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You might be a Redneck if...?(24 posts)

You might be a Redneck if...?rwbadley
Jul 19, 2002 11:07 AM
A previous thread got me to thinkin' about this while out on my ride this AM.

I will not start with all the 'You might be a Redneck if' jokes/observations, tho' some are hilarious.

One post replied there is a difference between Redneck and $Poor. Yes, I agree on that completely, in fact, it would seem that Redneck and $Poor (at least very poor) may not go together at all.

I think my image of a Redneck is best described as >Intolerant<. And when I think of a parallel I can only relate this to:

Did you ever see the movie Easy Rider? There were several scenes in that movie that typify "Redneck" as I would use the word. I use Bubba to describe Redneck children of generally teens-20's age. Redneck in training if you will.

Does a Redneck need be white? I suppose intolerance comes in colors, but to me most Redneck may be classified as white, probably older age, tho' not required.

Very complicated... Does anyone else have their own definition we can compare to? What is a Redneck?

Are all New Yorkers obnoxious a$$holes?Dave Hickey
Jul 19, 2002 11:22 AM
You can't stereotype people. Prior to 9/11, if you asked the majority of the people in the US what they thought of New Yorkers, they'd would have said New Yorkers where obnoxious assholes. After 9/11, a lot of people changed their views. Intolerance has nothing to do with geography or social status.
Not all of us... [nm]tz
Jul 19, 2002 11:24 AM
My point exactly! nmDave Hickey
Jul 19, 2002 11:26 AM
I suggest stopping this thread before verbal fighting starts nmtz
Jul 19, 2002 11:26 AM
Whoa, ...I thought this would be less inflammatory..nmrwbadley
Jul 19, 2002 11:54 AM
US Census Redneck Survey FormAllisonHayes
Jul 19, 2002 11:48 AM
The 2000 Federal Census For The South
Last name ________________
First name (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation (Check appropriate box)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Unemployed
(_) Dirty Politician
(_) Preacher
Spouse's Name_________________________
2nd Spouse's Name______________________
3rd Spouse's Name______________________
Lover's Name___________________________
Relationship with spouse (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household _____
Number of children living in shed ______
Number that are yours ______
Mother's Name _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
Father's Name _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Total number of vehicles you own ___
Number of vehicles that still crank ___
Number of vehicles in front yard ___
Number of vehicles in back yard ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks ___
Firearms you own and where you keep them
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup 196_
Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
Number of times you've seen a UFO_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____
How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable
Color of eyes:
Left______ Right_____
Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Light Brown
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Other (Specify________________ )
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler
(_) road?
LOL awesome! (nm)OffTheBack
Jul 19, 2002 11:57 AM
Hysterical, just what I was looking for... lol thanks nmrwbadley
Jul 19, 2002 11:58 AM
US Census Redneck Survey Formfirstrax
Jul 19, 2002 12:44 PM
You left of the hat question.

What patch is on your hat?
( )CAT
( )3
You missed a question...Lone Gunman
Jul 19, 2002 2:00 PM
Number of times you have been interviewed about what it sounded like when the tornado came through. I forget where I've heard that, possibly Jeff Foxworthy?
US Census Redneck Survey FormBikeViking
Jul 20, 2002 4:54 AM

Your killin' me here! :o) Did you just make that up on the fly? It was great!

My ex-wife is from Alabama so some of those are right on the mark. My former in-laws were fifth or sixth cousins. My ex's grandmother gave birth to my ex's mom when she was thirteen. My ex's mom gave birth to her when she was sixteen.

I know their gross generalizations, but they are funny!
Hee-Laar-Eee-Ooos! (nm)velocity
Jul 20, 2002 10:19 AM
Perhaps this will help:look271
Jul 19, 2002 12:00 PM
THAT is a redneck!
Hey, how did you get that picture of me??rwbadley
Jul 19, 2002 12:22 PM
Nice Mullet!!! nmPMC
Jul 19, 2002 1:53 PM
Jul 19, 2002 4:04 PM

This is a must see site!
just to roadie
Jul 19, 2002 12:05 PM
I did point out that the rural intolerance the poster claimed to expreince wasn't likely based primarily on wealth, but was simpley intolerance of differences. However, I didn't mean to imply that all or any rural people are intolerant; this was simply the posters expreience. My expereince, and that of most other posters, is that there is no geographic monopoly on intolerance, at least when it comes to cyclists vs non cyclists.
just to clarify...DrPete
Jul 20, 2002 4:17 AM
Wow, I'm pretty proud that my little thread would lead to all this... It's true that the "rednecks" I was referring to were only labeled as such because of their "get off the road" rantings when they see cyclists. On the other hand, I've gotten a great laugh from the survey and the photo, so what the hell.

"If you have one house that's mobile and 13 cars that aren't, you might be a redneck." ---Jeff Foxworthy
...and in defense of Rednecks: God luv 'emAllisonHayes
Jul 19, 2002 12:16 PM

The True Definion of a Redneck
-Rednecks are the people that make the world go round!
-Being a redneck is being proud of your roots and a true love for your father?s name. Where family and friends are first and strangers are just a vague, dismal blur in the distance.
-Rednecks are good ol' boys/gals who usually live in the south (usually in the country) and also tend to have a southern accent. Their necks are red and maybe their arms, too, cause they work hard and out in the heat all day.The group that is ridiculed by most, but deep down envied by all.
-Some types of rednecks may be cowboys/girls, mountain men/women, country boys/gals, and or hillbillys.
-Big truck tires, huntin?, fishin?, tractor pulls, country music, Charlie Daniels, and rebel flags are just a few words that might describe a redneck. They usually drive pickup trucks with loud sounds that can usually be heard before seen, and they also tend to blare country music from their radios. They usually add a CB radio to their truck and may have a gun rack in the back and an ol' rebel flag flyin from the antennae or posted on their front or back winshield. It is hard to figure these people out. Most people just can?t understand how you can have such a weird lifestyle of cowboy hats and buckles.
-Rednecks are very laid back and tend to piss people off when they drive too slow or too fast down the road in their ol' pickup trucks.
-Rednecks love women/men (preferrably Cowgirls/boys), country music, wearin' jeans, wearin' boots (may be leather), wearin' a cowboy hat, yellin' yyyyyeeeehhhhhaaaaaawwwwww! out loud, shootin' the bull (talkin and telling some stories), fishin', huntin' watching wrestlin', watchin' or goin' to NASCAR races, watchin' baseball, or watchin' football.
-Things that make a redneck mad: somebody stealin? his healthy horse, making a promise which you can?t keep, cuttin? down rodeo evernts, and much more.
-Things that really piss a redneck off is: stealin? his cowgirl, a male hitting a female, a male cheating on a female, child abuse, abortions (child killers), beatin? up his haas(word which means buddy), messin with his family, and much more.
-I tell ya, most rednecks like to fight for their woman and/or to defend their own honor. And i guarantee you if a true redneck sees you do one of the things in this list that redneck will whoop your @$$ right then and there.
-Rednecks know how to treat women. Rednecks know how to respect, love, and care about females. True Rednecks love females for who they are and would never cheat on them. A -True redneck would never hit or injur a female. White trash lies to females, cheat on them, beat them, get them pregnant and then leave them (A redneck believes a white trash person like this should be hung by their "YOU KNOW WHAT")
-How can your friends be more important than yourself? This might be a question from a typical non-redneck. Where the outdoors are loved and where blue-collar labor is not looked down on but a way of life. Where hard hats are worn instead of pocket protectors. Where steel toe boots are worn instead of nice loafers. Where blue jeans and a flannel are preferred to a nice coat and tie.
Or more succintly,MXL02
Jul 19, 2002 12:34 PM
God must love common people, he made so many of them. A. Lincoln

Another great essay, Allison. Thanks
Great post AH,...Wow, I might be a Redneck...nmrwbadley
Jul 19, 2002 12:42 PM
You might be a Redneck if..... your girlfriend flashes the TDF.firstrax
Jul 19, 2002 12:38 PM
You also might be a redneck if your a camera man and go out of your way to get shots like this.
you think end of national anthem is"gentelmen start you engines"ishmael
Jul 19, 2002 1:34 PM
stolen from a card, but good.