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OK, what's the dumbest thing you have done wrt cycling?(45 posts)

OK, what's the dumbest thing you have done wrt cycling?AllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 4:26 AM
For me:

1. Forgetting my bike is on top of my car (3 times)
2. Taking french onion soup on a ride only to find it had spilled all over everything. (Soggy sandwiches and a permanent odor.)
3. Trying to do a trackstand at a light and falling over much to the amusement of everyone else around me.
4. Losing my lock key after I locked up my bike. Took me 3 days to recover my bike. Turned out new my jacket had a zipper vent which I thought was a pocket. duh!
4. Learning how to draft: overlapping wheels and then going down at 19mph. Hurt for a long time.
5. Carrying a heavy backpack with balance point too high. Lost balance in traffic while trying to turn, went down. Just missed getting hit by car that managed to stop behind me.
Stupid bike tricks.Len J
May 23, 2002 4:47 AM
1.) The ever popular, "Stop at a light, unclip left & lean right fall in front of 50 witnesses"

2.) The ever embarassing, "Return from long ride feeling superior to all around me, fail to unclip, fall in front of neighbors"

3.) Turning left across two lanes of traffic into a side street, bus stopped in outer lane (with front of bus even with sidestreet) seizing the opportunity, I casually zip in front of bus (Ignoring the old addage about "running from between parked cars") and of course there is a car moving rapidly beside the bus on the inside lane. Next thing I know I'm in the gutter, with the bike in two pieces beside me & the poor guy that hit me is hysterical. Alls I can do is laugh at how stupid I eas.


PS Doug has the all timer, look for something about a toilet & a cyling glove.
Hey Len, how's the writing coming? anything new? nmAllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 7:32 AM
Writing's good.........Len J
May 23, 2002 7:38 AM
Several new things, but I'm not sure this is the appropriate place for them. If your really interested, give me an e-mail address & I'll send some to you.

Writing's good.........AllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 7:54 AM
Chec, it's on it's way. NMLen J
May 23, 2002 8:53 AM
Left my Fr wheel in parking lot after ride...biknben
May 23, 2002 5:01 AM
Put my MTB bike on the roof (fork mount) and left front wheel leaning against car. I opened the trunk when I got home and stared at my empty trunk for a moment. Thankfully the lot was only 10 minutes from my house. I went back to find it laying in the parking space.

Would have been a great find for someone. Ti spokes, ceramic rim and all.
Been there, done that twice.djg
May 23, 2002 6:28 AM
OK, I've only actually left the wheel in the parking lot AFTER a ride once. The other time I left it in the parking lot before the ride (I was in college and I'd borrowed a car to head down to a race--got there without the wheel, got home and it was gone, BUT, the next day I put a sign up saying that I raced for the college and couldn't really afford another wheel and I did get it back).
re: OK, what's the dumbest thing you have done wrt cycling?BikeViking at home
May 23, 2002 5:40 AM
Riding one-handed with a gallon of milk in the hand and flip-flops. Flip-flops came off, feet came off pedals and I wrecked in front of a bunch of kids. Had a nice set on chainring punctures on my calf. More embarassing than painful.

MTB riding...clipped out of right pedal and fell left...8 - 10 feet down an embankment. My buddies laughed their a$$es off, pulled me up and then told me EVERYONE does something like that the first few "clipless" MTB rides.
a fewdzrider
May 23, 2002 5:42 AM
Ginger Ale in a water bottle

Put cranks back on so that both were at 6 o'clock at the same time.

Tied a t-shirt to handle bars while riding on a hot day. It dropped between the front brake pads, locked up the wheel and flipped me. I came to in an ambulance.

Saw the "A" ride from my lbs, turned around, tried to catch them.
Drove over my rebuilt wheelPaulCL
May 23, 2002 6:14 AM
Brought my wheel into the LBS to be rebuilt due to a wreck. Leaned it against the car, then proceeded to get distracted by loading up two kids. Put the car in reverse and drove over the wheel. Crunch. Goodbye wheel. Pissed away a good wheel and the $25 rebuild.
I watched a rest stop volunteer drive over a bike last weekDave Hickey
May 23, 2002 6:40 AM
It's off the subject, but on a charity ride last weekend, I watched a rest stop volunteer drive over a bike. The bike was laying on the ground and the guy just drove right over it. We were all screaming at him but it was too late.
Clipless pedal fallsMSA
May 23, 2002 6:56 AM
Ok everybody does that when they first start, but how about at a rest stop after riding 40 miles. Was getting back on the bike to continue the ride, turned to ask a buddy something and fell over like Arte Johnson...
or worse, a friend finally got an HRM, and while checking it (on his wrist) turned his handlebars and flipped over his bike...was in the hospital three days. Needless to say he maxed out his HR on that one.
re: OK, what's the dumbest thing you have done wrt cycling?Sintesi
May 23, 2002 6:56 AM
1. I was 15 casually riding in the middle of the road, no-handed, next to a friend on our tenspeeds in the burbs. I noticed a girl with a particularly fetching rear end ahead of us on the right. I said, " Hey Kelly, check at that girl's a...." At that moment I careened into the front of a parked pick-up truck, rolled across the hood, off the windshield and onto the sidewalk next to the truck. The girl turned around and rushed over, concerned neighbors came out of their houses and crowded around, one guy was convinced I was in shock wouldn't let me leave and wanted to call an ambulance. Truth was I was so embarrased I couldn't even speak and all I could think of was getting back on my bike and slinking off. Kelly laughed all the way home and thoroughly enjoyed relating the tale to anyone who would listen for the rest of the semester.

2. Last year, fine spring day, casual spin through the park. As I was descending a moderate slope I noticed in the distance a wind-blown, plastic grocery sack gently tumbling down to the road from the left. Kind of like that scene from American Beauty where the bag seemed to have a graceful will of its own. Fascinated, I watched its gentle slow-motion play as it rolled along and I drew nearer. I bet I watched for twenty seconds and I watched it finally make it to the road, just as I was passing, and right into my rear wheel where it then wrapped itself multiple times around the pulleys of my rear derailleur and yank me to a complete halt, wrecking in the process. 20 minutes later, after untangling the mess, I remember thinking, "Boy, what an a$$ I am." : )
Nice anecdotes; you also write well!AllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 7:23 AM
Your story reminded me of another one:

A male friend of mine, who, at the time was an EMT, was called to the scene of a bicycle accident where a young woman was injured. She had all her front teeth knocked out when did a faceplant.

He administered aid and sat with her in the ambulance as they rushed her to the hospital. Anyway, he became smitten with her. Went to see her everyday. A couple of years later they were married.
awwwwwwww ... nmweiwentg
May 23, 2002 12:48 PM
What is wrt? (NM)tronracer
May 23, 2002 7:06 AM
wrt means "with respect to" (NM)AllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 7:16 AM
Painful memories...Stampertje
May 23, 2002 7:34 AM
1) I rode my bike home after a party. French country road, only been there once before (going up to the party), foothills of the Jura, no lights, drunk. I decided to see how long I dared to go without touching the brakes. Fortunately, my face broke my fall - I got away with a skinned nose and 5 stitches in my lip. The bike wasn't as lucky - the top and down tubes broke near the head tube and the front rim was cracked. It was a POS anyway.

2) Going down a trail on a rented mountain bike, I thought that one jump somebody had constructed in the middle of it looked kind of cool. I realized just a little too late that I absolutely lack the skill to pull off anything remotely like that, especially on a rental with a squishy fork. But at least I have a nice scar on my knee to show for it.

3) (Several times) You don't leave a bike in Amsterdam without locking it carefully. Just make sure you lock it to something solid - I locked mine to a chickenwire fence once when I was young. You don't even need *big* wire cutters for that. And not once, but twice did I lock a bike to a wooden pole that was secured only by a large rubber band. Must have been like taking candy from a baby.
chickenwire & rubberbands & booze LOLAllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 7:43 AM
Thanks for the amusement. At least I am no alone when it comes to repeat stupidity. I thought Amsterdam was a "safe" place when it comes to crime; obviously not!

Nothing like drunken cyclist doing a faceplant; at least you're weren't more seriously injured. Maybe being drunk helped you absorb the fall.
spent too much money nmDougSloan
May 23, 2002 7:46 AM
One of my dumbest...DINOSAUR
May 23, 2002 8:38 AM
Last summer I installed two new tires on my bike. Then later that evening while watching TV it dawned on me that I hadn't installed them with the labels on the same side. So I got up from watching TV, backed my truck out of my garage and got my bike down from it's hook and peeled off the rear tire and put it back on with the label on the the drive-line side, same as the front. Due to my haste I didn't mount the tire correctly and part of the tube was outside of the rim and I blew a tube. I had just replaced the tube, so I used two tubes for one tire. Now whenever I change a tire I never forget to mount them so the label is on the same side....and I always have at least six new tubes in stock...
Okay, so explain the label thing...AllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 8:43 AM
This is a new one for me. Is it a direction thing or what?
Okay, so explain the label thing...DINOSAUR
May 23, 2002 8:53 AM
You can mount the tire in the same position, helps when locating punctures and matching up the tube to the tire. Also if you have punctures in the same location it usually means you have a burr on your rim. I think the direction thing makes a difference also. Probably a more correct answer is that some of us are neurotic about their bikes and everything has to be as perfect as possible...
May 23, 2002 8:54 AM
It allows equipment freaks to get all the info they need from one side of your bike.
Always on drive side...opposite valve...biknben
May 23, 2002 9:57 AM
Years ago I built up bikes for a show and photo shoot and was told to always put labels on drive side opposite the valve stems. Photos we're always taken from drive side with the valve at the bottom and the label would be right side up at the top.

He showed me a catalog where they did that and it's been stuck in my head ever since. It's in the "useless info" portion of my brain.
No-hands, no-feet trackstandStraightblock
May 23, 2002 9:25 AM
As I approached a rest stop on a club ride, I decided to dazzle everyone there with my "Roy Rogers" dismount-slow down, unclip & push the bike out from under me with my last pedal stroke, hop off the back & grab the bike by the saddle. But it was winter & I was wearing an old pair of tights that were a little stretched out, and the crotch of the tights caught on the nose of the saddle as I slid off the back. Time seemed to stand still as I hung halfway off the back of the saddle, feet off the pedals & bars too far away to reach, but eventually fell in front of about a dozen clubmates.
Not sure why, but that one killed me :-)bigdave
May 23, 2002 1:40 PM
Late in the game, but...Gator
May 23, 2002 9:25 AM
1. BMX glory days. Finally got the nerve to jump this 8' tall monstrosity that someone had built out of plywood and stacked 2x4s. Didn't want to slow down and chicken out, so I just rode up to the field and gunned it. It wasn't until I was 3/4 of the way up the ramp that I noticed my friends wildly trying to wave me off. Ramp collapsed just as I launched and I did an 8' nut-plant onto the stem. I will NEVER forget that.

2. Rode out to a remote inlet where a bunch or shrimpers and n'er-do-wells hang out. Well, I get there and there must be 20 of these critters sitting around drinking tall-boys, staring at me. Realizing I'm a thin man on a bike wearing skin-tight neon Lycra, I try to be cool by keeping solid, manly eye contact with said critters. However, while maintaining eye contact with them, I drove into a two-foot-deep pothole and launched. As I was trying to unclip, a pack of their mongrel dogs sensed my weakness and charged. I took off, half-crawling in my cleats, squealing like a nine-year old girl, as 20 drunken rednecks laughed their asses off. Then I had to go back for my bike. A banner day.

3. The dumbest thing have ever seen done? Guy wins the local CAT 1 crit, and does his best Lance victory pose in front of the grandstand. Right on top of a sewer grate. Does a 35-mph faceplant in front of 1,000 people, Then he gets disqualified for taking his hands off the bars less that 30' from another rider. Sucks to be you, bud!
LOL: for 1. that coulda been a real "gator ator" for you andAllisonHayes
May 23, 2002 9:54 AM
for 2. nothing like being "gator bait" in front a pack of drunken rednecks. It was a good thing they didn't decide to have more entertainment at your expense. How did you gracefully exit from that one?
Sometimes you just have to admit you're beatGator
May 23, 2002 10:09 AM
No graceful exit. Grabbed the bike, brushed off the gravel and glass and wordlessly pedaled off in shame, a broken and bitter man. The first one? That was 17 years ago and it STILL hurts.
Number 2 is my winner. Funny (nm)Sintesi
May 23, 2002 10:13 AM
I can't believe I'm about to tel this story, but . . . .cyclinseth
May 23, 2002 9:43 AM
When I was about 16yo (32 now) I went out for a 60 mile ride with my buddies. I didn't feel like spending the $3.50 for a sandwich at the turn around point so I made myself a tunafish sandwich to take with me.

We left at about 7:30am on an extremely hot and sunny morning and made our liesurely way north. About 2.5-3 hours later we reached our lunch destination. My friends grabbed some food from a local deli and we planted ourselves in the park in the town center.

On the way home I started to feel a slight quiver in my stomach, I gave it no notice. The quivering grew into grumblings, the grumblings turned into rumblings, but we were only 4 miles from home. I didn't want to tell my friends of my condition. I knew I could make it to a bathroom. Just like when you're bonking, you know that you can make it to the next rest stop.

Unfortunately my sphyncter muscles could not contain the chemical reactions taking place in my digestive system. In a frenzied panic I dumped my bike on the side of the road, and made a 100 yard dash into the woods but the tunafish sandwich beat me to the finish line.

I thought my friends would tear themselves in two from laughing so hard, but they were merciful. We arrived at one of thier houses and out came the garden hose.
You and Lemond...biknben
May 23, 2002 10:06 AM
I read a story that Greg Lemond had severe intestinal issues during a race once and just let loose in his shorts. The story went on about how the rest of the field stayed away from his rear tire to avoid being "sprayed".

Consider yourself in good company.
May 23, 2002 10:44 AM
What was the consistency? Gross...
enough gas to float a hot air ballooncyclinseth
May 23, 2002 10:54 AM
with runs and chunks
That is a good one :-)bigdave
May 23, 2002 1:44 PM
I can especially appreciate it as I'm just getting over a bout of "Montezuma's revenge."


All of it in collegeTypeOne
May 23, 2002 11:48 AM
1) Riding downhill, one-handed on a mt. bike with a case of beer in the other hand. I turned toward the side with the beer and realized my balance was way off. I landed on my face, and the beer cans that weren't damaged managed to roll all the way down the street. I salvaged about 4 of them--it was all I could stuff into my shorts waistband.

2)Thought I could ride to class in powdery snow. I got there ok, and the sun came out while I was in class. Then it managed to get colder. When I left campus at the end of the day, the snow's consistency was really slick and icy. I made it home after falling about 10 times.

3) Had my seatpost and saddle stolen while chained up at the library, so I spent about a month continually standing while riding until I had money to replace it. (Must have wasted a lot of $$ on beer, see above.) Whenever I chained up from then on, I quick-released the seatpost and carried it with me. I did all my errands this way, until one fall I stopped off at the bank and a woman screamed when I entered. It set off a general panic for a moment. Then I figured it out: I was wearing a black beanie hat, tinted glasses, a blue sweatshirt and carrying a backpack. In one hand I carried the long, black metal seatpost by the saddle. The bank manager was pretty nasty to me, but I guess I was lucky they didn't have a security guard who would have shot me.
re: stupid bike tricks....jrm
May 23, 2002 1:12 PM
i was nearing the end of my ride and real tired. So i came to intersection. I had the red light and didnt want to unclip. So i extended my arm so i could lean against the post of a traffic light. Well the post being round my hand slid off. Still clipped in i slid down the pole to the sidewalk in front of Saturday Afternoon traffic.
Great Topicfunknuggets
May 23, 2002 1:31 PM
Dumbest thing I've done on a bike: Near the end of a ride was engaged in some conversation with one of my friends. Looked ahead about 200M and saw a Jeep with its brake lights on, I figured it was slowing down to turn at the next street. Engaged in the conversation I was alarmed when my friend suddenly put on his brakes. Instead of looking forward, I looked back at my friend to see what the hell he was doing and ran right into the back of the Jeep which had run into the back of another car. Does one hell of a number on a front wheel...

Dumbest thing I have seen on a bike: In college, at a block party being patrolled by bike police, a fight broke out. A female officer hopped off her bike to help assist with the fracas. Some drunk moron hopped on the bike and started pedaling away through the crowd. Another bike policeman saw him take it, chased him down and did a fantastic leap off of his bike into the most perfect clothesline tackle you have ever seen. I mean the drunk's bike continued on rolling and his feet were up in the air over his head before he landed on his back and was immediately pounced upon by the officer...
Cool topic Allison.. this is fun... my entrybigdave
May 23, 2002 2:20 PM
1) back in my BMX wanna-be days (about 12-13 years old) I was into trying hot-dog tricks... bunny hops, kick-outs and these nose-wheelies where I'd put my foot in between the frame/fork and front tire... push down a little bit and the tire stops and you do a nose wheelie. I could do some pretty good ones. Or so I thought. I was riding down a slight hill when I saw a friend that I wanted to impress with my new skill, so I proceeded to insert foot at a speed, say, oh, 10-15 mph faster than I had ever done before. Yep, instant endo and faceplant. Needless to say, the only impression I made was on my head... lucky I didn't break anything.

2) Another stupid one that I was lucky I didn't seriously hurt myself. It was two or three days before a big MTB race and my form was getting decent. So I wanted to test myself by pushing hard on a training ride, which included a bit of riding through a park on the street to get to/from where I was going. Well, my time was shaping up to be one of my best ever on my mini time trial. So this car of blue hairs was going slow on the park road, so I decided to pass them... only there was a car coming the other direction and I couldn't pass on the left, so I chose right. Bad choice. Once I got to about the front passenger door, the car immediately turns right to go into a parking spot, no turn signal. My choices were hit the car on my right, hit the car cutting me off, or try to somehow squeeze through. I tried to squeeze through, hit the car that cut me off then got launched precariously near the curb once I cleared the car on the right. I hit the ground *hard* nearly dislocating my shoulder, tacoing a wheel and ripping the passenger side mirror off the poor old guys car. It wasn't his fault I put myself in that position... he felt really bad about it. I was beat up pretty good, lots of bruises and road rash, and had to get a LBS to do an emergency rebuild of the wheel so I could race. Not a good way to go into a race weekend.

3) Going out on a team road ride in full foul weather gear because it was cool and looked like it was going to be a monsoon, and the radar backed it up. Well, in the direction we went, we got hit by a total of about 10 raindrops and the ride was particularly quick that day. So I stuffed my rain jacket (a full gore-tex shell, not a easily foldable clear plastic one) in the back of my bib shorts and looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame the rest of the ride while my legs turned into a steamroom under my gore tex rain pants... no matter what they say, that stuff is only breathable when you're going under 10 mph.

4) The opposite of that... my first year road riding. I wanted to go see Lance race at race relatively nearby (just prior to his discovering the cancer... mid-96). It was hot and sunny out, so I rode shirtless. I got there, saw just a little bit of it, then I had to get back to go to work. Just as I made the turnaround, a cold front rolls in and brings rain with it. I instantly started freezing my *ss off. I also was on my longest-ever ride to that point, about 70 miles and I didn't bring any food. So I had to sheepishly go into a small mom-and-pop hardware store in the middle of nowhere, buy a snickers bar from an mid-60-ish lady wearing no shirt and some wet lycra shorts. I felt like a total freak. Oh, and it rained some more on the rest of the way home. But it was all worth it when I got to work and everyone in the office said, "You rode to where and back???"

4) Lastly, my clipless story: Just got them, didn't know anything about them. So I turned up the release tension, figuring it was like ski bindings... you didn't want to come out of them accidentally. It was another 90-degree day, sunny, and I wanted to work on my tan... so no shirt again. I was riding on a rail trail, and I decided to stop and adjust something on the pedals. Well, yep, couldn't clip out, fell (like someone else said "Artie Johnson" style) onto my bare back in the gravel at abo
The 130-mile ride for which I was totally untrained ...Humma Hah
May 23, 2002 3:37 PM
... I THOUGHT I was trained - I could ride 35 miles with no problem.

But the actual goal was 200 miles, and I was so pooped at 130 I nearly passed out.

I was very young then, about 20. I've beat that distance twice in recent years, nowhere near the pain, much faster, and better prepared.
Wow, I regret I haven't done any dumb bike...;-)rwbadley
May 23, 2002 4:26 PM
Well maybe there was that one time when...
Or how about...
Or maybe...
Nope, sorry, nothing.
:>) (notice the long nose?)
re: OK, what's the dumbest thing you have done wrt cycling?Soultrain
May 23, 2002 6:07 PM
1. deciding that I could service my rear derailer, with no real tools to speak of. Took three hours to get back together
2.cutting my chain too short(doh!)
3.Not realizing that the sound that I was hearing was a flat tire(doh doh!)
2 stupid crashes in two consecutive ridesnn23
May 23, 2002 6:49 PM
Near the end of a ride with about 4500 ft of climbing, (personal best at that time) and am really ready to fall off due to exhaustion at the parking lot. With a sense of major achievement I decide to ride no hands the last 10 meters and stretch my aching back. About 15' from the rest of the not standing riders is this little speed bump and I say to myself hey I can ride over that, but I'm waaay too exhausted..... crash! Done in by a 3" speed bump after that PR climb.

Last year when I was new to clipless, I did this climb near Sky Londa, and am really exhausted at the top where I'm waiting for my friend to catch up. Once he catches up I mount and start pedaling again only to see that he plans on taking a break. So now I try to dismount. In my exhausted state I forget to unclip before leaning my bike. This was the immediate next ride to the one above. Oh man do I feel stupid, and am I scared of getting back on the bike.