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Open Giro question and fun contest. (Spoiler)(4 posts)

Open Giro question and fun contest. (Spoiler)Sintesi
May 30, 2002 12:13 PM
The urine test, posted by Fausto in the related thread below, got me thinking.

How long do you think it will take the Giro authorities to find some excuse to get rid of Salvodelli so Tyler can win the Giro?
Tomorrow or will they wait until Saturday to keep the "race" interesting?

Also let's have an ejection lottery. Whoever comes up with the nearest correct reason for the Giro authorities to eject Salvodelli wins a slightly used urine sample cup.

I'll kick it off:

I predict "Il Falco" will be forced to resign after x-rays reveal Salvodelli had 13 tied condoms filled with primo Amsterdam Ganja in his tummy. While not "performance enhancing" (in fact the extra weight would be detrimental to his climbing efforts) the Giro d'Italia decides to eject him never-the-less because of strict UCI rules against drug smuggling into the alps.

:) :0 :)
Salvodelli arrested (Spoiler)AllisonHayes
May 30, 2002 12:40 PM
Police in Italy southern arrested Salvodelli after they discovered a record haul of five million contraband condoms from Greece with a street value of $700,000.

Salvodelli told police his cargo was exempt from customs duty as they were a gift from humanitarian groups to encourage safe sex among the banned Giro riders. The condoms are being guarded by police while authorities decide what to do with them.
re: Open Giro question and fun contest. (Spoiler)WrigleyRoadie
May 30, 2002 1:45 PM
Giro d'Italia leader "Il Falco" Salvodelli was uncerimoniously removed from the peleton today following an announcement by tour officials that the rider has tested non-negative for oxygen.

Oxygen has long been rumored to provide muscles with performance-enhancing white blood cells via the blood stream. Like cocaine, it is commonly ingested through the nose. However, it was only recently that respected microbiologist Eda Greenmeanie was able to isolate this basic element that officials realized the power-boosting capacities of the substance.

"Without the copious use of oxygen, I'm positive that this 'athlete' would be no more capable of climbing the Ventoux than my dear Aunt Ursla," said Greenmeanie. "Coincidentally, with the removal of Salvodelli, my Aunt Ursla has just been awarded the maglia rosa."
Salvodelli tests Non-Negative for Dihydrogen OxideTschako
May 31, 2002 5:29 AM
This is the break that Hamilton fans having been looking for! It has been reported that Salvodelli was caught in the act of trying to empty his body of this performace enhancing substance. Often thought to be noting more than a solvent, dihydrogen oxide can be used as a temperature reducing agent in athletes. The amazing thing about this substance is that it can be taken internally or even applied directly to the face, head or neck. The rehydrating characteristics make it a favorite among the road-racing crowd as well as in other sports.
Race officials were quoted as saying "It isn't that he was shown to be non-negative for Dihydrogen Oxide, it is more that he was attempting to relieve himself of its' bloating effects in public!"