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racing in Belgium: a funny.....(8 posts)

racing in Belgium: a funny....._rt_
Nov 6, 2002 11:38 AM
This was written by Americans racing in Belgium:

75 Euro Racing Truisms

1. You will be confused.
2. You will begin to understand the metric system.
3. You will start to comprehend temperatures in Celsius.
4. You will feel more patriotic.
5. You will wonder why American money is one color.
6. Going to the supermarket is an adventure.
7. You will buy things at the supermarket that you don't need (because they look cool)
8. You will get tired.
9. You will get sick.
10. You will get tired of race food.
11. Waiters will get you anything you want.
12. You will miss good Tex-Mex/Chinese food.
13. Waiters cannot get you a burrito (no matter how much you ask).
14. You will get tired of hotels.
15. You will wonder why windows have no screens.
16. There are a lot of bugs in Europe.
17. You will watch a lot of BBC.
18. You will watch a lot of Mtv.
19. You will see a lot of television that you don't understand.
20. You can actually buy beer at the movies.
21. There will be one American song that you will hear incessantly.
22. You will hear Euro-techno-pop-dance-crap at all hours of the day.
23. You will want to buy a scooter.
24. You will wonder why America doesn't import small/fast/nimble/economical/well designed Euro cars.
25. You will wonder why more cars in America are not turbo diesels.
26. You will rarely see an SUV.
27. You will be amazed at how fast people drive.
28. You will be amazed at how narrow the roads are.
29. Drivers will not yell at you while you train.
30. You will motorpace behind random scooters.
31. UCI Races are fast.
32. Kermis races are faster.
33. You will race a lot.
34. You will see very high heart rates.
35. You will use your 53-11 regularly, even uphill
36. You will wish to trade in your 39 chainring for a 42 or higher.
37. You will love your bed.
38. You will cherish the act of sleeping.
39. You will despise the act of cooking and eating.
40. You will love the bread.
41. You will love anything for sale in a bakery.
42. Everything in Europe tastes better.
43. You will begin to understand a foreign language (or three).
44. You will drop out of races.
45. You will try to win races.
46. You will never win a West Flanders kermis. If you do, people will think you bought it.
47. You will hear rumors of drug use.
48. You will suspect drug use.
49. You will be frustrated that the same people win multiple Kermis
races, yet never turn pro.
50. You will get tired of hearing people talk about doping.
51. Race promoters will always find cobblestones.
52. Race promoters will always find a really annoying hill (or mountain, or two).
53. Race promoters will always find at least one dangerous turn.
54. Race promoters will always play either techno or polka music at the start of the race.
55. You will have this song stuck in your head for the entire drive home.
56. Euros do not like turning.
57. Euros will fight for every centimeter of space.
58. You will be cut off regularly.
59. You will curse at other riders and they won't understand you.
60. You will eventually get used to racing strung out in the gutter.
61. You will never warm up with your helmet on.
62. No one will ever yell at you for not wearing a helmet.
63. You will crash.
64. You will wear shoe covers, leg and arm warmers even in the summer.
65. You will see riders racing on equipment that you wouldn't train on.
66. These riders will beat you on a regular basis.
67. You will learn to get by without things you once thought you needed.
68. People you hardly know will help you.
69. People you hardly know will wish you luck.
70. You will see a lot of spectators at races.
71. European women wear very tight clothing.
72. Belgian women have bizarre taste in hair color/styling.
73. You will suspect that Belgians either don't have dentists, or don
and a response from a Belgian_rt_
Nov 6, 2002 11:42 AM
I got the 75 truisms from a guy that i raced with in NC last year (who is now racing for UC Boulder). i forwarded it on to a bunch of people who forwarded it on etc. eventually it ended up in the inbox of a guy who races in Belgium. here's his response
-------------------

heeeey

well, all i can say is... all of this is really true!!! Except the thing about belgians not having a dentist, i don't think it's that bad :D

BTW, a kermis = a fun fair
Most of the time, there will be a fun fair when there is a race. Pretty much every town has a fun fair at least once a year, and that weekend they organize the races. It is really fun, there are always hundreds of spectators then.

The thing about winning in west-flanders is also true, it really is, that's where i'm from, and pretty much every race is 'sold'. What they say about drugs etc... all true, unfortunately. Racing in europe is really hard and a lot more competitive than US, but the atmosphere among riders is very different too, there is no friendship.

but still, it's very funny!!!

-------------------
amazing place, the internet!

rt
That's great. Funny.Sintesi
Nov 6, 2002 1:46 PM
In the interests of completeness ...Allez Rouge
Nov 6, 2002 2:13 PM
... what are the other two-and-a-half truisms? Your list got cut off partway through #73.
whoops!_rt_
Nov 8, 2002 6:32 AM
better late than never i guess....

73. You will suspect that Belgians either don't have dentists, or don't understand the necessity for flouride.
74. You will miss your girlfriend.
75. You will be happy that you're not racing in an industrial park, again.

rt
Thanks for the rest ... funny, funny stuff! (nm)Allez Rouge
Nov 8, 2002 7:05 AM
laughed out loud! good ending to a bad work day!velocity
Nov 6, 2002 2:26 PM
I'm with Allez Rouge -- what are the remaining two-and-a-half euro racing truisms?
Was VERY aware of 71 during a summer in London (nm)TrekFurthur
Nov 7, 2002 11:39 AM