|the ultimate leg shaving (haiku) FAQ||JS Haiku Shop|
Apr 18, 2002 11:00 AM
|shaving, many thoughts
oh, my...should i shave my legs?
or pimp hairy gams?
some say shave knees-up
creating the feared "hair socks"
please do not do this
some say shave it all
like authentic greek athletes
well, it's up to you.
my job with haiku
not to lean you either way
but to state the facts
first time shave, best way:
have four beers, then have two more
then, have two more beers
use disposable razor
and barbisol gel
then, have two more beers
admire sleek legs in mirror
clean up hairy mess
dear freshly shaven:
beware! pants, socks will feel strange
and S.O. may freak!
long time no shave, fast:
have four beers, then in hot bath
two more beers in tow
pink daisy razor
supplement with import beer
careful, and take time.
other shave questions
lest haiku not address all
let's consider more:
Nair: good idea?
-if you like strange smell (and taste!),
and not apt to spill
if shave, what purpose?
simple: aero benefits
and big weight savings
only if belong
some large gorilla species
or perhaps sasquatch
maybe for suntan
so rays from star are even
equal tan, both stumps?
no, good friend, not so
methinks better for lotions
suntan and bug spray
massage easier, it's true
see, if ride enough
to "mow the grass" off said legs
ride, risk overuse
then, with injury
to physical therapist
where bend like pretzel
and push on your quads
"massage" they call it! ho! ha!
much more like "the rack"
during leg abuse, they use
sticky massage salve
goo not good in hair
suppose same with real masseuse
shave, for goodness sake!
and, bug passengers?
hairy legs=moving "fly strip"
end ride, many bugs
then, there's "rookie mark"
easy remove chainring grease
if no hair on leg
oh, and much simpler
make temporary tattoo
if no hair on thigh
maybe i'll get rose
or tasmanian devil
or a heart with "mom"
or maybe i'll skip it
and not use temp leg tattoo
from cracker jacks box
and what of road rash?
better no hair when shred skin?
oh, most certainly!
and, if shave legs, then
why not shave also forearms?
ahh, and eyebrows, too?
but, true reason here...
I shave legs to honor sport
but mostly for vanity
|Let me try a Haiku||eschelon|
Apr 18, 2002 11:06 AM
|Should I shave or not?
yes. But what about the butt?
I know...pathetic...I'm no D.H. Lawrence.
|D.H. Lawrence was no D.H. Lawrence. (nm0||Sintesi at home|
Apr 18, 2002 2:46 PM
Apr 18, 2002 11:11 AM
|Here's my attempt (Rhyming haiku no less)||mikebikr|
Apr 18, 2002 11:21 AM
|Should I shave my toes
that's not the way it supposed
no less drag there goes
I'm no JS Haiku either.
|actually, I...........................................oh, nevermind. (nm)||JS Haiku Shop|
Apr 18, 2002 11:23 AM
|It's OK ...let me have it. (NM)||mikebikr|
Apr 18, 2002 11:41 AM
|...||JS Haiku Shop|
Apr 18, 2002 12:26 PM
|to shave toes or not?
toe road rash not too likely
(shave them anyhow)
shaved legs, summer shorts,
pair of open toed sandals
hairy toes look strange
|re: the ultimate leg shaving (haiku) FAQ||Slipstream|
Apr 15, 2002 12:04 PM
|lotsa' beers & real whippin cream |
make happy SO then add one jacusi
carried away & maybe shave all over
Apr 18, 2002 12:56 PM
|me shave chick,
chick shave me;
interesting? fun? ;-)
|I wonder if anyone...||eschelon|
Apr 18, 2002 1:03 PM
|knows the correct methodology and rules to composing Haiku poems?
Just like the Special Olympics and its participants, no one is a loser...nor is anyone wrong...but hey, people, if you are going to compose really bad Haiku poems...you might as well do it right...here are the rules:
first line has 5 syllables total
second line has 7 syllables total
last line has 5 syllables total
Now get out there and start rambling off your worst Haiku's be proud of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
|those rules only apply if written in Japanese||Slipstream|
Apr 18, 2002 1:27 PM
|in english, it is allowed to be free flowing|
|yo....sumtin' illin' wit da NYC freeform haiku-flayva Nm||Spirito|
Apr 18, 2002 1:27 PM
|Hah, you're a real devil||Slipstream|
Apr 18, 2002 4:01 PM
|but kinda' luvable just the same (don't take this the wrong way)
but you forget the beer, whipping cream and jacuzzi
I am sure you have thought of many many other things though
|sure...but aren't they just flavor enhancers and sides......||Spirito|
Apr 18, 2002 4:42 PM
|sometimes a grilled fish tastes just great on its own.
given a fresh fish i would even forego the seasoning.
and you really gonna hate me for this but i very, very rarely drink beer (..i even grew up in australia) but if i do its hoegarden (sp?) or guiness and neither of those appeall when in company, whereas vodka or tequila 9never together) my good sir....:-)
|no no, they are the appetizers||Slipstream|
Apr 18, 2002 5:05 PM
|you need to build up slowly to the main course, and of course there is the appertif to linger over while you savor the moment
now the choice of seasoning and au couture may and will vary given individual circumstances and tastes but remember a Pilsner Urquel can taste as sweet as a Chateau d'Yquem or a trockenbeerenauslese in the hands of a maestro (as if you didn't know this already)
what were we talking about? oh yeh, shaving. what does this have to do with that? i guess you would call this a third order derivative
|"Third Order Derivative"||Ahimsa|
Apr 18, 2002 7:37 PM
|I remember them. Late eighties prog rock band out of London, right?
Nothing in my mind tops the following:
Sake (served warm or cold depending on brand and season) just before fine sushi.
Japanese dry beer with grilled food or in hot weather. Preferably both.
Home brewed brown ale ala my ol'pal Ken.
That choice bottle of mellow old smokey tequila that "what's his name" smuggled across the border in his sock in the early seventies. Uncorked for us on a hot august afternoon 25 years later. I forgot my own name by six P.M.
Any decent Port, Madiera, or Sherry.
Ice cold el-cheapo beer in a can at the local punk rock club on a friday nite.
Huge chunks of fresh pineapple turned pickled drunk in vats of Finlandia and served in a monstrous martini glass. Topped with additional Finlandia of course.
Any froo froo mixed drink made by a bartender old enough to know how to make a good Mai Tai (and smile all reminiscent-like while doing so).
Red Stripe on the dinghy in the chop off St. John.
A good martini (I know the ONLY place).
My bloody mary's.
My best friends Sin-ga-pore slings.
Gimlets with my dad one night that said it was all forgiven.
Old Speckled Hen and fish an' chips.
Guiness and scotch eggs.
Beer and V-8 with my eggs for the hangover.
A big grand cheers!
|aah, Ahisma, you know how to bring it home||Slipstream|
Apr 19, 2002 7:03 AM
|nothing like having your eggs and "third orders" over easy |
just like Sunday mornin', eh?
|Why I can't bring myself to shave||velolover|
Apr 18, 2002 1:05 PM
|I like the mystique
smooth shaved legs on fast roadies
I want to fit in
I have never raced
no road rash or leg massage
|My God you're gifted.||Sintesi at home|
Apr 18, 2002 2:49 PM
|How long does it take you to reel off a post like that exactly? Do you stay up nights?|
|Uh... I'm being earnest.||Sintesi at home|
Apr 18, 2002 2:51 PM
|Just reread that. Please don't take it as sarcastic. thx.|
|You just noticed?||Spinchick|
Apr 18, 2002 3:20 PM
|He's the bard of the board. We luv him here :-).|
Apr 18, 2002 8:01 PM
|stopped shaving march 1 |
years of smooth legs over now
hair shorts are hair pants
shaving legs no more
razor is used on face hair
I feel slower now
question about hair
it doesn't grow back thicker
itchy for a while
Apr 19, 2002 6:17 AM
|I've solidly stood on the credo that I would not shave. (Mostly out of fear of retribution from the wife.) Fear no more! It's coming off today! Pray for me! Hopefully 15 years of marriage should withstand this......|
|She likes it ! She really likes it!||look271|
Apr 20, 2002 2:14 PM
|Did the nair thing. Yesterday. Legs smooth as a baby's butt. My wife didn't say anything except this morning she said "you have relly sexy legs!" Hehe. =)|
|shaving, SO's and beverages||Turtleherder|
Apr 19, 2002 6:55 AM
|The haiku is sheer inspiration. How do you do it? Look271, just go ahead and shave, your wife will like it. Mine is already asking me to hurry up and shave. For shaving refreshments one of my favorite summer adult beverages is blackberry instilled vodka. Take two pints of blackberries and add them to one bottle of Absolut (still can't bring myself to use the Greygoose) An old pickle jar works well. Put the jar on the kitchen counter and turn over once per day for five days, then into the freezer. Great refreshing taste and the blackberries turn into little frozen alcohol bombs.|
|You are gifted.||RideLots|
Apr 19, 2002 7:20 AM
|You are not only gifted with the ability to write these things, but you seem to have pretty good insight into the substance, too. It's really cool.
|i went to advanced schools from second grade 'til...||JS Haiku Shop|
Apr 22, 2002 5:24 AM
|and the rest is history, pretty much along these lines:|
|case in point...||JS Haiku Shop|
Apr 22, 2002 5:26 AM