|My wife's true feelings about my bike came out..||PaulCL|
Jul 15, 2002 7:03 AM
|This is a joke. But she did say this. It may be offensive to some, so bare with me:
She said (in jest) : "I hate your bike. It's like a mistress you sneak off to be with. I swear if it had a vagina, you would never come home!"
I had no response. I was just trying to figure out where to put the vagina....
She hates the time I have on the bike. But SHE loves the fact that it keeps me in shape. I've be learning not to dominate conversations about my rides.
How do your non-riding spouses feel?? I'll bet its universal. Paul
Jul 15, 2002 7:12 AM
|buy her a schnauzer |
...sounds like you need to pay a little more attention to your wife, maybe make a concerted and continuous effort on the little things that are important.
Allison (me bad)
|It was all said in jest||PaulCL|
Jul 15, 2002 7:23 AM
|We do go out alot. I ride at dawn hours before she gets out of bed. I think what really bothers her is not the time on the bike, but the time working on the bike, talking about cycling, etc...
You are right...she may feel like a second fiddle to my mistress. I'll work on it.
Thanks Allison (you good)
|consideration is important from both sides||TomS|
Jul 15, 2002 7:34 AM
|My wife's been really supportive, even though I can tell she thinks I'm crazy for the amount of time I've been riding lately :-)
But we have sort of an implicit agreement, where I make sure that most of the time I'll go for rides when it won't take away from time spent together. Like before work during the week, or early on a weekend morning (she sleeps a lot later than I do so if I leave by 7 I can be back around 10 and she's only been up a little while). And if I know I want to take an extra long ride I'll make sure to tell her when I plan to be back. On the other hand if she wants to do something on her own or with her friends, I'll take advantage of that time to go riding.
I try to limit the after-work rides so we can hang out in the evenings; but sometimes she encourages me to do that once a week or so anyway.
Basically she sees that it's something that's important to me, and encourages me; in return I try to not let it get "in the way" because I really don't want it to be a cause of tension between us... Actually this morning she surprised me by asking when she should schedule some car service, so she souldn't mess up any before work rides by asking me to drive her at the last minute!
|Very similar||Mel Erickson|
Jul 15, 2002 7:15 AM
|Only a house remodeling has limited my time on the bike considerably. Just the mention of a bike ride sends her into a demonic sulk and you don't want to experience one of these. On Saturday I wanted to get in a long ride and her response was, "You just went for a ride Wednesday!"|
Jul 15, 2002 7:21 AM
|Yeah, I have the conversation issue also. Mine says I talk about my bike way to much.
However, I did find that sometimes this is benificial when wanting new parts. Much like pestering your parents when you were little and wanted something. I keep talking about something over and over until she finally just says, I am sick of hearing you talk about that - just go out and buy it.
One the bright side, my girl gets into the tour a lot...one of the few sporting events she actaully follows. She can even name most of the big stars.
Jul 15, 2002 7:40 AM
|Hehe, same here, even though she refuses to actually get on a bike my wife loves to watch le tour with me... actually the other day we were driving somewhere and passed some telecom company, and she said her first thought was "isn't 'telecom' spelled with a 'k'?"
And yeah, she is always amazed at how long I can work on my bike, and how many new parts I get (or want to get!). Even something like the chain, she didn't know they should, or even could, be replaced. I guess growing up her brothers had bikes that they just threw out when stuff stopped working :-)
|Tour Comments from Spouse||Ray Sachs|
Jul 15, 2002 10:44 AM
|My wife thinks I'm absolutely crazy with all of the riding and working on bikes I do. And she may be right. One of the funniest things heard around the house these days is her frequent imitations of Phil Liggett when I'm watching OLN, complete with overwrought English accent and blinding non-sequiters (On Saturday, it was something like: "Oh noooo! It's Lance Armstrong that seems to have taken a nasty, nasty spill and he appears to have his knickers in a twist about it!! He won't be eating too many of those Texas burr-itos tonight, now will he Paul!?"). OK, you'd have to hear her do it.
Seriously though, she'd probably prefer it if I rode less, but she doesn't get too upset about it as long as I'm flexible (which I am). Hell, I wish she'd spend less time on church stuff, but to each their own, so she does her thing and I do mine. I spend lots of time with her and the kids (even managed to take my daughter on a three day tour this summer) and always plan my riding around family committments. But I usually manage to get out 3-5 times per week, with at least one long (4-5 hour) ride every weekend. I also commute by bicycle, so I get plenty of riding in over the course of the year.
|You gotta strike a balance||ColnagoFE|
Jul 15, 2002 7:22 AM
|My wife will say "Take as long as you want for a ride", but I've learned that there is a limit to this. If I come back an hour later than usual I often hear about it. She also thinks all bikes look the same and can't figure out why I still lust after a C-40 when I already have a Master XL!|
|It's not about the bike!nm||Justride|
Jul 15, 2002 7:23 AM
Jul 15, 2002 7:26 AM
|A friend and I were riding on a local bike path and admiring the view along the way. One view in particular. Two beautiful specimen's of near masculine perfection tossing a football. Topless, buff, cut, golden...mmmm...gorgeous. After a few minutes though, I decided that buff men are rather like original artwork--beautiful to study, but costly. I'd rather pay $10 to view an original Monet once than sacrifice much to own one. I'd rather marry a man who is a little less golden and a little less cut, and actually spend time with him. The Ken dolls are always at the gym or tanning salon.|
|36 hours in a day?||DougSloan|
Jul 15, 2002 7:30 AM
|The only way to solve the problem is to have more hours in the day. I'd love to work 9 hours a day, ride 5 or 6, be home 5 or 6, sleep 8, and have time for other things as well.
I'd train 500 miles a week, do 20 double centuries and RAAM every year, if I had time. It ain't happening, though, not in this lifetime.
I've made my choices, that is, wife, career, child, and lots of riding doesn't fit in. I really wish it could. I want it all. If I rode as much as I'd like, though, I'd have none of the other things in my life.
Some women (maybe men, too), I think, aren't happy alone and need someone around more than others. If you are with someone like this, lots of training will be very difficult. All I can say is be efficient and make the most of the time you are together.
|Doug, you're gonna love the kiddie trailer...||bigdave|
Jul 15, 2002 8:20 AM
|Seriously, for the last year, my wife and I didn't ride together: she was very pregnant, then our son was very little. Now we have the trailer and are all riding together.
She loves it. She liked riding before, so I had that going for me. But now she wants to go on rides all the time and take our little Jake with us.
No, it's not hardcore training time. But it is a lot of fun to be doing what we love as a family.
And just think how stylish your little one would look behind the Milano!
|I'm thinking that the trailer is even liked by non-riding wives||Kristin|
Jul 15, 2002 8:46 AM
|Soon she will be more than happy to let you take Jr. for a nice long vacation/ride. Its all in the way you present it. If you ask like a 5 year old, "Please, please, please can I go for a ride." She'll just get annoyed. But you say, "Honey, you've been doing so much lately. Let me take him for a while so you can get [fill in the blank]."|
|Ah, good point!||bigdave|
Jul 15, 2002 8:52 AM
|And thanks for presenting it from the "other" point of view... most of us guys don't know how to do that sort of "spin doctoring" by nature. Well, at least not me. ;-)
|that is why we need to switch to metric time...(nm)||lnin0|
Jul 15, 2002 8:30 AM
|36 hours in a day?||Wannabe|
Jul 15, 2002 11:51 AM
|I've often told other folks that I wish that MY day had 36 hours and everyone else's still had 24. That way I might have enough time to get everything done.
We've struck a balance in our house. During the week, I ride in the early am b4 work except for one night a week, which is the club group ride. then, on the weekend, I usually do one long, 4-4.5 hour ride on one day with the other day getting a 1-1.5 hour recovery ride. And these two rides are scheduled so that the recovery ride occurs during little Nick's nap and the long ride leaves mid-morning with the plan to return shortly after nap time. Works well.
Of course, I don't ride like Doug does either. A good long DAY for him would be my weekly mileage (~160-180miles)!
|I Am Blessed||jromack|
Jul 15, 2002 7:36 AM
|My wife is a former competive cyclist, and she still likes to ride, just lacks the desire to train real hard for events.
When we met 3 years ago, I was also riding, but was limited to about 20-30 miles due to a knee injury. She is an excellent climber and I felt awful holding her back on rides. (it also hurt my male ego).
Anyways I had a new ACL put in my knee last year. I used an exercise bike as part of my rehab. She is a Physical Therapist and really pushed me. She also set up my bike for me since she is a pro at doing fitting on a bike.
Two months after surgery, I rode 35 miles!
This year I completed my first century since my injury (The Ride for the Roses) I even got to meet Lance Armstrong (and Robin Williams).
So far this year, I have logged 2200 miles and i don't even think about my knee.
The best part is having a sport that my wife and I can do together. Its cool having her leave a bike parts catalog open to a certain page for something to me to consider buying.
|why do you think saddles have cutaways? :-) :-) (nm)||ET|
Jul 15, 2002 7:36 AM
Jul 15, 2002 7:43 AM
|Actually, that was my first comment after my wife's joke. She laughed.|
|Also have a non-cycling spouse.||theBreeze|
Jul 15, 2002 8:31 AM
|I stuggle with this a lot. It is my experience that a female with a non-cycling spouse has it a little tougher. Guys are "supposed" to want to go out and do something tough and athletic. It's a whole other ball game, to use a non-applicable sports metaphor, when it's the woman who is the athlete in the family.
Yeah, he seems supportive, but I really feel he doesn't grasp how important riding is to me. And not "just going for a ride," but riding well. I try hard to schedule rides when they don't interfere with family time, but if I need to put in a 3-5 hour ride then that's not always possible. I really hate feeling like I have to be the "good girl" at home so I can "get" to go out on my bike. It's a fine balancing act. It disappoints me that he seems to only tolerates my riding, and that if he can almost ignore it I will just give up and behave myself.
Regarding talking cycling, I have learned to dole it out in small amounts. I can tell when his eyes start to glaze over that he has reached his limit. But then mine probably do the same thing about the third week of "March madness."
On the slightly brighter side, it is nice to have something that is all mine. When I am on my bike I don't have to be anybody's wife or mother, just me.
|you bet wrong||simstress|
Jul 15, 2002 9:13 AM
|My boyfriend doesn't need me to be around constantly. He has his own interests and activities to consume his time.|
|that will last as long as he's still a boyfriend...||theBreeze|
Jul 15, 2002 1:01 PM
|But should he ever turn into a husband and a father, watch the channel change.|
|teach your bike to cook & fetch beer. ;-) nm||Spirito|
Jul 15, 2002 9:48 AM
|This is amazing... you must be married to MY wife||funknuggets|
Jul 15, 2002 10:21 AM
|It is good to see that my wife isn't the only irrational one out there... okay... maybe it is us that are irrational. I too have modified my training to be done at the wee hours of the morning and have actually gotten approval to go to two group rides a week (Wed PM and Sat AM)!!! The rest are solo. You know the only thing that pisses me off, though, are when she makes plans for us to do things with friends right at the same time I planned to train. She says, "you can use the trainer when you get home"... when she knows damn good and well that we wont get home until midnight... bah.
I guess you have to have priorities and unfortunately, sometimes wife and kid have the trump card!!!
She did, however, really impress me by indicating that I could take the bike on our upcomming vacation.
|OOH...the vacation problem||PaulCL|
Jul 15, 2002 11:16 AM
|We have had long discussions about this one. During a vacation, my priorities are to relax, spend time with my wife and children, have fun and to ride. To me, it is not a vacation if I have to leave the bike at home.
There are exceptions, I am flexible (helps the sex life too). We went to Paris last year...in France without a bike! That was OK. But a domestic vacation with the kids includes bikes. I'll do my normal thing: get up at 5:30am, ride for three hours and get home as everyone else is getting out of bed.
My wife's biggest complaint is that I am toast by 10pm after an early morning ride. She's a night owl, I'm a morning person. The differences have just gotten worse as we've gotten older. On vacation, I will ride four times. We are going with three other families to Michigan this year, so the other guys will go out and play golf. They will play in the AM or mid afternoon while I am playing with my kids and theirs. Somehow, I feel my wife wins with my cycling and not golfing.
We've figured it out. I ride less than I want, she doesn't bug me about it as much. If I had my choice, I would ride five days per week - now I'm at maybe three. Paul
|Did you ever take a close look at a Terry Fly saddle?nm||Lone Gunman|
Jul 15, 2002 2:20 PM
|you folks make we want to stay single!||Duane Gran|
Jul 15, 2002 2:52 PM
|I'm sure the married (with children) life has its great moments, but the way I hear people talk it makes we want to stay a bachelor. I have tasted enough of the bike jealousy from a girlfriend to empathize with what some of you talk about. I just can't imagine the agony of feeling like I have to ask permission or bargain my way into riding 3+ times a week when I currently ride 7 days a week.
I don't know... I'm probably too selfish at this stage of my life because it looks like a pain in the ass.
|re: My wife's true feelings about my bike came out..||bic|
Jul 15, 2002 4:54 PM
|Sounds like you might have other issues with the wife that are just being manifested through cycling.|| |