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You Know It's Hot Outside When...(6 posts)

You Know It's Hot Outside When...AllisonHayes
Jul 22, 2002 4:26 AM
* You can't ride because the asphalt is too soft.
* Two cyclists in the peleton spontaneously burst into flames
* Your jersey is ripe and the cab drivers are riper
* Cyclists now come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy"
* You need a spatula to remove your lycra bibs
* You prefer hot Cytomax over hot Cliff bars
* Your water bottle starts to boil spontaneously
* You determine your next rest stop by shade instead of distance.
* Pigs complain about sweating like rednecks
* A scalding hot shower still cools you down
* You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man
* Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one
* You wish your saddle was cloth seats instead of leather
* You are sweating in both directions -- up and down
* It's high noon and only cyclists are moving on the streets
* You burn your hand shifting
* Your girlfriend's (boyfriend's) braces blister your lips
* Your car overheats before you drive it
* Sunscreen only works after 6pm
* You see rednecks with a beer gut and big butt wearing shorts
* RWBadley (aaar dubbya) starts calling himself Booger and issues a public mea culpa to rednecks.

Stay cool out there,

Allison
Forgotten fewJuanmoretime
Jul 22, 2002 6:04 AM
You drink the power bar in your jersey pocket.

You know it's too hot outside and decide to stay in and watch American Flyer and sweat anyway.

Can't shift or brake your bike because you coroded your cables with sweat.

Farm dogs won't come out from under the porch and only make a half heaterd effort to bark at you.

Urinate dust.
I was in DougSloan's neck of the woods this weekend...fracisco
Jul 22, 2002 6:05 AM
And I got to drive the ride that he claimed to bonk on. Holy smokes, that is a long, long, long uphill slog. I was at Huntington Lake camping/sailing, and I didn't even go up to Kaiser Pass. Doug, if that's a normal training ride for you, then you are a machine!

It was 100 degrees in Fresno, and it didn't get cool until about 3000 feet above sea level.
re: You Know It's HUMID and Hot Outside When...Tig
Jul 22, 2002 7:02 AM
You have to recover from stopping at a light. The morning rides here are so humid and hot, riding, even at super-intense levels, is much cooler that stopping in the shade.
I hear yougrandemamou
Jul 22, 2002 8:29 AM
I'm in S. Louisiana and our lows are highs in some parts of the country. Towards the end of our Sat. morning group ride we stopped at a large intersection (lots of asphault). I thought I was going to die. I was so happy to get going again. The small breeze was welcome.

I don't get tired of riding but sometimes I do get tired of being hot. Get me off this freakin bike and into the AC.
re: You Know It's Hot Outside When...aliensporebomb
Jul 22, 2002 12:34 PM
Some more:

You know it's too hot to ride outside when:

-your helmet now resembles a cubist sculpture since it's melted into slag.

-the frame of your bike is all warped and melted due to the heat.

-there are permanent handprints in your handlebars now due to excessive heat and pressure.

-the fake molten lava paintjob on your bike is actually real molten lava.

-you see guys with full campy record carbon riding their
high-end bikes directly into the lake.