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clever retorts? (esp. ladies)(17 posts)

clever retorts? (esp. ladies)quinroo
Sep 10, 2002 4:58 PM
I was riding down mass ave today and, once again, heard the lovely sounds of honking and "ooh baby" etc, etc. i retorted with the exceedingly clever, though direct "SHUT UP!" (unfortunately yelled in a high-pitch girly voice, i don't even talk like that regularly). i was just wondering, ladies (or anyone else for that matter), if anyone knew of any clever retorts. i'm not looking to start fights, its just that after a while, you just gotta say something! i mean, do they expect that i'll chase after them, catch them at the next light and give them my number? :)
Not a lady, but...Leisure
Sep 10, 2002 8:37 PM
I would think anything that communicates indifference should work best. "yeah, whatever...", "snore...", etc. Sound bored and maybe a bit cynical. It won't necessarily get a rise out of anyone, but seriously I don't think that's what you want anyway. You also don't want them to think they're getting a rise out of you. I would think it best to make them feel put-off in a diffusing sort of way.
Why do you feel you gotta say something?Spoke Wrench
Sep 11, 2002 4:46 AM
Anything at all that you say or do rewards the jerks. They'll never get tired of harassing you as long as you continue to give them satisfaction. Sometimes the best response is none at all.
True, but sometimes...Fez
Sep 11, 2002 5:01 AM
you may run into jerks that really love the confrontation. Ignore them, and they keep trying, even harder and louder than the 1st time.

Maybe the solution is to shower them with some kindness, real or fake.
They're the best ones to ignore.Spoke Wrench
Sep 11, 2002 6:03 AM
They are desperate for a reaction because they realize they are making a fool of themselves and you don't appear to care. You are on the verge of success as long as you don't blow it.
re: clever retorts? (esp. ladies)joekm
Sep 11, 2002 5:02 AM
Ignoring them is probably the best but, once upon a time, a lady friend of mine was being harassed and mentioned the she wished she had a good response so I fed her the following line:

"Gwad, you're such a stud!, I think I'm just going to sit here and ovulate in your presence!"

Of course the context here was that it was sporting related (martial arts actually) and the guy was playing himself up as some kinda freakin' master to impress her.
I have to believe that a feverish "I want you. I want you now."bill
Sep 11, 2002 6:02 AM
would be so unexpected that it would be disarming.
The truth is that boys have a hard time relating to this as a problem. Boys grow up (or not) thinking that if they heard a young woman say "oooh baby" and honking and such that it would be the best day of their young lives. Turning it around just may accomplish something. Or not.
Heckler Comeback Linesrollo tommassi
Sep 11, 2002 5:07 AM
"Yeah, I remember my first beer too"
"Aren't you glad you got out of bed to say that?"
"Look, it talks!" (From Planet of the Apes)
"If I'd wanted to hear from an a-hole I would have farted"

Retort to someone saying "F* You" is "F* me and you'll go back to Men (or women, depending)
Again, not a lady, but...brider
Sep 11, 2002 5:23 AM
on one of my latest rides, as I was nearing home again, I was passed by a couple of high-schoolers with their windows rolled down. We were about 30 yards from a stop sign, and as they passed, one of them yells, "Nice butt." Well, these were two GUYS in the car. So as I got beside them at the stop sign, I look in and ask, "So, how's yours?" They laughed, and rolled on.

I've found the best way to deal with this is either ingorance (don't even react at all), or some sort of comedy.
My problem is quite the opposite.Sintesi
Sep 11, 2002 5:54 AM
No one ever honks at me and says "ooh baby." I just don't get that kind of action.
ADDENDUM:Sintesi
Sep 11, 2002 6:40 AM
My girlfriend told me of a day when she was getting unwanted attention from some aggressive creep she faked being deaf. She was acting in the play "Children of a Lesser God at the time. She signed and spoke like a deaf person would saying "I'm sorry I can't understand you I am deaf."

She said the guy was floored. Beat red. Tried to apologize, but realizing she couldn't hear he pannicked and ran away. She said it was the best thing she could have done.
lol. good one. nmfbg111
Sep 11, 2002 11:42 AM
my m.o., and a few suggestionsDougSloan
Sep 11, 2002 5:55 AM
My standard procedure is totally indifference, like I never even heard them or was even aware they existed. Over all, I think that's best. They get no satisfaction out of it, and you get to act like it had no effect on you whatsoever.

Sometimes that's not possible, because of the circumstances. I would suggest several options:

1. "Grow up."

2. "You're an idiot" or more succinctly, "Idiot."

3. "You wish."

4. "Pig."

5. "Jerk."

6. flash them

7. moon them

8. make that whacking off gesture (sorry for the image)

9. (really mess with them) "I'm a guy." (so, lie -- might not work for some, though; work on that deep voice)

10. Play along, good naturedly: "Hey, Sugar. Meet me after work?" (or "Bring it on!") (with big smile)

11. "I crap bigger than you." (--Curly)

12. Just laugh.

"The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved." --J. Russel Lynes (for more: http://mindyourownbusiness.com/insults.htm )

Doug
Somewhere, sometime, somehow, somebody must...cory
Sep 11, 2002 6:57 AM
...have scored after he drove by a woman walking or cycling and yelled, "HoooMONGGGRAAAeeeeeeEEEE BABY! WHOOO!" She must have looked over at him, realized his innate charm and intelligence and hopped in his back seat that very minute.
It MUST have happened, because otherwise why would guys keep doing it? Ever since high school I've been wondering, "What's the POINT of this?" And I'm a guy.
Probably the best thing to do is ignore them. I know that seems like you're afraid to respond, and it's not very satisfying. But flipping them the bird and shouting, "Oh, **** you" just isn't going to go where you want it to.
Thelma & Louise (nm)Stampertje
Sep 11, 2002 7:09 AM
Smith & WessonStarliner
Sep 11, 2002 9:48 AM
Please reject any violent notions the title of my response may suggest - in fact don't even consider anything threatening, because chances are it would be like spritzing some gasoline on a hot stove.

As long as they don't physically get in your face, just ignore them and keep riding. Words are just words. Pretend you are surrounded by a protective teflon aura, and that the energy behind those words will not stick to you. Keep in mind that for eons, women have done things to attract men, and men have responded like honeybees to a flower. That's not to say you were trying to fish for male attention, nor to excuse the rudeness of what came your way. It's just a realization of things in general which can lead to you unlocking your golden door of Permission where you'll find the power to separate youself from their energy so you can proceed on your way. To resist them and those who will follow is to allow their energy to stick to you, which you don't want, for it means you will be stuck carrying it around for awhile, and wondering how to get rid of it which is what you're essentially asking how to do now.
Any response is positive to these guys.Steve98501
Sep 11, 2002 2:02 PM
I think Cory is wrong in suggesting that at some time in history a guy actually scored by employing this behavior. I can't imagine any guy ever used it and scored. Of course, getting any response at all might be interpreted as a score. I doubt any guy actually expects a positive response in the first place. Therefore, any response at all is a positive one for guys doing this. I agree with the post indicating that if you cannot ignore it, you have to top it, or respond humorously. Adolescent and knuckle-dragging men seem hard-wired to behave this way (it might be their very best pick-up line), so it's probably never going to go away.