|Snobs & roadies: defining some terms...||AllisonHayes|
Aug 5, 2002 5:39 AM
|So, which one are you? |
Snobbad - you detest anyone who is not at your high caliber and feel that anyone who isn't a Cat 4 or above should stick with a Huffy.
Snobwannabe - you aspire to being a Snobbad but don't have what it takes. You can "talk the talk" but can't "walk the walk". You nonetheless are probably more arrogant than the Snobbad because you have a compelling need to prove yourself to that elite class.
Snobbitch - you are a contrarian and detest anything that is "politically correct". You detest anyone who disagrees with you and will argue any point just to prove to others what a Snobbitch you are. Because you are 180 degrees out of whack, you are the worst kind of snob.
What other kinds of "snobs" are there?
Allison (only five days and counting until the weekend...)
Aug 5, 2002 5:58 AM
|How about "snoblabeler" - one who feels a need to label people, putting them into nice little pidgeon holes for simple reference and derision?
|oh yeah, I forget snobesquire...||AllisonHayes|
Aug 5, 2002 6:05 AM
|After their bikes broke down on a lonely country road, three cyclists sought a night's shelter at a farmhouse. The farmer, poor but eager to help them, said that he only had two beds so one of the three would have to sleep in the barn. |
Immediately, one of the cyclists, a polite Hindu mathematician, agreed and left for the barn. A short while later he returned and apologetically explained that there were cows in the barn and for religious reasons he could not sleep there.
Another of the guests, a conservative rabbi, volunteered, picked up his bedding and left for the barn. It wasn?t long before he returned complaining that the pig in the barn made it impossible for him to sleep there.
The last of the stranded trio, a lawyer, sighed and grudgingly picked up his bag and shuffled off to the barn.
Soon, there was another knock at the door. When the farmer answered it, there were the cows and the pig.
Allison (just kidding, I know you like Animal House)
Aug 5, 2002 6:13 AM
|A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said 'get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"
Aug 5, 2002 6:16 AM
|Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work.
"I don't understand," Cindy complained. "When people find out I'm a lawyer, they take an instant dislike to me. Why would they do that?"
Her friend appeared to think for a moment and then suggested, "Maybe it just saves time."
Aug 5, 2002 6:18 AM
|Q. What do you get when you cross a lawyer and the Godfather?
A. Someone who will make you an offer you can't understand.
|Bugs Bunny, Esq.||AllisonHayes|
Aug 5, 2002 6:24 AM
|A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients. The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the donor lawyer's name. |
One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, ...
"That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls."
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer.
"How?s it going?" he was asked.
"Not too bad," he replied. "I still have my lantern."
|All their bikes broke down at once? nm||ohmk1|
Aug 5, 2002 6:32 AM
|hmm, maybe they were riding Litespeeds...:) nm||AllisonHayes|
Aug 5, 2002 6:39 AM