RoadBikeReview.com's Forum Archives - General


Archive Home >> General(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 )


friday madness - lets get it rollin'(30 posts)

friday madness - lets get it rollin'Spirito
Apr 19, 2002 9:55 AM
for the chick's, queers, studiers of anatomy and those who just like to compare:

which international rider has the biggest package. pics will be needed to confirm. no need to post which of the above categories you fit into but why not a bit of cc catalogue payback.

me - i felt proud that fellow ausie Stuart O(h)grady had more than a bit to show on the victroy dias. i dont know whether it was affected by the thrill of winning, the french babes flanking him or whether he gave it a quick ruffle as he knew he would be on camera (which would be a very australian thing to do - frued not needed). anyway i was proud for the good showing by an aussie and also made aware that he is circumcised.

yes this could be viewed in bad taste but who knows what interesting things may come of this thread even if its just a pre-weeking laugh.

p.s. no self contributions please unless you use your orignal handle and swear not to use photoshop!
let's not (nm)Crankist
Apr 19, 2002 10:09 AM
so...we disagree what constitues a good laugh....Spirito
Apr 19, 2002 10:20 AM
i would never let things like decency and good taste come before a chance for a good hearty giggle.

but then some consider me weird and not altogether with it.

who cares - its friday and will be forgotten by monday and its not like im asking anyone to come out or admit to being a size queen. what i do know is that we have all had a surreptitious askance look and its a natural thing that is not to be denied or be ashamed of. it doesn't make my passing gas an act of silence nor make me not desire women.

just looking for a little laugh ;-)
Spirito...Spirito...eschelon
Apr 19, 2002 11:33 AM
You are indeed an enigma to me...you have this razor sharp wit that makes me laugh and cringe...kind of like laughing at someone because they flatulated loudly and then in an instant realizing I just respirated/ingested via olfactory senses someone's gaseous molecules of fecal matter lodged in their sphincter (sp?) region.
so...we disagree what constitues a good laugh....S
Apr 19, 2002 2:37 PM
no need for testosterone egos on viagra
OMG!!!heloise
Apr 19, 2002 5:22 PM
"nasty barbies"!!!!
toooo funny.
any chick who tells you she doesn't know about "nasty barbies" is either lying or from another planet.

I have to admit i don't get the "mermaid" fascination tho'...i mean what's the point? (i.e. no legs?)
as paul hogan would comment in typical aussie parlance..Spirito
Apr 20, 2002 5:45 AM
thats a case of putting another prawn on the barbie.

:-)

yes , i know thats bad......
Missy Giove's got a bigger package than I do... -nmfloatch
Apr 19, 2002 10:10 AM
small, huh? nmcolker
Apr 19, 2002 11:11 AM
nm
penn!s collection? hmmm...i don't get it.colker
Apr 19, 2002 11:09 AM
let's play something else.
Enos Vasseur; in very bad tasteSlipstream
Apr 19, 2002 11:18 AM
anti-Petronis are you? Petronis was the "arbiter of good taste" under Nero; you have to be spirito, "arbiter of bad taste." OK, I'm with you.

Now for some bad taste: how about a pic of Enos and some background on him. Sorry, but I don't have full graphics but just reading about him should be enough. btw, I heard that Enos' last name is Vasseur, so you make the connection. Just goes to show what stress can do.

ENOS the Penis

Houston had a problem. The NASA doctors worried about the effects of extreme gravity, and zero gravity, on humans. And until they were sure it was safe, no American was going up there.

Enter Enos, an elite Californian chimp. Enos had successfully learnt all the tricks asked of him... and they were many. Firstly, after a light, he had to pull a lever to avoid an electric shock. Another light indicated that he had to wait 20 seconds before pulling a lever, to get a drink of water. A third light was the cue for him to pull a lever 50 times, to be rewarded with a banana pellet. Finally, another set of lights flashed 3 symbols. He had to press the odd one out, to avoid an electric shock.

Enos could attend to all these tasks simultaneously, and under pressure. It was this latter ability that was most important in choosing this heroic chimp. But his coping methods were causing the problem. Enos would pull his nappy down, and begin masturbating.

The engineers were desperate to stop this happening. He had an external catheter which he was in habit of removing.
Instead they used the internal catheters of the day. No use - Enos still pulled it out. A new catheter was required. No
urologist has been able to confirm it to me, but I believe this is the origin of the balloon urethral catheter, designed specifically to stop Enos from pulling it out and playing with himself.

Our story ends differently to how the engineers planned it. Enos performed admirably in space. He continued to carry out
his tasks under all the gravitational stresses, proving to the doctors that man could survive such conditions.

Unfortunately during the final moments of re-entry, the equipment malfunctioned. The computer for the 3-symbol puzzle stopped caring about Enos' accuracy, and decided to deliver electric shocks regardless. Enos tried his hardest to press the correct buttons, to no avail. He switched tack and pressed all the buttons. Then he tried to thump the machine repeatedly. The shocks just kept coming. Under such stress, Enos had but one course of action. Astonishingly, he managed to pull out the catheter with no permanent damage to himself. The remaining video footage has never been shown to the American public.

What was shown only narrowly avoided embarrassment. During the ensuing press conference, Enos began by pulling his
nappy down. NASA's people were horrified of what might follow. Fortunately Enos had more class than this, and restrained himself. Millions of Americans turned off their TV set that night thinking he was just a cute monkey.
studies have shown black is biggerishmael
Apr 19, 2002 11:42 AM
..i dont know who would fund such a study but its been done...the nastiest part is that in the same study it was determined that when erect my fellow white men come back and even it out...i forget what happend with the asians
gregg....any insider views to add? :-0 NmSpirito
Apr 19, 2002 11:47 AM
wicked!gregg
Apr 19, 2002 12:45 PM
Hmmm...do I go for the "Hell no, it ain't true, I can prove it! I got pics, wanna see??" approach?

Or maybe the sarcastic angle with "Oh yeah, it's totally true. My old lady is so dissappointed, she uses Bob (boyfriend on batteries).

Uhhh....ummm....
Perceived stereotypes go both ways....eschelon
Apr 19, 2002 11:59 AM
It amazes me how black people appreciate stereotypes that they are genetically great athletes, all asians know karate, all white people love eating casserole dishes and tuna helper and sheperd's pie, arabs are terrorists, etc.

Let's face it people, stereotypes are bad...it doesn't matter that it flatters that said ethnicity to some degree...once there is an acknowledgement of a stereotype, it leaves the door wide open for all of the negative stereotypes to claim validity.

You can quote from your "I read somewhere" obscure encyclopedia of knowledge all you want...but remember, just a few years ago in the past, white people said that black people were too stupid to learn anything and weren't even humans...which rationalized slavery and brutality on the African brethren...these "truths" were proclaimed by the learned scholars and scientists and religious leaders at the time.

Stereotypes cause more harm than good...better to live in a world without any of it.
Thank you for making the point. Well said...now the point on it's head128
Apr 19, 2002 12:35 PM
African Reggae - Nina Hagen
German English

es reicht so gut, pass auf, dass du nicht
geschnappt wirst. Sie sind naemlich hinter
dir her, du alter kiffer
dabei geht ihre gesellshaft am alkoholismus
zugrunde, aber dich jagen sie, DICH

It smells so fine, watch out you don't get busted.
'Cause they're after you, you old kiffer you.
So what if their world is going to pot from alcoholism
It's you they're hunting down, YOU.

haschisch, feinstes kaschmir
edelster tuerke, afghanisches gras
ein plaetzchen fuer mein schaetzchen
cannabis in holland
bob marley auf der venus

Hashish, finest kashmir, exquisite Turkish, Afghan grass,
A cookie for my snookie, cannabis in Holland,
Bob Marley on Venus.

i wanna go to africa, to the black jah rastaman
to the black culture
i will do tings like my black friends do
i do love it, hollandahiti I wanna go to Africa, to the blackjah rastaman
To the black culture
I will do tings like my black friends do
I do love it, holladahiti.

was soll ich denn aber in africa als frau, als frau
wenn der schwarze mann die schwarze frau kastriert
castration
But what business have I got in Africa as a woman, as a woman
When the black man castrates the black woman
Ow-ow, castration

get up stand up for the black revolution
for the revolution of the revolution
get up stand up Get up and stand up for the black revolution
For the black revolution.
Get up, stand up!
Another politically correct statement that has noLazywriter
Apr 21, 2002 9:49 AM
basis in reality. Sterotypes in and of themselves are not harmful. They are based on some aspect of reality and we all use them as guides in daily life. The stereotypes only become harmful when they are used in a deragatory manner.
For example, there are stereotypes of Harlem or the South Bronx which allows others to utilize (no matter what their color, race) to either chose to be safe or to be a total idiot. Based on the sterotype of those neighborhoods, most people wouldn't walk down the street with a gold Rolex flashing unless they were the local drug king and even then he is fair game. Point being that not all sterotypes are bad and the negative ones are more a result of a sort of cultural propoganda with an aim to discredit a race.
To deny that they aren't based on truths is ridiculous. You can make generalizations about groups of people but it is discrimination that is the problem. I could care less if someone views me as a typical Italian from NY and assume whatever they want, but if they try to keep me from attaining a job or entrance into a particular club, then that is discrimination which is an action and therefore wrong.
181 views - 6 respondees = interesting? 175 lurkers :-) NmSpirito
Apr 19, 2002 11:52 AM
175 people too amazed to comment... nmcollinsc
Apr 19, 2002 11:56 AM
175 people looking for digital cameras? (nm)Gregory Taylor
Apr 19, 2002 12:00 PM
175 lurkers...disinterested. 6 respondants...interested? nm128
Apr 19, 2002 12:03 PM
Oh, one of those'song-for-any-occasion-types?' Yeah, so!?128
Apr 19, 2002 12:05 PM
What Do You Want From Life?

(Spooner/Evans)
Copyright 1975 Pseudo Songs and Swiveltone Music

What do you want from life
To kidnap an heiress
or threaten her with a knife
What do you want from life
To get cable TV
and watch it every night

There you sit
a lump in your chair
Where do you sleep
and what do you wear
when you're sleeping

What do you want from life
An Indian guru
to show you the inner light
What do you want from life
a meaningless love affair
with a girl that you met tonight

How can you tell when you're doin' alright
Does your bank account swell
While you're dreaming at night
How do know when you're really in love
Do violins play when you're touching the one
That you're loving

What do you want from life
Someone to love
and somebody that you can trust
What do you want from life
To try and be happy
while you do the nasty things
you must

Well, you can't have that, but if you're an American citizen you are entitled to:
a heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a kingsize Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year's supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby,
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
a new Matador,
a new mastadon,
a Maverick,
a Mustang,
a Montego,
a Merc Montclair,
a Mark IV,
a meteor,
a Mercedes,
an MG,
or a Malibu,
a Mort Moriarty,
a Maserati,
a Mac truck,
a Mazda,
a new Monza,
or a moped,
a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away,
or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby's arm holding an apple?
I just know it is not meIcefrk13
Apr 19, 2002 12:32 PM
re: friday madness - lets get it rollin':: Roadrunner: bye bye!128
Apr 19, 2002 12:54 PM
Go to McSorley's and crank this on the Jukebox (and have a drink on me....

ROADRUNNER (UNRELEASED)
(RICHMAN)

Roadrunner, roadrunner
Going faster miles an hour
Gonna drive past the Stop 'n' Shop
With the radio on
I'm in love with Massachusetts
And the neon when it's cold outside
And the highway when it's late at night
Got the radio on
I'm like the roadrunner

Alright
I'm in love with modern moonlight
128 when it's dark outside
I'm in love with Massachusetts
I'm in love with the radio on
It helps me from being alone late at night
It helps me from being lonely late at night
I don't feel so bad now in the car
Don't feel so alone, got the radio on
Like the roadrunner
That's right

Said welcome to the spirit of 1956
Patient in the bushes next to '57
The highway is your girlfriend as you go by quick
Suburban trees, suburban speed
And it smells like heaven(thunder)
And I say roadrunner once
Roadrunner twice
I'm in love with rock & roll and I'll be out all night
Roadrunner
That's right

Well now
Roadrunner, roadrunner
Going faster miles an hour
Gonna drive to the Stop 'n' Shop
With the radio on at night
And me in love with modern moonlight
Me in love with modern rock & roll
Modern girls and modern rock & roll
Don't feel so alone, got the radio on
Like the roadrunner
O.K., now you sing Modern Lovers

(Radio On!)
I got the AM
(Radio On!)
Got the car, got the AM
(Radio On!)
Got the AM sound, got the
(Radio On!)
Got the rockin' modern neon sound
(Radio On!)
I got the car from Massachusetts, got the
(Radio On!)
I got the power of Massachusetts when it's late at night
(Radio On!)
I got the modern sounds of modern Massachusetts
I've got the world, got the turnpike, got the
I've got the, got the power of the AM
Got the, late at night, (?), rock & roll late at night
The factories and the auto signs got the power of modern sounds
Alright

Right, bye bye!

Originally recorded by Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers
re: Bring on the Colorado Cyclist Womanjrm
Apr 19, 2002 1:10 PM
let's see 1 and 1/2 hours left. Get me outta here..
re: Bring on the Colorado Cyclist WomanIcefrk13
Apr 19, 2002 1:29 PM
1 hr for, and I second the motion
re: friday madness - lets get it rollin'heloise
Apr 19, 2002 5:30 PM
ok i'm F, but i won't name any names.
however, it has been discussed in some female-cyclist- circles, and the conclusion is that "colored" cycling shorts (anything other than black) seem to have been invented with, ahem, the female voyeur in mind.

remember those Mercury silver shorts? man those were the best.....
I knew it!!Qubeley
Apr 19, 2002 7:40 PM
that's why I love my Lampre bib.(Royle Blue/Pink)
And I always wear my dark navy jersey to match it!
good to see these things are studied and shared NmSpirito
Apr 20, 2002 4:47 AM
I think this guy has the biggest bulge in his pantsLazywriter
Apr 21, 2002 9:36 AM
everybody line up.