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Things I learned while biking this weekend.....(5 posts)

Things I learned while biking this weekend.....quadzilla1
May 6, 2002 1:20 PM
1. Never, never drink a large vanilla milk shake from McDonalds immediately before going mountain biking.
The rabbits have enough to eat in the wild.

2. When you remove a key from your key ring to put in your seat bag so you can get back into your car after a ride, make sure you remove the CORRECT black key. Taking the other black key that goes to your van will not help you when you are finished riding if you've driven your car.

3. Take a cell phone. See number 2.

4. You know you need to train more when:

a.) Your on the back of a club ride when you come to another dreaded hill. No big deal until a man walking, passes you. He is elderly. He's on crutches. With a seeing eye dog. The dog is missing both his back legs.

b.) Next hill, you get passed by a woman. She's in a wheel chair. With two flat tires. Both of her arms are broken.

c.) You fake getting a flat tire in a group (complete with a "psssssst" sound made by you) so you can stop & rest. Or vomit.

d.) You are the last one back to the parking lot after a ride. You notice several girls in the lot that finished before you. Their parents are putting the big wheels and tricycles in the back of the station wagon. You say that you made a wrong turn several hours ago.

5. Always take two water bottles with you, especially if you are clumsy. No doubt, you will drop one on the ground while riding. The schmuck behind you always runs over it & pops the top off. Congratulations. Now you get to do a 35 mile ride with nothing to drink.
Thanks for the laugh.......I hope it's fiction!!! nm :)rideslikeagirl
May 6, 2002 1:38 PM
heavens nolonefrontranger
May 6, 2002 1:55 PM
I'd like to agree right here that if you're having a really awful day, there isn't enough hyperbole in the English language to describe the experience.

That sounds about like a duathlon experience of mine where I came stumbling in from the run leg to see (out of nearly 1000 entrants) 2 bikes left in the transition racks: mine and that of a guy in the 75+ category. I am not making that one up, trust me.
all are true, except for....quadzilla1
May 6, 2002 2:50 PM
except for 4a + b.
AND all happened this weekend (from Friday afternoon- Sunday. A rare weekend indeed.

The girls with the big wheel & tricycle weren't actually part of the club ride, but it did look funny.
pfffwaahahahahaaa! You faked a "psst" sound to go vomit!Leisure
May 7, 2002 1:55 AM
Oh man, I'm sorry, but it is so funny! Good sense of humor and nice story! I can feel better about MY weekend, too.