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OK, engineers, finish this story ...(7 posts)

OK, engineers, finish this story ...Humma Hah
Oct 30, 2002 2:40 PM
Below there's a topic that reveals the number of cycling engineers here. We all know the classic stories about the mathemetician, physicist, and engineer. In one episode, they're all facing death by guillotine, in another they can have the girl if they can figure out how to reach her while overcoming one of Zeno's paradoxes.

So this one starts:

A physicist, a mathemetician, and an engineer are out for a pleasant bike ride when they encounter an attractive young lady on the side of the road, with a broken bicycle.

Surely this opening could lead to a classic tale ... anyone care to suggest a second line?
Stumped? Me too. How about this one.Humma Hah
Oct 30, 2002 3:57 PM
A mathemetician, a physicist, and an engineer are sitting in a park when a very attractive girl wearing skin-tight riding shorts and jersey rides by on a bicycle.

The mathemetician says, "That's remarkable. I wonder how those contraptions remain stable?" He pulls out a notebook and begins to concoct equations using differential calculus and trigonometry.

The physicist thinks a while and then states, "Obviously, the solution is heavily dependent on gyroscopic stability, and steering must rely on gyroscopic precession. There is no possible way a human being could have sufficiently quick reflexes to keep such a machine upright without gyroscopes."

Now figure out what the engineer says. Actually, we've got one upstairs, a PhD controls engineer named Dave Vos who is famous for building a self-driving unicycle that did not depend on gyroscopic stabilization in any way. Alas, that approach lacks humor, and says nothing about the fact that these three noticed the machine, not the girl.

So, what's the punchline?
I don't know what the punch line is...Spoke Wrench
Oct 30, 2002 5:10 PM
but I'd like to hear one in which a bike mechanic rides off with the girl.
Stumped? Me too. How about this one.53T
Oct 31, 2002 6:23 AM
The mathematician remarks, "That's amazing, how do they do that?"

The physicist replies, "Yes, they have come a long way with carbon fiber".

The engineer chimes in, "Carbon fiber?, I'm sure those were silicon".
The girl is in trouble.Uncle Tim
Oct 30, 2002 7:47 PM
The mathematician never approaches the scene of the trouble because as he gets half way to the girl he stops, starts again, goes halfway and stops, starts again, etc. etc...He is no help.

The Engineer ambles right over to the girl, quickly determines that he needs a special tool made in Japan and sets off on a quest for the special tool.

The Physicist applies principles of acceleration and inertia to approach the girl with the broken bike, but realizes that he is no help as he's devoted his life to studying the Uncertainty Principle and he isn't even sure if he is looking at a bike.
(slightly modified for independent encounters)...KSC
Oct 30, 2002 9:48 PM
The young lady says: "I'd love to sleep with you, but I need my bike fixed so I can take you back home to my bed".

The mathematician calculates the forces exerted on the broken section of the bike based on geometry, frame material, and the young lady's weight, estimates the time available to get her back home, and the strength of an orgasm with such a lovely lady and then rides on.

The physicist makes some similar calculations, goes to the hardware store, comes back with some tools and materials. In about an hour he comes back, applys a fix that will hold until they get back to her house. They ride home, but by this time they're both too tired for love making, so they part ways.

The engineer looks at the bike and heads off to the hardware store. He comes back in about an hour, lays a sleeping bag on the ground, and they make passionate love.
re: OK, engineers, finish this story ...Steve_0
Oct 31, 2002 6:00 AM
The engineer identified the point of failure
The mathematician suggested selling the bike so the young lady could replace the point of failure
And the physicist didnt want the bike fixed, as he wanted to study the impact of the failure on the bicycle's dymanics.