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Lil' Help(16 posts)

Feb 23, 2003 6:59 PM
Can someone help me construct a legal brief to help me sue a man I saw at the gym?

It all started last Thursday, when I was performing controlled supersets of pulminary contractions (with emphasis on the left ventrical combined with Aortal "negatives").

Anyway, I was feeling the pump in my massive thorax, when all of the sudden, in the corner of the floor-to-celing mirror, the shimmer of an olympic 45 pound plate caught my eye. Momentarily distracted from my own dazzling reflection, I turned toward the man hoisting the weight rhythmically.

Something about his thrusting hips, and his dipping glutes struck me as familiar in an almost dream-like way. I watched more closely as he finished his squats. As I wiped the sweat from my brow, I realized why I felt a sense of de ja vu watching him dip up and down and up and down!

It was clear he was stealing my squatting technique! I would know that form anywhere! Nobody rips me off and gets away with it. That is so immoral. I am going to sue this guys a$$ off! Here is my plan:

1) Get my mom to take me to the stationary store.
2) Compose a legal brief that does all of the following:
a) gets me outta my speeding ticket
b) settles my ebay fraud scandal (must be less than 1000$ canadian settlement, firm)
c) wins copyright infringement award of no less than 1,000,000 yen.
3) Stop my massive thighs from hitting my forehead when I type with my feet.

Please help me write this multi phase legal brief. Also, I think if you are looking for a spin instructor, you should have one that is awesome and neat like me.

Feb 23, 2003 7:28 PM
Noone steals my squatting technique let alone steals it without my beautiful legs. It doesn't do the technique justice. SHEESH!

Irregardless, I must say I laughed at your post.

Also suing him^ for massacre of the English language. NMPODIUMBOOB_DOT_CA
Feb 23, 2003 7:37 PM
haha thought you'd like that :) (nm)PODIUMBOUNDdotCA
Feb 23, 2003 7:49 PM
BTW, the word is "stationEry". Please be accurate. (nm)Alexx
Feb 24, 2003 5:39 AM
Oy! This is just great. Now flaming his alter ego. LOL! nmSpunout
Feb 24, 2003 4:23 AM
Oh, and BTW, what does irregardless mean? nmmainframe
Feb 24, 2003 5:45 AM
without disregard IOW a useless non-word. nmFrith
Feb 24, 2003 6:33 AM
lol nmcollinsc
Feb 24, 2003 9:46 AM
Now Peter. You went and gave yourself away.Kristin
Feb 24, 2003 10:11 AM
But the post was funny.
Peter? are you sure it isn't Nick? nmcyclopathic
Feb 24, 2003 12:55 PM
Yep. He pulled a Trollman.Kristin
Feb 24, 2003 1:01 PM
Just look at Peters posts from today and then look at PodiumBoobs.
Unless its a very clever person who wants us to THINKKristin
Feb 24, 2003 1:02 PM
that Peter is the troll. Hmmm. Elemetary!
You are one sly cat...biknben
Feb 24, 2003 2:07 PM
I'd be scared to pull a "Trollman" at this point. Getting caught seems equivelant to a firing line.

BiknBen (always BiknBen)
Did you see your dopleganger today?Kristin
Feb 24, 2003 2:11 PM
If not, look at the Who's Who post. Was that a bad movie or what?
once BiknBen always BiknBencyclopathic
Feb 24, 2003 3:16 PM
amen bro