's Forum Archives - General

Archive Home >> General(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 )

engineering joke(11 posts)

engineering jokeSlipstream
Apr 22, 2002 6:19 AM
An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new bicycle. " Where did you get such a rockin' bike?" asked the first.

The second engineer replied " Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said 'Take what you want.'"

The second engineer nodded approvingly " Good choice! The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Are you an engineer?Nessism
Apr 22, 2002 6:32 AM
Engineers progress through their careers becoming more specialized as they advance. As they become more specialized focusing on their area of expertise, they learn more and more about less and less until in the end, they know pratically everything about nothing.
I used to beSlipstream
Apr 22, 2002 6:41 AM
then I became a manager and now I know absolutely nothing about everything. ;>)
I thought it was salesman? (nm)Nessism
Apr 22, 2002 7:06 AM
How do you break the technician's finger?tempeteKerouak
Apr 22, 2002 8:38 AM
You punch him/her on the nose

How do you break the engineer's nose?

You kick his/her boss' ass.

-simple worker's joke, I s'pose.
Three engineers are talking about God...Alex-in-Evanston
Apr 22, 2002 8:52 AM
A chemical, electrical and a civil engineer are agruing about how God designed the human being.

The chemical enginner says "God must be a chemical engineer to have designed the circulatory system."

The electrical enginner replies, "No, He couldn't have created such a beautiful nervous system if He weren't an electrical engineer."

Replies the civil engineer, "I disagree, God must be a civil engineer. Who else would place the waste disposal line right through a recreational area?"
So far, you are winning! (nm)Nessism
Apr 22, 2002 9:27 AM
re: engineering jokexxl
Apr 22, 2002 1:43 PM
I sure wish you guys would lighten up on engineers. My grandpappy was a railroad man...(nm).
engineer vs mgr: is all a matter of perspectiveSlipstream
Apr 22, 2002 1:53 PM
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
Another engineer & mgr one:Slipstream
Apr 22, 2002 2:04 PM
A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.

They got their ladders and tape measures and went out to the flagpole. Howerver, the measurement job had turned out to be a much more difficult task than any of them had imagined, with some of them falling off the ladders, some dropping their tape measures and so on, and the whole thing had just turned into a total mess.

After a while, an engineer happened along and saw what they were attempting to do. She walked over, pulled the flagpole out of the ground, and laid it flat on the ground. She measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the managers and then walked away without saying a word.

After the engineer had gone, one manager turned to another and laughed as he's shaking his head. "Now that's just like an engineer! We're looking for the height and she gives us the length!"
ok, so a mechanical engineer,djg
Apr 22, 2002 6:56 PM
a computer engineer, and an AI guy are having cokes in a bar and arguing over the world's greatest invention.

ME: The wheel is clearly the world's greatest invention--so simple, so pure, so damn useful--think of everything that you can do with the humble wheel.

CE: Maybe the wheel's good, but I'll take the digital computer any day. Think of how it has changed the world in such a short time. And we can't even imagine everything computers can do--we can't even imagine everything that can be represented as a computable function.

AI Guy: The thermos.

ME & CE: The thermos?

AI Guy: yeah, when you put hot stuff in it that you want to keep hot, it keeps it hot. And when you put cold stuff in it, it keeps it cold.

ME & CE: yeah? so?

AI Guy: so how does it know?