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Trying to help a friend in bad shape(5 posts)

Trying to help a friend in bad shapestinkfoot247
May 22, 2003 8:51 PM
I just made my friend ride with me to the groceryy store about a 10 mile ride. except we never made it. infact she(friend) was so out of breath we only made a mile. She's been smoking for 23 years and wieghs 220lbs gets no excersise at all. I'm not exaggerating that she only made about 8mph on the flats. She was so out of shape it bewildered me you could be that out of shape. I really really want to help her. I can't stand to see her living such an unhealthy lifestyle cuz she's asking for a reduced life span. I want to get her in an excersise program. I was thinking I should get her to go to the doctor to get his word on what she should do. I don't know, how the hell do you motivate somebody to completely change their lifestyle. Any suggestions on what I can do to help. thank you very much.
It comes from withindeHonc
May 22, 2003 9:41 PM
Mr stink,

Whilst I think your intentions are admirable, I think this sort of change really needs to come from within the individual concerned. That doesn't mean that you can't be of assistance - but perhaps by getting your friend out on the bike might have started the ball rolling anyway - a moments reflection on her part might bring to focus her situation. I think you are doing what you can - being concerned, getting her out and about on the bike. Perhaps the best advise I could offer would be to start off with lesser challenges - perhaps a shorter walk on a regular basis. Good to see someone who gives a fu#$!

Good to have her see the doc.Eug
May 23, 2003 4:22 AM
You don't want to push her too hard. She'd either just quit or have a heart attack or whatever.

People like to have a riding partner, but not if it means they're constantly struggling just to keep up.
So true...biknben
May 23, 2003 7:34 AM
You've done almost all you can do. You helped her to realize she's in trouble. Hopefully she will realize what happened is not normal and shouldn't be acceptable. She is the only one who can change her ways.

She knows she is overweight and smokes. She knows it isn't helping her cause. Pointing out the obviuos may cause a problem. IMO, pray that she asks for help. Then make your move and try to help her. Go slow at first so it doesn't seem insurmountable.

My mother is very overweight. She's been that way all my life. Actually she never took off the birth weight and added to it. At this point she's in her low 50s, has trouble with stairs, and has other medical conditions related to her weight. She, apparently, chooses to live with it. She is a wonderfull person so I don't want to disrupt that. I keep my mouth shut out of respect. She's my mom...what can I say. At the same time I realize that she is shortening her own life.
Maybe start with a trip to the doc.djg
May 23, 2003 5:58 AM
If she'll go. In all likelihood, he'll suggest walking or even water-supported exercise to start. Cycling on level terrain is good, if done at a comfortable pace, in that the bike supports the weight.

Another thing he'll suggest, which is more of a trick, is that she stop smoking. It's more than possible that she already has pulmonary as well as cardio-vascular issues to deal with.

I wish you luck. My dad was not overweight but he smoked like a chimney. He quit about 7 years before they found the lung cancer--I really wish he were still here.