian shoes instead. no longer do i push 120 mph on two wheels, though 50 mph is just as (more) thrilling. no longer do i let my ego exceed my arse and get my teeth kicked in once a month--instead i am schooled weekly on a bicycle by guys 10 years my senior. no longer do i get up at the crack of noon-thirty and amble into work at 4:30 PM. now i rush home after work to change into my superhero costume, get smoochers from a 3 year-old, and ride to the ride.

finding out what's really important and eliminating what's not is a madman's occupation.

failing all that i'd probably say "hey baby...come to butt-head."

-J
huh!huh!huh! (nm)JL
Jun 13, 2003 9:08 AM
So which on the list did the misus fall for... (nm)MrDan
Jun 14, 2003 6:35 PM
easy .....Spirito
Jun 13, 2003 8:26 AM
speak from the heart, be honest, attentive and listen. it isnt bad to be direct either but timing is everything. women easily perceive whats in our eyes and its often our tongues and minds that get us booted from any invites for bedroom manouvers.

oh .... make sure you have clean hands/nails.

my favorite pick up line .... "hello ..... "

ciao
Spirito, don't forget the Courvoisier, baby! nmJS Haiku Shop
Jun 13, 2003 8:30 AM
How to pick up a podium girl.....joekm
Jun 13, 2003 9:14 AM
Just grab her by the thighs, that way she'll just bend at the waist and fold over your shoulder.

....much easier to carry that way...
and lift with the legs... nmDougSloan
Jun 13, 2003 9:18 AM
help me feed my puppy. he cries so much when i race all day..nmcolker
Jun 13, 2003 9:28 AM
nm
I once caught the eye of a podium girl......jesse1
Jun 13, 2003 9:36 AM
.....and I thought I had it made, but I made a slight mistake.
A buddy of mine told me to get noticed, I'd have to stuff a potato in my bike shorts.
I did that and got noticed....but she recoiled in horror! It was only afterwards that I found out the potato goes in the FRONT!!!! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
HAHAHAHA!!!!! nmnoveread
Jun 13, 2003 10:26 AM
ROTFL! nmJS Haiku Shop
Jun 13, 2003 10:30 AM
Hey, I have a friend in the film industry.................MR_GRUMPY
Jun 13, 2003 11:05 AM
..no, not "those" types of films. Maybe we could call him from my hotel room.
Podium girls, Give me ASU any daybabyhuey77
Jun 13, 2003 11:31 AM
Who needs a podium girl?? Those women are paid to be up there by the sponsors of the race. They more than likely do not care about cycling and do not even know the name of the person that they are kissing. If anyone would like to see what are argueably the hottest women in the United States, come to Tempe, Arizona during the fourth week of August when there are 30,000 women coming back to school at Arizona State University. It will be 110 and everyone of them will be in skimpy little shorts and a tank top. Your head will be on a swivel due to the amount of ass that is walking around!!
re: Friday Poll: okay, so if you actually CAUGHT a Podium Girl...Matt Britter
Jun 13, 2003 12:50 PM
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.
Bond. James Bond.
I have only three months to live. ..
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
Can I see your tan lines?
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Why? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Cheesy lines are so easy, heard a million of them.
-mb
re: Friday Poll: okay, so if you actually CAUGHT a Podium Girl...koala
Jun 13, 2003 2:50 PM
Offer her a ride into the sunset on my tandem.....
Caught onechar
Jun 14, 2003 4:16 PM
Bonjour!
See you next town, same place.
Charles
re: Friday Poll: okay, so if you actually CAUGHT a Podium Girl..Funston
Jun 14, 2003 8:20 PM
for me eye contact is primary and then should the feeling come I'd say something of the sort "I had to fight my way through a jungle full of lions and tigers and snakes for the honor to stand here and bask in the glory of it all.... you're here because you are so exquisitely beautiful.....and what a fukken dream come true it is to be here at this moment standing next to you .....do I get to take you home with me too?.....