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I'm a snob!(13 posts)

I'm a snob!AaronL
Aug 1, 2002 10:37 AM
I'm a roadie snob, and proud of it.

Why do I say this? Because I see way too many dorks out there who spent WAY too much money riding very expensive bikes that they have no idea how to really ride, and wearing clothes that just make me shudder.

For example, last night on the local racer's ride we were on our cool-down section of the ride when some Fred jumps in, riding a Seven ti, with full Record (naturally, he looked like the typical Docker-wearing, hard parted hair combed tech-nerd type that would buy such a bike). The guy has his giant T-shirt underneath his bibs and is wearing tube socks and mtb shoes. God, i wanted to hook him right then and there.

Road riding is a snobby sport, there is no room for those of you who want to be happy and just ride. None whatsoever. If you want to be an individual, take up another sport. There is a long history of elitism in this sport, and it's for good reason. We want to keep you dorks out of our sport. I think at one time there was even a secret roadie handshake, but, once again, outsiders helped that go the way of Modolo brakes.

I think that anyone who buys a bike over $3k should have to pass not only a riding skills and fitness test (let's face it, do you REALLY need a Seven ti with Record if it takes you 8 hours to ride a century and your gut bangs the top tube?), he/she must also be evaluated in the clothing he/she will wear while out riding. If the words "T-shirt" or "neon" are used during any part of the test, the individual will not be allowed to purchase a high-end road bike until he/she can display competence in correct cycling fashion.

Ride a Seven/Colnago/Serotta, then expect to be ridiculed. That should be the law.

And another thing. When I'm out for an easy recovery spin and you come up flying behind me, don't slow down, jump on my wheel and just sit there like an idiot. You were going faster than me to get there, just go around. I didn't ask you to get on my wheel.

Think of it like this. When you go to the park and you see some guys playing football/basketball, do you just join the game without saying a word? Hell no you don't. It's the same on the road.

All tongue-in-cheek, of course.

AL
no you're not...merckx56
Aug 1, 2002 11:11 AM
I think a lot of people feel this way. The big problem where I live is the Friday "beer" ride. It's supposed to be the 16mph fun ride every week and it turns into the Friday night World Championships. The racers don't drive the pace either. It's the people who you mention that want to go 28 mph, just to show the racer-dudes they can! Great, come out on Tuesday night to the practice crit and let us kick your ass for 60 minutes. None of them will ever show, trust me!
I always say, "Just because you can afford a road bike, doesn't mean you should have one!"
And your beard should be at lest 10" long nmtz
Aug 1, 2002 11:15 AM
huh?merckx56
Aug 1, 2002 12:26 PM
re: I'm a snob!xxl
Aug 1, 2002 1:36 PM
Ah, but don't these fat-but-well-financed slobs help keep prices down, and high-end road manufacturers in business? I mean, imagine if only the people who genuinely needed a Seven or a Dream were allowed to buy them? What would that do to production-based economies of scale? Plus, it's those guys, and their fellow travelers the techno-freaks, that allow high-end innovations to trickle down to the masses, while they shoulder the costs associated with being early adopters. (Prediction: Those $800 carbon cranks that are being pitched will eventually come on $800 bikes.)

I, too, suffer greatly from bicycle/class envy; my "new" bike is a 1984 Schwinn Peloton, for chrissakes. Damned near every ride, I'm going to see several bikes, all much tastier than mine, piloted by lesser riders (and I know they're lesser riders, because I just have to pass them! I did say I suffer from envy, [present tense], I didn't say I had overcome it; there are lingering issues I need to address... : ) But, I realized that, really, it's my problem, not some other rider who's lucky enough to have a sweet ride that I'd sell one of my children for. You really have to watch this sort of thinking; it's how retro-weenies get started.

If it helps, ride by 'em, all friendly-like, and ask them lots of pointed/inane questions about their rides ("Wow, how much faster do you think you can go now?" "Are those machined dropouts, or laser-cut?" Or my personal fave, "I've heard that [insert brand here] are built in [insert name of second-tier emerging country here] by the same company that makes [insert third-tier brand name here]; is that true?" Or even a simple, "Your bike's pretty.") Think Gomer Pyle here, and you'll get the idea.

[Also tongue-in-cheek, sort of. I still want a better bike, even if the only way I'll clock a 25mph pace for any respectable distance is if Colnago makes one with a motor.]
my favorite....Steve_0
Aug 2, 2002 4:22 AM
"wow - I'll bet that bike cost over 300 bucks! Are you a pro?"
Whew, glad my Merckx came to less than $3K ...Merckx fan
Aug 1, 2002 2:35 PM
or I might feel insulted.
I'm a bowling snob! (oh spare me, puleeze)AllisonHayes
Aug 1, 2002 2:38 PM
I'm a bowling snob, and proud of it.
Why do I say this? Because I see way too many dorks out there who spent WAY too much money on their bowling balls. They have no idea how to really bowl, and they wear clothes that just make me shudder.

For example, last night on the local pro bowling league, we were on our 24th beer when some Fred jumps in with his girlfriend on his shoulders, bowling like one of the Seven Samari, with full blackbelt (naturally, he looked like the typical sushi-eating, hard parted hair combed tech-nerd type that would buy such a bowling ball). The guy did a complete kata before each throw. God, I wanted to hook him right then and there.



Bowling is a snobby sport, there is no room for those of you who want to be happy and just bowl. None whatsoever. If you want to be an individual, take up another sport. There is a long history of elitism in this sport, and it's for good reason. We want to keep you dorks out of our sport. I think at one time there was even a secret bowling handshake, but, once again, outsiders helped that go the way of manual pin setters.

I think that anyone who buys a ball over $100 should have to pass not only a bowling skills and sobriety test he/she must also be evaluated in the clothing he/she will wear while bowling. If the words "samari" or "Bruce Lee" are used during any part of the test, the individual will not be allowed to purchase a high-end bowling ball until he/she can display competence in correct fashion.

Bowl with a custom ball, then expect to be ridiculed. That should be the law.

And another thing. When I'm out for another beer and you come up want me to buy the next round, don't even think about it - just sit there like an idiot. You were drinking faster than me in the first place, just buy your own. I didn't invite you to my party.

Think of it like this. When you go to the park and you see some guys eating bratwurts, do you just grab one without being invited? Hell no you don't. It's the same in the bowling alley.

All tongue-in-cheek, of course.

ALlison (steerrriiiikkkkkkeeeeee twooooooo)
I'm a bowling snob! (oh spare me, puleeze)Bike Mike
Aug 1, 2002 3:49 PM
LOL Allison! Kinda puts everything in perspective, don't it?!? Good job!
I'm a dork..!Carbon fiber fanatik
Aug 1, 2002 3:08 PM
I can't wait till my "king" arrives.. I would write more, but i'm off to payless for a new pair of sneakers..
Arron, you are just another average jackass.spankdoggie
Aug 1, 2002 8:56 PM
An average jackass on an average bicycle.
Whatever dude. I have a $5,500 Serotta, and I was raised by a single parent on welfare.

I deserve my bike. I earned it.

1. I could kick your ass in person.
2. You are a jealous nerd.
3. I am faster than you.
Hey, Tigermickey-mac
Aug 1, 2002 9:09 PM
Your buddies on the golf board are asking where you are. ;-)
Hey, Tigerspankdoggie
Aug 1, 2002 9:13 PM
Now that made me laugh!!! mickey...
thank you.

Actually, I am not faster than aaron, but I can kick his ass, but would not do it. I am not a fighter.

Thanks again!!!

love,

spankdoggie