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Is your spouse/S.O supportive of your biking?(47 posts)

Is your spouse/S.O supportive of your biking?Fez
Nov 12, 2002 8:34 AM
Is your spouse/S.O. supportive of your biking? Does she/he ride? If not, what does she/he do while your gone?

Just wondering how many of you do this every Saturday and Sunday morning at 9:00am: "bye, see you at 4:00pm"
Nov 12, 2002 8:49 AM
She has come to realize that cycling is part of who I am. And that I'm not a very nice guy unless I get to ride. Alot.

She does not ride, has no interest. While I'm gone, she sleeps, 'cause I usually leave at dawn. We make time for each other's passions. I'll ride while she's at church with the kids. I'll sneak out for an hour to do a hard session while she's busy doing something else. We each try not to inconvenience the other for our activities.

Do I ever leave at 9 and come back at 4?? Rarely. I'll take a couple of weekend trips per year. Maybe a couple of all day club centuries per year (driving time equals hours extra). This coming summer, I'm going to do a weeklong tour. I'll be throwing my name into the lottery for Ride for the Rockies. The vacation was my wife's suggestion.

Not outgoingly supportive...biknben
Nov 12, 2002 8:57 AM
...but she doesn't give me a hard time either. There are things far worse and expensive I could be doing with my time and money.

My wife also has a time consuming and expensive hobbie of her own. We check with eachother about scheduling and work it out. We often cross paths at the front door. I'm returning and she's walking out the door. We have two little kids so someone has to be home.
tolerates it (barely)DaveG
Nov 12, 2002 8:57 AM
My wife has grudgingly accepted my cycling, but is not particularly happy about it. I have to balance fun (cycling) vs guilt.
re: Is your spouse/S.O supportive of your biking?tigermilk
Nov 12, 2002 9:02 AM
She did up until I broke my hip this year in a ride. Ever since then she hates the bike. She still tolerates it and I make it easier on her by spending plenty of time indoors on the Computrainer and avoid poor conditions (weather, traffic, etc).
re: Is your spouse/S.O supportive of your biking?GileyD
Nov 12, 2002 9:14 AM
She tolerates it but is not amused by the amount of money I throw at it! She realises if I don't get to ride I am a miserable git, so best to let me out to play!

We have two small kids so she looks after them while I ride, though I do return the favour when she wants to go out with her friends!

Since kids rarely ride for more than 4 hours tops as it really wouldn't be fair, though usually get one or two riding weekends a year in.
Nov 12, 2002 9:17 AM
Most of my daily training is done while she's asleep, but she gives her full support during waking hours; comes to all my races, rides alongside my long training runs (carrying replenishment, yet), accepts responsiblity as my 'buddy' during my (otherwise solo) open-water swims. Doesnt mind my (occassionaly) dropping her on the rides. Tolerates my incessant babble about nothing.

I try to participate in her pursuits with equal enthusiasm. One of the greatest joys in marriage, imo.
re: Really good day to day, not so good on events - nmdzrider
Nov 12, 2002 9:17 AM
She accepts that I'm going to get out for a ride or run six days a week. She practically never complains and asks only for an early start on long workouts and well estimated return time.

Using vacation time to go off and do brevets or ultra-marathons is not so well received. She'd rather go to Iowa and visit her sister or something like that. One of these years we'll go out to Iowa so they can talk, do farm chores and garden while I ride the 1000k. Their jaws are way tougher than my legs!
re: Is your spouse/S.O supportive of your biking?theeatkins
Nov 12, 2002 9:24 AM
Even though my wife has done some serious cycling, she seems to have forgotten the need to have long rides to stay in shape. If I can get out for a 4/5 hour ride every other week, I'm lucky. She gets paranoid about me and traffic. Even a couple of hours every other day is getting to be a problem. We are going to be sitting down this weekend for a heart to heart discussion about the subject.
Cheaper & takes less time than a heart attack.cory
Nov 12, 2002 9:29 AM
Used to be a minor problem when we were younger, but as I got into my 50s and we saw friends get fat or drop dead, the idea of me riding a few hours a week got more attractive. Costs a lot less than bypass surgery, and I'm home more than I would be if I were in the CICU.
After nearly 30 years of marriage, though, I have to say that if you're gone "every Saturday and Sunday" from 9 to 4, you're asking for trouble. Might be time for a little compromise. This isn't a holy crusade, it's just bicycling.
Nov 12, 2002 9:32 AM
My wife and daughter would travel with me to races when I was competing. My wife loved to go to the Chicago marathon while I ran it and she volunteered a couple of years. I no longer race and just train. I try to schedule my training between everything else in life, family and work. I usually wind up sacrificing sleep to train. My wife doesn't care for all the cash that goes into running, cycling and my motorcycle but she does realize that without my toys, I'm not someone you want to be around.
ex-wife no, current GF yes. (nm)rtyszko
Nov 12, 2002 9:39 AM
Very much...desert-rider
Nov 12, 2002 9:42 AM
Considering that she is very active in Tri's, and is currently training for an IronMan event. We try to get in a ride or two a week together, and try to balance schedules around each other's training (her's being about 3X of mine right now). Plus, we crew for each other....I go to all of her triathlon's (bike support, chaufer, massage, cheering, etc...), and she's done the same for my races (including three 100 mile mnt bike races....10-11 hrs is a long time for support....I'm still trying to pay off that debt...)

As a few others have said, she also realizes what a grouch I can become w/o riding often enough, and will tell me so. An then tells me to go riding....
I think so.fracisco
Nov 12, 2002 10:19 AM
GF understands that I need to do the weekday morning group rides, and that I like to do at least 1 weekend group ride, too. When she works on the weekends, it works out really well, because she has to be at her place of employment at 6:30am. When I can (i.e. I'm not at her place and she's not at mine), I will also get out and do a solo weekday ride.

But the weekend group rides get me home by 11am, noon at the latest, so it's not like I'm out all day. In any case, I like going out at night and playing, so you can't do it all and have to keep us both happy.

She hasn't complained about it. She laughs when she sees cycling on TV, because the guys are generally 'girly men' in tight shorts. She doesn't mind the tight shorts bit.
You crack me up!53T
Nov 12, 2002 1:02 PM
How luck you are to have an understanding GF! Of course, you are both single, employed and have no kids and don't live together! I would be very worried if she gave a rats ass about what you did in your spare time. Enjoy your youth, tempis fugit.
No, she never pulls.Snyder
Nov 12, 2002 10:38 AM
Actually she does not get out as often as I do so she is envious of the time I get on the bike. She is very supportive when she can ride with me, but she does not like me riding with the group on Sunday morning. She cannot stay with the group that I ride with, and she is not interested in finding a group ride that she can hang with...It only seems to become an issue once in a while.

great idea for a thread.
My bike is my S.O. (nm)OffTheBack
Nov 12, 2002 10:49 AM
re: She rides with me!netso
Nov 12, 2002 10:53 AM
My wife rides with me. This is one of our fun times, a way to spend time together and great exercise to boot. I have been married 36 years!!!
I ride with her (when she wants).MB1
Nov 12, 2002 11:13 AM
Perhaps 14,000 miles together this year.

Can't think of anything much better than riding with your wife-except when you get dropped.
Not hardlyMcAndrus
Nov 12, 2002 11:35 AM
My bikes are "the other women." Every moment I'm on a bike is one she doesn't have (the other 12 waking hours a day don't seem to count, I guess).

Last summer I talked her into going with me to watch a crit I took part in. I watched the race ahead of mine and she read a book. When I left her to line up for my race, she was reading a book. When I returned she asked "how did you do?" When we stayed for watch the race after mine she read a book. I learned my lesson and never asked again.

I could go on but I'm depressing myself.
Not hardly53T
Nov 12, 2002 12:59 PM
It is sad that she chose the event to send you a message rather than sieze the chance to bring you closer together. It is not just the man who has to work at a relationship, it is anyone who wants it to work. Better luck with your next lady.
24 years next weekMcAndrus
Nov 12, 2002 1:40 PM
She's my first (and so far only) wife. Actually she used to bike with me often. We still have the tandem we used to tour several times around Michigan when we lived there. We had great fun. I particularly enjoyed the kidney punches I'd get if I pushed the pace too hard. :-)

I still don't know why but then she lost interest in cycling and things went from bad to worse. Cycling won't split us up. We're too old and settled in our ways. But some of the fun is gone. Alas .....
that's a sad postDaveG
Nov 12, 2002 4:55 PM
That's just sad. I don't feel as bad about my situation. While my wife's not into my cycling, she at least tries to occasionally fake some interest.
Absolutely & totally supportiveRickC5
Nov 12, 2002 11:42 AM
Her bikes are equal to mine and she rides as much as she can. Health problems kinda messed up the last half of the season for her, but we're planning ahead for next year.

Being that I'm a portly clydesdale, she would like me to ride more, to lose weight.
I told her that I did it before her and I'll do it...merckx56
Nov 12, 2002 11:50 AM
if and when she decides to go!
Yes, big time!velocity
Nov 12, 2002 12:03 PM
My wife appreciates and encourages my passion for cycling. She even surprises me with great cycling gear as gifts.
he's recently volunteered to be my "bottle carrier"lonefrontranger
Nov 12, 2002 12:08 PM
My SO and I both train and race at the same level. Recently he's been less interested in racing, and I've become a lot more motivated and focused. A few weeks ago we had a discussion about my goals. I'm giving myself 2 more years to really work at racing before I hang it up and get serious about career and family. My ultimate goal is to podium at Master's Nats, and I'll have to be a strong Cat II to do that. He has volunteered himself as soigneur and support for the duration, and has also agreed to shoulder part of the financial burden of getting me there. I'll probably have to marry the silly sack in repayment :)
geee, LFRRode Warrior
Nov 13, 2002 2:01 PM
Too bad you have to marry someone who cares about you so much.

Steve (just needleing you a little)
Nov 13, 2002 2:24 PM
It's okay, this decision was made based on seven years of cohabitation. He wants to make an honest woman of me, and claims sending me racing for a couple years is cheaper than sending me through college. either way at the end I'll have to do my duty and go through that whole barefoot-and-pregnant ordeal :P
:)Rode Warrior
Nov 13, 2002 2:49 PM
Don't let my wife hear that she has to be barefoot and pregnant. She has no intention of that, and I have no intention of making her. We are happy as we are.

Too bad you have to marry someone who cares about you so much. :) Steve (just needleing you a little)Rode Warrior
Nov 13, 2002 2:01 PM
well that was weird...nmRode Warrior
Nov 13, 2002 2:03 PM
Supportive & lookin' to buy a road bike(still on mtb w/slicks)nmjtferraro
Nov 12, 2002 12:39 PM
re: Is your spouse/S.O supportive of your biking?aliensporebomb
Nov 12, 2002 1:12 PM
In the past, she actually was the one who encouraged me
to ride.

I'd been away from biking for 8 years and after my mom
died and my wife had a miscarriage it was depression city.

So she bought me a mountain bike. Little did she know this
was like giving a junkie heroin. One moutain bike, one
road bike and one commuter bike later plus about 2600
miles or so here I am.

But then she had to know why I liked it so much and we bought her a good bike.

She's done nearly 400 miles this season which is a lot
for her considering last season she did under 8 miles
total and under 5 the year before that.

The bug has bitten.

She's slower than I am, but considering this is her first
year of serious riding I'd expect that.

Just recently we rode from our place to her workplace and
back to see if it would be feasible. She did great - I
think she can do it.

The biggest issue is that my own riding pace tends to be
a lot faster so sometimes I have to balance slower shorter
rides with her with rides with my faster hammerhead friends.

The way I see it, I have the best of both worlds.

Last night I put together a trainer for her bike so she'll
be doing that to keep her legs nimble this winter. Kind of
cool - my wife with a mag trainer, heh.
One word - tandemMcAndrus
Nov 12, 2002 1:34 PM
If you have the money, consider investing in a tandem. It's the perfect solution for riding partners who just can't go the same speed.
It beats drinking and woman chasingTig
Nov 12, 2002 2:32 PM
My wife fears I'll get hurt, but otherwise has no problem as long as I don't spend the bill money. She knows I'd become a grumpy, half-crazed ogre if I didn't ride. Her first husband ran around chasing women, so this is a far better hobby in her eyes.
Are you sure?grzy
Nov 13, 2002 2:47 PM
I mean, how do you know? ;-b
I am printing this thread and keeping it for my future wife.toronto-rider
Nov 12, 2002 2:34 PM
Great post, I would love if my future gf/wife would be into cycling. If I find a significant other who does not support my riding I am going to give her this to read, so she knows that there are other people out there like me where cycling is one of the most important activites in their lives.
re: Is your spouse/S.O supportive of your biking?PseuZQ
Nov 12, 2002 3:26 PM
I have no SO. (Does that make me so'less?) I've decided that I couldn't date a guy who didn't ride. Thankfully, ratios favor me.

I actually ride fairly frequently with a colleague who's married and has two little kids. He keeps showing up, so I guess his wife thinks it's least, I hope so...hmm...maybe I should to make sure my steerer tube hasn't been sawed halfway....
Varies with the season.theBreeze
Nov 12, 2002 4:15 PM
My husband's support varies depending on how many miles I'm putting in during the week. Two longish rides on a weekend are generally a no-no. I am sometimes resentful at having to negotiate riding time, but it does tend to make life less stressful.

I did a week tour in Colorado this summer. He and the kids (ages 9&13) hiked and camped and met me a couple places along the route. That was nice.

It's great that some couples can ride together and have a great time (MB1 & Miss M are a lesson to us all.) But I like having cycling all to myself.
Nov 12, 2002 4:57 PM
I must say I am fortunate. She goes to every race, ( even when its pissing rain and cold ) supports me buying one new bike year ( since my bikes average $4k ) She makes my meals for racing, read up on nutrition with me, goes to all my local crits and screams my name ... and other things. She helps me with directions, drove to New England for a stage race this year. She is at every feeding zone, encourages me to get on my bike, exchange massages. So I bought her a Trek 5500 last year for her B-day.She loves it and we ride now an then together, I taught her how to shift and use clipless pedals. Now, she picks up my magazines, wants to gothe gym with me and workout. She doesnt wnt to race, but she supported me increasing my hours this year. She just expects some consideration return though. Like my sheduel a week in advance,where Iam goig, to call her after 3hours on the bike and let me know how much longer I will be, to make her dinner a couple times week and go dancing. She know as much about bikes from my loquatious babble ten the bike shop employes. She actually has corrected them once or twice LOL. I take an equal interestin her activities to, creative art and pottery. O yeah, I tell her every time sh puts her shorts on how good she looks and I give her the best kiss before I leave..... it goes a long way :)
Moreso than I could ask!4bykn
Nov 12, 2002 5:02 PM
I found out how supportive she truly was/is a little more than 3 years ago when I crashed, broke my pelvis, and spent 73 days in the hospital. She never once brought up the subject of me quitting the sport. She doesnt ride, except around town once or twice a year with the kids. What does she do while I'm riding? Whatever she wants, since that's what I'm doing. She never even flinched when I spent over two grand on a bike, even after the accident.

For better or for worse? I'm waiting for the worse, it just keeps getting better after 22 years.
NICE 4bykn ! " nm "CARBON110
Nov 12, 2002 5:11 PM
99% of itUncleMoe
Nov 12, 2002 5:24 PM
The one glitch we have is family weekend get togethers. I like to bring my bike to get out and do a 2 hour ride in locations I normally can't. She wonders why I can't go without riding. My point is "but this is cool cause I never get to ride here, and I'll be back before you know it".

It usually is an issue during the planning phases of the trip. Once we are there and I go, she does realize that I was barely missed and I keep the rides under 2 hours.
Yes but not thisChainstay
Nov 12, 2002 7:17 PM
Marilyn says "Yes I am supportive as long as your ass is on the bike. I am not supportive when you are sitting on your ass reading cycling threads all night" Bye
Yes but not thismosovich
Nov 12, 2002 7:40 PM
I second that! I get so much crap about reading cycling sites, but none about riding. I guess one out of two aint bad.
Yes, but...look271
Nov 14, 2002 10:21 AM
It is difficult to get the "OK" to do longer rides, say of more than 3 hrs. I have to plan those carefully.