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In an effort to keep this board female-friendly...(37 posts)

In an effort to keep this board female-friendly...Spinchick
Apr 15, 2002 4:01 PM
Okay so it's not a photo but I got a nice visual:

Two Wheel Tango

Those clingy black shorts they wear
The tanned and bony knees they bear
The helmets, leather gloves and pumps
The fanny packs upon their rumps
Oh I like, I like, I like - a man on a bike

Even in a navy 3-piece suit,
With a briefcase on the carrier to boot,
A silver clip encircling the shin
Mmmm to neatly tuck the pant leg in

Oh she likes, she likes, she likes - gentlemen on bikes
Something 'bout a man on a bicycle,
That's both naughty, yet nicycle
The friendly HIs, the muscled thighs,
Oh I melt just like an icicle
Around a man on a bicycle

Oh when it comes to the art of seduction,
By now you must have made the deduction
That a fellow in a car doesn't get very far with me
Proving once again that less is more,
I say 2-wheels are much hotter than 4
And a 5-speed or a 10-speed gives me all the speed
I really need
To drive me to ecstasy

What a thrilling nonpolluting sight,
Men pedaling with all their might
Crouched like panthers over handle bars
Trying not to be rundown by cars
I just know they must be special guys
I confess they make me fantasize
Keep your movie stars for what they're worth
Give me a man who wants to save the earth
Oh she likes, she likes, she likes - gentlemen on bikes

Lyrics by Marie-Lynn Hammond
re: In an effort to keep this board female-friendly...RadicalRonPruitt
Apr 15, 2002 4:28 PM
Did we really ask for this? Let's talk about chicks on bikes, not the other way around.
"Let's talk about chicks on bikes, not the other way around."Ahimsa
Apr 15, 2002 4:31 PM
What, you mean bikes on chicks?

That's just weird.

"Let's talk about chicks on bikes, not the other way around."RadicalRonPruitt
Apr 15, 2002 5:44 PM
What didn't you understand about that. She was talking about dudes on bikes. I want to talk about chicks on bikes.
You crack me up Ron.Ahimsa
Apr 15, 2002 5:59 PM
Painfully honest, naive to a fault, and wholly without any sense of irony or understanding of subtle humour.

You should be a nun.

I was just goofing around Ron, I know what you meant.


You crack me up Ron.RadicalRonPruitt
Apr 15, 2002 6:12 PM
OH. I get it now. It is always hard to tell these things on the internet. Too bad you can't record your voice to these messages so you can hear the vocal inflections.
re: You crack me up Ron.cyclopathic
Apr 16, 2002 4:51 AM
he is just a kid he'll grow over it.
re: You crack me up Ron.RadicalRonPruitt
Apr 16, 2002 4:55 AM
How many kids do you know have been married four times.
4 marriages sounds like a long adolescence to me nm.dzrider
Apr 16, 2002 11:44 AM
Can you trust a guy who calls HIMSELF radicalron?retro
Apr 16, 2002 8:03 AM
It's like saying, "I'm SO wacky" or talking about how drunk you are. Nicknames don't count if you give them to yourself.
Can you trust a guy who calls HIMSELF radicalron?RadicalRonPruitt
Apr 17, 2002 5:44 AM
I didn't give the name to myself. My friends gave it to me because I can pull of stunts on my track bike similar to those of a bmx x games type.
Does hubby know how you feel?MB1
Apr 15, 2002 4:44 PM
As a side note I have yet to see the Colorado Cyclist catalogue but we did get the Terry catalogue in the mail. The chick on the cover is great. They did it with a sense of humor too.

She is wearing downhill body armor and one of Terry's cycling skirts in a floral print. Cracked us both up.

For that matter what is with all the guys here getting all worked up over a model in a cycling rag. Get married and end up with all sorts of underwear catalogues in the mail. Boring in no time...
"Get married and end up with all sorts of underwear catalogues"Ahimsa
Apr 15, 2002 4:51 PM
Catalogues? Hell, what about the real thing?

My wife has insane amounts of undergarments (not that I mind).

How about: "Get married and end up with all sorts of underwear all over the place."

What's even funnier is this whole "gay not gay" game people play. As if that makes one less attractive, or more available to you in reality.



A. (Not gay. BWAHAHAHA!)
Hey I just bought him his first pair of cycling shorts.Spinchick
Apr 15, 2002 5:00 PM
He looks pretty darn good in them too ;-).
"i get velonews....heloise
Apr 15, 2002 6:27 PM
for the articles" ;)

hehehe. very well done! yes any sport where a female gets to be pretty much surrounded(what's the ratio? 10-to-1?) by (generally) buff dudes in spandex with {{{shiver}}} shaved legs...wellll. ahem. thank goddess!
"i get velonews....curlybike
Apr 15, 2002 7:32 PM
And you only look at the legs, is that what you are saying.?
and I thought I was...theBreeze
Apr 15, 2002 7:49 PM
the only one secretly drooling over the photos. Ha! The latest cover with Cipo winning Milan-San Remo is HOT. Those zebra stripes really work.
A non-cycling chick once told me...guido
Apr 15, 2002 10:51 PM
they all like men who ride bikes: they're not only buff, a picture of health and vitality, but also have great stamina.
My 16 year old daughter thinks Cipo is a hottie!McAndrus
Apr 16, 2002 6:21 AM
She was rather disappointed when she found out he's 35, married, and has two daughters. But then she got over it and still thinks he's the cats pajamas. Whenever a Cycle Sport or VeloNews shows up, she's in there looking for ol' Mario.
you want hotlonefrontranger
Apr 15, 2002 8:57 PM
I am sponsored by Excel, and personally know and ride with some of the Elite/Pro fellas that model for the mag. Not only are they awesome guys to be around, they also possess the kinds of legs you just want to cover in chocolate and eat for dessert.

great, now I'm hungry too... nmSpinchick
Apr 16, 2002 4:34 AM
why you...heloise
Apr 16, 2002 5:25 AM
lucky girl, you!

funny you should mention that. i've always thought of Excel as the "serious" cyclist's mailorder catalog.

CC is "mailorder for the Bicycling Magazine crowd" in my mind. And no not just because of the recent cover brewhaha. I've actually always thought that the MALE models they use are a bit too...buff on top. Like they spend more time in the gym than on the road. Pretty boys, but not my type.

I'm a cyclist dammit! Give me guys with that "I-just- finished-the-tour" look up-top and those massive cycling legs(shaved of course!).

A bit off topic, but has this happened to any of you gals? You meet a guy in "real life" and he's "so-so". Then you run into him on a ride. You get too see him in his lycra and watch how he handles his bike and suddenly...he's HOT!
Or am i the only one?
Boys are so cute on bikes.
why you...RadicalRonPruitt
Apr 16, 2002 5:33 AM
I would disagree with you. Performance is the mail order for the bicycling magazine crowd.
I feel like a piece of ain't so bad. (NM)mikebikr
Apr 16, 2002 4:33 AM
this kinda reminds mecyclopathic
Apr 16, 2002 4:49 AM
the story happened to the friend of mine. She got into gay bar once (I guess it wasn't recognizable from outside at her intoxication level). It took her a while to figure out but then she was devastated.. in her own words:" there were so many sensitive, beautiful and intelligent men I knew I could never have.."


PS with respect to ratio 93% of bicycling subscriptions made by men, so it is 14-to-1, cheers
The TruthRadicalRonPruitt
Apr 16, 2002 4:54 AM
Hey, you don't have to be a homo to be good looking, intelligent, and sensitive. That is a stereotype. Most gay men are miserable and unhappy and die at a young age. Don't be misled.
Apr 16, 2002 5:43 AM
Holy-moly you just made my day! Biologically speaking 14-to-one sounds just about right ;)

Seriously, i lead women's cycling clinics and am always trying to encourage more women to ride. But ya have to admit those numbers look pretty darn good for a "single and looking" bike-riding woman!
That's why my other hobby is scrap booking (84 to 1) ; ) (nm)salmonwheel
Apr 16, 2002 9:47 AM
re: 14-to-1!cyclopathic
Apr 16, 2002 10:47 AM
my MTB riding buddy (she happened to be an intelligent and nice looking blond) tells her girlfriends that if you're looking take a bike go to trail and fake mechanical. 1/2 hour later you'd have ten phone # to choose from.

I think I'm gonna go and teach brownies to ride. In 5-10 years there will be more riding girls, and future reincarnations of radicalron will do better then fantasize over catalog pics.

Meanwhile, enjoy your luck you hit the lottery. I wish I could talk my wife into riding.
re: In an effort to keep this board female-friendly...theBreeze
Apr 15, 2002 8:24 PM
Did Graham Watson have female fans in mind when he took this one?
re: In an effort to keep this board female-friendly...mmquest
Apr 15, 2002 8:39 PM
Love the poem, but you forgot to mention how sexy our farmer's tans make us look at the beach...
and hair shorts (nm)JS Haiku Shop
Apr 16, 2002 4:49 AM
I was starting to really grow my self esteem...mikebikr
Apr 16, 2002 6:56 AM
then the hair short thing brought me back to reality. Now I know for a fact that that's not attractive to anyone. Oh well at least I look OK with my shorts on. Thankfully i don't have the matching sweater!
Apr 16, 2002 7:19 AM
"How high do you shave?"

If you have the hair shorts going on, why not just extend your shave? Better yet, get your S.O. to do it for you ;)
I don't have leg hair......salmonwheel
Apr 16, 2002 9:50 AM
maybe I was genetically engineered for cycling. The next prototype should have big lungs and strong legs though.
Do you really want to Know???/mikebikr
Apr 16, 2002 11:59 AM
Mid thigh is as high as I go. When the shaved area grows in, its like sandpaper. I don't want sandpaper any higher thank-you.

As far as having my SO shave me. Initally that sounds appealing then I think about my wife's memory system works. She could be reading a book and remember how I left the seat up four years ago. With my luck she would be shaving my nether regions and remember that I (accidentaly) stood her up while we were dating. No thanks...I'll keep control of the sharp things down there.

How far up do you shave? Oh nevermind.
re: In an effort to keep this board female-friendly...Krypton
Apr 17, 2002 6:01 AM
Funny poem Spinchick. I thought your post came at the right time, I think some of the post lately bu RRP where, hum, let's say a bit out of line! Keep up the sense of humor.

As someone said, I feel like a piece of meat....bah, it's not so bad ;-)