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We need a cycling super-hero(27 posts)

We need a cycling super-heroAllisonHayes
May 4, 2002 6:09 PM
If you were a cycling super-hero, who would you be? Cyclists already have the costume for it. What powers would you possess? What evil would you overcome? Who would be your arch enemy?

I would be Liberty, the metahuman super-hero. (modified appropiately)

The "platinum patriot" known as Liberty: the American Girl is one of the latest heroines to appear in the skies above Los Angeles. Possessing incredible strength, near invulnerability and the power of flight, she wages a personal crusade to uphold the wheel and protect innocent cyclists.

Hailing from rural Indiana, Jesse Wells and her best friend Gina Landry came to Los Angeles to attend UCLA. However disaster nearly struck a few weeks later when the pair were struck by a SUV on a lonely road. The trauma suffered in the crash awakened the metagene within Jesse, who was then able to get Gina to a nearby hospital. Although Jesse didn't want her new abilities or the attention they would draw if anyone knew, without them she may not have gotten her friend to a hospital in time.

As the school year progressed, Jesse tried to concentrate on her classes and forget about her new abilities and being a "metahuman." Gina however, was intrigued and urged her unsuccessfully to explore her "cool powers." She even began to take an interest in the exploits of the local Cat 2 and Cat 3 metahuman racers, which eventually inspired her to create a metahuman "persona" in honor of her best friend's abilities: a red, white and blue-clad champion, "Liberty: The American Girl."

When Gina finally unveiled what the pair later dubbed the "flag suit," Jesse was astonished, but adamant that she had no interest in becoming any sort of metahuman heroine. In the end, Jesse reluctantly agreed to try it on out of respect for the work her best friend put into it. Standing in front of the mirror in the outfit along with white boots and scarlet gloves, Jesse had to admit that it did look kind After that, it took a bit more nudging on Gina's part to get Jesse to go out that evening in it ("If you're going to try it on you might as well try it out, right?").

Jesse figured a quick century around the city wouldn't hurt, and if she didn't she knew Gina wouldn't stop badgering her. It was getting dark, and unlikely anyone would take much notice of her anyway. Besides, she'd never flown so fast with her new powers (actually, she hadn't flown at all since the night of the accident). However, not long after taking to the sky she saw a fire in nearby Santa Monica. Two kids who were riding their banana bikes got trapped under a semi that had burst into flames. They had wandered onto the freeway and the the paramedics simply wouldn't get to them in time. But she could...

The media blitz following her rescue of the kids was overwhelming. Who was she? Where did she come from? These and what seemed like a million other questions were hurled at her by the anxious media. Jesse simply and politely told them she was "Liberty: The American Girl," before rising gracefully into the night sky. Now, whether she liked it or not, the world knew about "Liberty: The American Girl."

After that Jesse put the flag suit away. "I'm no heroine Gina, just a farm girl from Indiana," she told her roommate. However, in the weeks that followed Jesse found it more and more difficult to forget what happened. She couldn't forget the look of terror in the kids eyes as the building's flames drew closer, how they gazed up at her as she swept down and wisked them to safety, as if she were an angel of mercy. The thought of using her abilities to help everyday people in trouble appealed to her, yet at the same time it filled her with dread. But in the days that followed, a growing sense of responsibility began to manifest within her. With each news report of an accident, disaster, or metahuman criminal's latest exploits, Jesse felt more and more compelled to act. It was
re: We need a cycling super-heroAllisonHayes
May 4, 2002 6:15 PM
only a matter of time before she finally did (and that's a story for another time).
There already is one.Lazywriter
May 4, 2002 7:22 PM
I believe this is him and he posts a alot on this board.
My man!Me Dot Org
May 4, 2002 8:50 PM
His arch-nemisis is Doctor Cheeseburger...
Why get another super hero?empacher6seat
May 4, 2002 9:25 PM
Am I not good enough?
you kiddin' me ....we already have oneSpirito
May 4, 2002 10:31 PM
his super shield was custom made by mr. castelli and is invisible to the human eye.....well almost...

its invisible only to chicks and queers :-)
Spirito, "Queers" is a derogatory termLazywriter
May 4, 2002 10:42 PM
used for homosexuals and that is not tolerated on this board. You will rot in hell for using that term and will be disparaged by all of whom that feel terms like breed bigotry and hatred. Shame on you for using such a term. You must be homophobic with some latent homosexual impulses that you suppress which manifest themselves as verbal agressiveness. Wah Wah Wah.
dude, the only derogatory thingSpirito
May 4, 2002 11:25 PM
is your abiltiy to read between the lines. do you not think my gag is more at men who consider themselves to be "straight". does every joke have to appear sanctioned by you before we laugh?

you know nothing about me or my values and yet you seem to think you do. that i find even more insulting and akin to hatred and bigotry.

if all forms of humor were to be politically correct, all language to be pg13, and all thoughts and writings censored we would end up with slimy amoeba like you and 144 different shades of grey.

for the record - i dont care how people get off (apart from with children and animals) nor do i make judgement or consider one preference better or superior than another. we all need to get off .... thats cool and important and something you should take more interest in.

thanks for the readers digest psychotherapy by the way...all your claims are about as spot on as your value of humor which is to aint got any.

if a line is funny ....i will say it and not think of the offense it will create...ill throw slander, farce, and any gag on everybody equally......and mostly myself.

the only thing i suppress is the need to be an automaton like yourself. but then again maybe you are wise and i am wrong and indeed i am such nuisance to this world with my "bigotry and hatred" that perhaps i would have been better if i was the sperm my mother swallowed.

lazywriter do me a favor .....go away, far, far away, disappear, vanish into thin air...poof!

et voila!!!

Spirito, your ability to read between the linesLazywriter
May 5, 2002 8:04 AM
is obviously poor because I was being totally sarcastic. Everything you said in your post is what I recently said when I was criticized for using a similar term (homo). I went on the same tirade about how political correctness would stifle all humor.
My comment was meant less for you and more for others to point out how words are just words. I guess you are not as clevr as you purport to be there buddy. Sorry that you couldn't see the obvious intent of my post. Take it easy.
Spirito, your ability to read between the linesweiwentg
May 5, 2002 9:10 AM
homo is derogatory, queer is non-derogatory (personally, I wouldn't say it, but it is apparently no longer considered an insult).
ill cut the mustard.....Spirito
May 5, 2002 9:19 AM
i was never too keen to read any of your posts as they really had nothing of substance. indeed i have skipped most everything you have had to say

and ill admit you still have nothing to say as if your only reason to come up with the dribble you posted above was to prove a point about something you had previously posted then you indeed good sir, are none too clever yourself and perhaps perhaps either vain to need to prove yourself or full of ego. prolly both.

either way at least you are consistent have always been boring.

i until now have avoided you crap and not wasted my time fueling your asinine and gutless thoughts. i feel sorry for whoever has chosen to gob on your knob - i could think of nothing as pointless or as demeaning.

your a waste baby.
Liberty Compells Lazywriter to RetireAllisonHayes
May 5, 2002 11:05 AM
"Lazywriter, I know things have been pretty rough for you lately. You've been up against neo-Nazis, Dreadnaught, and even that idiot Black Fly just in the last two weeks," said Liberty

"Black Mosquito," corrected Lazywriter absently.

"Whatever, you're a loser, Lazywriter. The point is, this is the perfect time for you to take a break from posting."

"That's completely unfair, and you know it. I didn't mean it that way!" exclaimed Lazywriter.

"So? Look, I know better than anyone how you feel about this stuff. It's not like people keep hounding you about it; but this is one of those very few things I think is good for you."

"Without me, the RBR is going to turn it into a circus. It always does," Lazywriter replied sarcasticly.

"Sure, but you're not doing this for them. Or for the First Amendment, or for the American people. You're doing it for yourself; you need a break. We are not blind to your reasons. They are compelling, but the consequences will be grave if you stay. Your history is a past the RBR people do not wish to remember."

Lazywriter prostrated himself before the blackness, then stood and left the circle of light in silence. He strode to the chamber door and left the RBR. Only then did he permit a predatory smile to cross his face. At last, he promised to himself, I shall avenge this dishonor.

moral: old flamers never die; nor do they fade away.
Allison, I find your superhero quiteLazywriter
May 5, 2002 2:44 PM
sexist as it further objectifies women. The exaggerated large breasts and protruding buttocks is the man's ideal of a woman and not the "real" woman. All of you on this board have made me see the light and I am now going to be politically correct in all I say and do. You should be ashamed of yourself as a female to post such a picture that exploits women and makes them into sex objects. You should have more respect for women than that.
Do I sense the turning of a new leaf?AllisonHayes
May 5, 2002 3:18 PM
Only time will tell. Until then, I am really glad to read that you are at least willing to change.

As for Liberty, she is no different than any other super-hero, male or female. Or, for that matter, any other objectified larger-than-life celluloid creation of the western world. Did I create her? No. Should I be ashamed of my wry sense of humor? No.

As for having more respect for women, you sound just like the anachronistic fundamentalist minister telling the women to repent simply because they don't share the same repressive diatribe that you are promulgating in your post. A diatribe which, by the way, is hardly politically correct anymore.

Now, I'm going to do my nails. TaTa!
re: get a lifecyclopathic
May 5, 2002 11:08 PM
Allison, I think I'm in love!jtolleson
May 6, 2002 7:13 AM
: ) Great post.
May 5, 2002 6:13 AM
'Queer' was, indeed, once a derogatory term. however, homosexuals today refer to themselves as 'queers'. I know because a panel from the university's LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) organization gave a short talk at my intro psych class.
and for heaven's sake, stop the childish comments (e.g. wah wah wah) which seem to show up at the end of every post. it's unbecoming of an adult.
What a paradox you've created:AllisonHayes
May 5, 2002 5:02 AM
It is clear this cyclist is NOT a poseur; however, he may get arrested for posing. Maybe he is related to that chick in Bend, Oregon who was arrested for cycling nude. Only, she had red boots, not a red helmet.

btw, I can see him because the juice didn't work!

It's the juice! A dumb crook story:

A man was arrested after a bank job. When shown the video, he screamed, "The juice, what happened to the juice?" The police, being a thorough bunch, wanted an explanation.

The dumb crook said that during one of his gigs his prison his buddies told him that he would be invisible to video cameras if he rubbed lemon juice over his body.

So, it looks like your poser forget his juice. hahahahaha
nice skinsuit (nm)Cartman
May 5, 2002 11:13 AM
he is selling that saddle on ebay. a true bargain. nmcolker
May 5, 2002 6:05 PM
you kiddin' me ....we already have onemackgoo
May 6, 2002 4:16 AM
Any one riding Shimano aint no hero of mine.
Lady Libertyatpjunkie
May 6, 2002 7:07 AM
"...with those narrow hips she'll only be able to bear 6 or 7 children tops"
When someone mentioned a Spiderman jersey it got me thinking.Leisure
May 5, 2002 1:32 AM
But good guys are no fun. On the other hand, if they ever made a Venom or Carnage style jersey I'd be all over it!

Bad guys are bad ass.
May 5, 2002 12:15 PM
Well at least I'm my own cycling hero... I made it to track junior worlds in a year and a half after blowing out my knee in football. One of 5 Canadians to go for the first time in over 10-20 years. Then March of this year I went to Trinidad to whoop myself into shape early in the season. However, on March 30th I got into a huge accident. It can be seen on my site @ . I established a month before I left but its taken on a whole new meaning, because after diving headfirst into the ground at 60 km/h its a miracle I'm alive. And I know I have a second chance to do everything so I'm gonna train like every workout is my last... and that will pay off.

(Super-hero) Nick Corcoran
First, you need to pass this test.AllisonHayes
May 5, 2002 1:22 PM
1. Were you bitten by a radioactive cycling bug?
2. Do you have any superpowers?
3. Are you sworn to uphold the values of the creed of Spirito? (All cyclists are family.)
4. Is Lazywriter your arch nemisis? (trick question, see #3)
5. Is Lazywriter a cyclist? (trick question, use your superpowers to divine answer)
5. Did you undergo a metaconversion while you were unconscious?
6. Do you dream in technicolor?
Please contact me personally for the answersPODIUMBOUNDdotCA
May 5, 2002 2:20 PM
As amazing as my newfound powers are you know I can't divulge the answers to THE test on this forum. So and I will gladly reply!

liberty seems a little "top heavy" for a cyclistbianchi boy
May 5, 2002 4:54 PM
I believe the weight would make her topple over her handlebars if she were riding in the drops. I'd like to see it, though.