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Dude, Kill that funky smell...(15 posts)

Dude, Kill that funky smell...eschelon
Aug 19, 2002 8:02 AM
I'm sure all of us have done a group ride and have had the pleasure of smelling that special dude and all of his glorious b.o. funk. And if you haven't had that experience...I sh1t you not, you have not lived until you respirated the body funk of another dude on a group ride. Here I am talking to a guy next to about the joys of racing and bike riding in general at ~20mph...and then damn, it hits you like when you are swimming in a cool lake or pool and then all of a sudden the water feels really warm and then it's cold again. This funk is so bad, I could swear, if this guy in front of me put my head into a headlock by his pits, I could die quicker than trying to kill myself from carbon monoxide poisoning from my car. So please...if you even suspect you could be one these "special" God's creatures of body funk, please be kind to your fellow man and environment and liberally splash on some cheap cologne before you go riding (if showering is a logistical option) good 'ole Old Spice or Hero...and if you are a funk meister and don't have enough sense to suspect it or don't periodically smell your own pits to verify your own cleanliness.........GOD HELP YOU AND THE REST OF HUMANITY.
Skip the cheap cologne!filtersweep
Aug 19, 2002 8:20 AM
It only makes it worse.

I think there are a few issues/possibilities:

1- The dude with one set of bike clothes

2- The cycling anarchist (rides critical mass, never wears deodorant, thinks a few showers/week is plenty, likely doesn't own a car...)

3- The "ride in the morning I'm only going to get sweaty anyway dude so why shower now" guy

4- The dude who needs to see an endocrinologist

5- Cheapo synthetic fabric clothing that can cause anyone to stink
This guy I ride with has earned the name SnugglesPack Meat
Aug 19, 2002 8:45 AM
Because his wife cleans his stuff and adds an overdoese of fabric softner. It is truly as haneous and hard to breath behind him as it is behind the guy that brings one kit to a 4 day stage race.
Fabric Softener = BADjromack
Aug 19, 2002 11:12 AM
Fabric softeners actually ruin coolmax materials ability to absorb, then evaporate moisture.

The fabric softeners actually coat the Coolmax material fibers with a wax-like substance.
re: Dude, Kill that funky smell...PaulCL
Aug 19, 2002 11:10 AM
It's always that guy who doesn't see a need to wash his clothes in between rides. One guy mentioned to me that washing his shorts/jersies only made them wear out faster. Yech! I almost offered to buy him a new pair of shorts.
Avoiding The Bad Kind Of FunkyGregory Taylor
Aug 19, 2002 12:14 PM
The primary weapon in my personal de-funkification arsenel is Vinegar. Throw in a half cup of distilled white vinegar with the wash and you will kill virtually any funk, stench, stank, odor, B.O., whatever, that is of organic origin. Even in cheap poly jerseys.

Haven't had to use the V-bomb on hand-wash only jerseys, but I tend to wash them immediately after I smell them up. Woolite works fine.
The advice of a professional.SnowBlind
Aug 19, 2002 12:49 PM
Vodka in a spray bottle.
This from my wife who has 10+ years of theatre costume experence.
A little tipAlex-in-Evanston
Aug 19, 2002 1:13 PM
I don't like wearing anti-perspirant when I'm riding. If it's a long weekend morning ride - I wake up, shower, baby powder my armpits and chest, put on the jersey. Anti-perspirant/deodorandt restricts sweating by clogging sweat gland pores, which I don't really think is a good thing during exercise. It also turns the jersey white in the armpits. Baby powder works great for keeping you clean smelling.

no Aerosol please!preacher
Aug 19, 2002 2:13 PM
Rode with a guy once who smelled his shirt befor the ride and it stunk so bad he began to spray it with aerosal deodorant. It was worse than sucking the fumes from a school bus. Go with non-scented deodorant and no heavy aftershave.
It can ruin your ride!Tig
Aug 19, 2002 2:19 PM
It doesn't take long in a 10 or 12-person paceline to figure out the culprit. Watching people try to maneuver to avoid being directly behind one of these funky monkeys can be entertaining at least!

Prevention is simple, but some people just don't get it:
Wash jersey and shorts after EACH ride.
Wash body with soap EACH day (anti-bacterial soap for the pits please).
Use deodorant/antiperspirant EACH day.
I can only imaginePhatMatt
Aug 19, 2002 2:34 PM
But it can not be that bad. Try going to your local Hockey pond (ice rink) and breath deeply when the high schoolersw are their. I have not encountered a stench like that of Hockey stench. I Fabreez my equipment after everytime I play as well as try to wash it bi-monthly and my jerseys get washed about every session or at the very most every other session. there is just no getting rid of it toatly. This is why I probably have never smelt the bike stench.

True B.O. Funk story...Lone Gunman
Aug 19, 2002 4:21 PM
I was working in Saudi Arabia at a project that was staffed by a multitude of nationalities. At thursdays board meeting, my boss walks into the room which had windows on one side. The room had a long oak conference table with chairs on each side. My boss would aways "chair the meeting" by sitting at the head of the table. In attendance of the meeting were the Belgiums, Brits, Koreans. The Belgiums either didn't like to shower daily or use deodorant in general and they funked.

Now my boss, is best described as a man who had short mans syndrome and he had polio as a child. He wore a stepped up shoe and walked with a limp. He was very stern, methodical, logical, and ruled with force and the fear of god.

At the start of the meeting, he walks into the room, closes the door and walks along side the table nearest the windows and opened each window until he got all of them open. He sat down at the head of the table and looked down each side of the table over top of his reading glasses and his opening comment for the meeting was "who failed to use their underarm deodorant today?" The Belgiums knowing it was themselves, knew that they were in for a long meeting.
LOL! So what happened?ColnagoFE
Aug 20, 2002 8:37 AM
Did they fess up? I have this theory that people with bad BO can't really smell their own funk. And if you have funk that bad no matter if you use deodorant or not you probably should get checked by the doc. If you shower daily you may not even need deodorant. and often bad (or too much) cologne is just about as gnarly smelling as BO. why do people even buy old spice? to smell like an old man!? and don't even get me started on how rank heavy smokers smell. it's like smelling dirty ashtrays the entire meeting.
Ain't smelled nothin'.Leisure
Aug 20, 2002 1:29 AM
Try spending eight hours on a hospital unit filled with GI-impacted elderly patients.
still ain't nothin'Turtleherder
Aug 20, 2002 6:29 AM
Try walking into a small, windowless conference room to meet a prospective client and realizing he has gangrene on his leg. There's a smell you won't forget for a long, long time.