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More pumping, less sucking - a wife's perspective(31 posts)

More pumping, less sucking - a wife's perspectiverideslikeagirl
May 9, 2002 7:52 AM
There are a number of posts from men who ride slower so as to not dump their women. Just wanted to give you hope that your sacrifice is not in vain.

My fella raced in college and has been an avid rider since. He introduced me to the sport a couple years ago, and I've fallen in love with it.

As a newbie and just being the 'weaker sex' in general, he really had to slow down in the beginning. And I know it must have driven him crazy, but he never complained. Even when I'd be sucking his wheel and telling him to "SLOW DOWN!", when we were barely going 12 mph.

It's paid off. Not that I can kick his butt or anything, but he spends a great deal more time on my wheel now (he SAYS he likes the view). And I find that I NEVER tell him to slow down anymore. In fact, I frequently find myself passing him to pick it up a bit.

Sharing this sport with the one you love brings a whole new dimension to a relationship. We're a couple of the lucky ones.

Keep up the good work, guys! ;)

It's worth it-
Thanks for the adviceDrSchu
May 9, 2002 7:56 AM
I am printing your post and giving to my wife...I am taking her riding for the first time this weekend. (What a mother's day present) She has only had her bike for six months, ridden it once. I will slow down so maybe I can enjoy the (her) view...
re: More pumping, less sucking - a wife's perspectiveWannabe
May 9, 2002 8:21 AM
You both are blessed!

and I thought this was another metaphor...Good going! nm128
May 9, 2002 8:26 AM
He's a lucky guy.grandemamou
May 9, 2002 8:53 AM
I have to admit you sucked me in with that topic line. Keep pumpin.
I'm a lucky galrideslikeagirl
May 9, 2002 1:49 PM
And here's the lucky couple! Okay, enough with the sappy crap, I promise-
re: More pumping, less sucking - a wife's perspectiveRadicalRonPruitt
May 9, 2002 8:54 AM
This is what I hope my wifes new found enjoyment brings us. Thanks.
re: More pumping, less sucking - a husband's perspectiveIAM
May 9, 2002 9:01 AM
I absolutely love riding with my wife. I'm new to the road, but have been MTBing for years with my wife. When we rode in the dirt she always complained that she was slowing me down. I always assured her how much I enjoyed riding with her at her speed. We would always stop in some nice place for a drink and a bar or something and end up laying in the sun talking. These were some of my best rides and I would always tell her so.

We both have road bikes now and have been riding a few times and are learning to really enjoy it. One thing that we found best is for her to pull, that way she sets the pace she is comfortable with and I don't have to worry about going too fast for her. I really don't give a dam what our average is were just riding and enjoying each others company.

If I feel some testosterone driven need to ride hard I'll do that when I'm riding solo or with other friends. IMHO you can push your wife to ride harder but you will most likely push her to not ride.
agreed - good post topiclonefrontranger
May 9, 2002 9:01 AM
My SO and I have both raced for over a decade and have lived together nearly 7 years. He is/was a good Cat III level rider in the Midwest, and the top sprinter in our region. In the beginning we did a lot of rides just as you say, with me clinging desperately to his wheel, bitching about the pace, all the time concerned about being a general pain, holding him back, etc... When I got stronger, it was really enjoyable to ride with him, and he's always been a great training partner. We trained together on his slow days, and separately on his hard days, and things sorted themselves out well. He's also the best cheerleader I've ever had, and gives great advice from the sidelines - he avoids the tired and useless "Move UP! cliche in favor of providing useful things like split times to breakaways, tactics he sees going on that I might miss, etc...

When we moved from the Midwest to the Front Range, I got picked up by a women's team who provided me the necessary motivation to get my butt in gear and train seriously to prepare for an upgrade. My SO, due to various job concerns and the simple fact that it's really hard to race at a III level out here has pretty much given a pass to racing for the last 2 seasons.

We've ridden together a couple times lately, and I'd have to say the shoe's on the other foot now: it's me doing the pulling, and him doing the complaining. But perversely, he seems almost proud of the fact; I've heard him on the phone a couple times with ride buddies and our friends, talking in a mock-whiny sort of way about how his girlfriend kicks his @$$ all the time now. I've been doing my part and working to motivate him to go train with the boys, or come ride with me when he can. I've gone through burnout / disinterested phases myself, and ultimately it's up to him whether he wants to get serious or just enjoy doing the recreational / touring / MTB thing this year. I *did* pay his expensive registration for an upcoming stage race however, so I think I'm justified in bugging him a teeny bit :-)

Warning: if you get really strong, don't get too cocky about it, because sleeping on the couch sucks! Last night our hill repeat workout got pretty ugly, since he used to be a fairly decent climber and insisted on coming with me (I kinda figured it was a bad idea, but anyway...). Never mind that he's only just gotten back on a training regimen and is packing a few extra pounds, where I have 3 months of base and six weeks of intervals in this year and am leaner than I've ever been. I got a bit of the cold silent treatment on the ride home. He's a good guy, and I myself have been there, done that, and can sympathize how hard it is on the ol' ego to be lacking fitness such that your smartypants non-climber girlfriend can lap you on hill intervals.

The fun part is that regardless of how much I've trained this year, he'll put in 3 or 4 good hard weeks and be able to kill me on any ride. The joys of natural talent!
another beautiful story. //admire nmelviento
May 9, 2002 9:43 AM
This works the other way around too...Spinchick
May 9, 2002 9:41 AM
Since I'm the cyclist in my family and he hasn't exactly gotten "hooked" yet. I bought him his mtb back in '96 and have always encouraged him to ride - with or without me. I'm hoping this summer will be when he really gets into it. If so, I plan on buying him a road bike for his birthday in September. He has recently started a fairly regular work-out routine and I am thrilled. I often comment on the fact that I'll have my work cut out for me keeping up with him after I have this baby. We do enjoy our little jaunts around the neighborhood with our 4yo on the trail-a-bike. This is such a great family sport.
I couldn't agree more!Becky
May 9, 2002 9:43 AM
My husband and I met mountain biking, have since discovered road biking together and can't imagine not riding together. It brings so much joy to our relationship and I believe that sharing this hobby strengthens our marriage.
Great post, rideslikeagirl!
Hey Becky, been meaning to ask...rideslikeagirl
May 9, 2002 10:00 AM
Regarding your post last week. I haven't looked back, but was wondering if you've tried anything different to motivate yourself on the weeknights?

Last year we rode after work, near our work (we also have an hour commute, each way). This year we're trying to ride after we get home. It's easier with out having to lug all the bike crap everyday.

BUT - It's always colder and windier at home, and it's really tough, as you know, to get 'out there' after an hour in the car. So, we may end up lugging the stuff again.

Just wondering how it's going for you.
Hey Becky, been meaning to ask...Becky
May 9, 2002 10:16 AM
I haven't gotten much riding in this week because the weather has been threatening thunderstorms during the evenings. However, my husband and I walked to the store one night (5 miles roundtrip) rather than taking the car and rode around town on our bikes to do errands another night. So I have been getting some exercise after work, even if it's not necessarily on the bike. Running errands on the bike and sprinting through rush-hour traffic in street clothes reminded me how much I like riding and that it doesn't have to be a drag after a long day.
Thanks for asking! Yours was some of the better, more supportive advice that I received in reply and I'm grateful for it. Take care and happy riding!
that's what they all sayDougSloan
May 9, 2002 10:09 AM
Good for you; I'm envious.

Sharing anything, and particularly something you are passionate about, is wonderful.

My wife is convinced that she is slowing me down...Lowend
May 9, 2002 11:08 AM
I like to Mt bike on the weekends and use my road bike for commuting. I keep asking my wife to go on rides with me, but she keeps saying that she only slows me down. We ride on paved bike paths because she is afraid of cars and mtn biking. I tell her If I wanted to go fast, I would got out on my own and that I'm asking because I want to spend time with her. She says she likes to ride but does not want to take the fun out of it for me. What should I do?
My wife is convinced that she is slowing me down...IAM
May 9, 2002 11:22 AM
That was my exact situation, especially on the MTB. You have to absolutely convince her that you enjoy riding at that pace because you enjoy riding with her. As I said it's about the experience not the speed and some of my most enjoyable rides are with my wife at a nice pace. I will admit that it took a bit of convincing but I think letting her set the pace and distance has really helped.

Good Luck
I'm in the same boatJekyll
May 9, 2002 11:43 AM
My girlfriend (might as well be wife, 5.5 years and living together for 4) always moans that she feels as though she's slowing me down.
While she will get out on some MTB trails (not very technical but some single track nevertheless - the worst thing I ever did was put SPD's on her bike - she fell and now I can't get her in to the woods) and prefers to ride rails-to-trails, she's never shown any great commitment or really serious interest in cycling as a sport.
She claims that she likes to ride but I am not all that sure this is the case. She really does not realize that I actually enjoy the 12-13mph strolls through the rails-to-trails with her. I enjoy the time with her and riding at a pace that lets me enjoy the surroundings.
I always tell her that its a recovery spin that the pace is great to which she always responds by telling me that if I want to go faster to go ahead and just wait at the trail head.
It seems to be a no win situation. You can't push them to ride but you want the time together and their interest in the sport. I wish I had an answer.
I try to tell my wife that it's like communicating..dzrider
May 9, 2002 12:52 PM
She's faster and more skilled than I am, but wants me involved in it anyway. I do my best but always feel like I'm struggling to keep up.
That's great! :) Very cute! nmrideslikeagirl
May 9, 2002 12:57 PM
i'm printing this and taking it home. subject fields only. nmJS Haiku Shop
May 9, 2002 11:31 AM
Thanks, I just spit tea all over my monitor. LMAO. nmSpinchick
May 9, 2002 12:00 PM
you're suppose to swallow it, not spit nmDougSloan
May 9, 2002 12:33 PM
Okay, Mr. Double Entendre man..Spinchick
May 9, 2002 12:43 PM
you're just itching to turn this into a gutter thread aren't you? We haven't had a really raunchy one for a while - maybe it's time.
my daddy always saidDougSloan
May 9, 2002 12:51 PM
"Never start it, but always finish it." (he was talking about fights, though)
(tapping foot) Waiting for Godot, er, Spirito.....(nm)JS Haiku Shop
May 9, 2002 1:29 PM
He's taking too long... (did I just say that?)Spinchick
May 9, 2002 1:57 PM
care to sum up this quirky little thread in haiku, as only you can do?
that "tuna" comment was really hard to resist nmDougSloan
May 9, 2002 4:01 PM
sure, can doJS Haiku Shop
May 10, 2002 4:58 AM
think: more pump, less suck
let experience be goal
I say: more of both

to truly resolve
increase pumping and sucking
oh, and frequency

and, why, do you think--
no mention "how high to shave"
is found in this thread?
Oh my gawd!! Now I've got to scrape tuna off the screen!! LOLrideslikeagirl
May 9, 2002 12:55 PM
Sex, Cycling, and rock&roll; It all comes together now...nm128
May 10, 2002 4:05 AM